The Emperor's New School Lost Episode

I loved the emperor's new groove franchise, I owned all the movies. And i even watched the TV show. But somehow, My parents banned me from watching it because of a lost episode i watched.

One particular day, my computer was doing an annoying noise like if it were a whisk. My brother insisted me to examine it or the CPU was going to literally burn up. Anyways, I was browsing this online forum when I discovered a post about an unreleased episode of The Emperor's New School. Curious, I clicked on a download link included by the poster. I had some time to download it before having to visit my grandparents' house. Eventually, we got back at around 1:00 AM. As soon as I got home, I downloaded an episode of the emperor's new school, as expected, my computer kept making that hideous noise.

I don't know how the website recovered these pieces of lost media, but it had almost everything that it could get it's hands on. However, I stayed silent about that. I didn't work on the website anyway. However, as I scrolled down after seeing some entries, I found something that caught my eye.

The episode i downloaded had a file named malina.ogx, I was concerned because maybe this was a lost episode. I decided to give it a first look but i decided to wait until tomorrow to look at it.

So, it was about a week ago when I was having a garage sale and I needed some money, so I went in my basement to dig through storage. It was boring and I didn't really find anything other than a couple old movies and some toys from when I was a kid. But something caught my attention. One of my Movies was a little heavy like there were more than one disc in there. So I popped open the case and surely enough there were 4 discs crammed in there. The first two were lion king movies. The next was a Finding Nemo special features disc then there was one dvd that was blank and it simply said "The Emperor's New School Episode 643". Now I have my fair share in liking The Emperor's New School and I never remember an episode 643. So I did what anyone else would do and I popped it in to my dvd player. The title screen was plain. I pressed play on the episode and it started immediately.

The episode had started off with Kronk giving us an introduction instead of Kuzco. I know Malina did one of the introductions once. But i keep forgetting the episode's name. The theme song played much more differently. When kuzco bounces off of his throne, He crashed into the twin towers, I'm thinking that David Spade or J.P Manoux could've predicted 9/11.

Next, As kuzco arrives at school, He finds that Malina is killed and screams to death. But then the intro is cut off and heads straight to the episode. The episode started off in the Kuzco Academy hallways. There is steam coming out of the Gymnasium. It fades to one of the locker rooms, And we can see an actual glimpse of the girls locker room. Malina was taking a shower, And i finally saw a disney character naked for real!

Meanwhile, Kuzco is seen with Kronk, They are eating lunch. They were eating chicken sandwiches with a side of peas. Kuzco claims that Malina wasn't in Geography today. Meanwhile, Kronk had to go to the bathroom. When he was done pissing, The toilet wouldn't flush. Maybe it's because Malina took a 2 hour shower and is still taking it.

Kuzco and Kronk go to Principal Amzy's office and claim to her that the toilet wouldn't flush when Kronk went to the bathroom. She believed them, So Principal Amzy automatically calls a plumber for help. When the plumber saw the situation, The plumber said, "The problem with the toilet isn't the fact that the toilet won't flush, It's because someone is showering for too long." So Principal Amzy convinces Kuzco and Kronk to act like Norman Bates to stab Malina. Yzma, Kronk and Kuzco sneak into the Girls Locker Room. Kuzco is given the chance to kill Malina. The psycho murder theme begins to play as Kuzco stretches up to give Malina a hard time. Malina quickly dashed as Sonic the Hedgehog while running away clothless. She screams past Principal Amzy. Kuzco claimed that he tried his best, Yzma wasn't mad which was good. So Yzma screams out, "To The Secret Lab!" Kronk always pulled the lever but he actually got the right lever.

Kuzco has a plan, His plan is to get Malina caught in glue so he could finally kill her. Yzma claimed that Kuzco's plan is a success. So they put glue near the cafeteria entrance, Kuzco got his video camera and silently recorded Malina getting stuck in glue. Then Kronk gets the chance to finally stab Malina. "For causing bathroom trouble, I'm going to kill you." Malina is finally stabbed to death.

Then, the screen cut to black. it then pans to Pacha's house with Tipo and Chaca in the kitchen with a bored look on their face.

Pacha then came with a depressed look on his face and said something, it was hard to tell who spoke, but I could make it out:

Pacha: Tipo, Chaca, I have something to tell you.

Tipo: What?

Chaca: Yeah Daddy, What is it?

Pacha: Your... Sister, is dead.

Then Tipo and Chaca started crying, but it didn't sound like cartoon crying, it sounded like a human crying as if the voice actors were crying. Though I didn't even know Tipo and Chaca had a sister!

Chaca started covering her eyes with her hands. After 30 seconds of crying, She stopped and opened them. The camera then cut to Pacha with black eyes with blood dripping down from them.

Meanwhile, Back at school, Yzma tells her that Kuzco was not born in Kuzcopolis, not in the jungle as many people think, but in a town called Surtensia, far away from Kuzco Academy.

It showed the whole school being incinerated. Kuzco ran into the school, the doors opened and the shot revealed the rest of the School Students, Yzma and even Bucky the Squirrel all dead on the floor. They all had bloodshot eyes, and standing before the big fish was when I felt my heart sink in. It was a character I used for a long time; Darth Vader. When I first made him, he was created as an evil toy genius. But this wasn't supposed to happen. How can my own character be in the series? What a coincidence! And when I glanced at him, he was like a monster.

It then showed a picture of Malina with eyes pouring blood appeared, but this time in horrible quality. Half a minute later a clip of Tipo and Chaca walking and looking severely depressed from Red Mist footage appeared and a split second frame of a black screen with the words "R.I.P. Malina" appeared, then footage of the Candle Cove Screaming Episode, then it showed a memory of Kronk as a kid, then a split second frame of the episode titled as Episode 643, and finally, screams of pain getting more and more painful sounding.

For some reason, I kept watching, not affected by the obviously disturbing stuff going on. Kuzco then proceeded to kill Yzma, each time screaming. Yzma at this point started to run away from Kuzco, screaming and crying for her parents to save her. Kuzco just chuckled, and said in a demonic voice, "Mommy and daddy can't help you!" And he bit Yzma in half, eating her brains and stomachs. Then, Kronk came in, apparently not noticing Yzma died. Meanwhile at Pacha's house, Pacha goes to sleep and we get treated to his dreams/nightmares there was a lot of flashing colors and shapes with Pacha in the dream world/just dream. After about 30 seconds I heard a loud booming voice that sounded like my computer was at 100 volume/percent. However my volume was turned down to 50 volume/percent. The voice said "YOU ARE WEAK... HUMBLE... DISGRACEFUL... NO ONE!!!!!". This part shocked me the most, I was jumpscared by the monster that Junior watched on the TV except it looked a lot more... demented.

It then started to play the reading rainbow theme much more differently!

Butterfly in the sky I'm going to take your eyes Just take a look Oh wait you can't Your eyes are gone, bro... I caaaaan't see anythiiiiiing I hope you fall Bump into walls Your eyes are gone broooo... I can't see anythiiiiing You can't watch Shrek, You'll break your neck, Your eyes are gone brooooo...

Then the show finally ended with the rolling credits. I dared not to watch the series again!

Comments • 0

Loading comments...