The Forbidden Smash Character
So, one day I decided to open my shitty old Nintendo 64. I inserted the cartridge (I prefer disks, idiots at Nintendo!) of Super Smash Bros. and I wanted to give it a try after all those years. Basically, I started a classic game with Kirby (because he sucks everything) but something was different. Probably because my dog took a shit on the TV. It was bloody. I started playing with a character named Blood Falcon because he seemed most cleaned. Obviously, he wasn't covered in blood, duh. But when I started fighting Link, he became the fucking Ben, who drowned. I was shocked.
Yes, the console was old and stuff but getting that old... This was disgusting. When I won by beating his ass, I started fighting Team Yoshi. I won instantly, because all of them fuckin dead. Like, stop ruining the game with my trollpasta! When I got to the Master Hand boss, I saw Sakurai, the creator of this game. He said "I will never add Waluigi" and pointed a middle finger at me :( Then I saw "A new foe has appeared". I have all the characters.
When I got o the fight, I saw that it was fucking Winnie The Pooh! I lost because Blood Falcon sucks. Then I replayed the classic mode with Kirby but it was gone. I called Sakurai and asked him what was that. He said "I will never add Waluigi or Winnie The Pooh in smash but they are secret characters" and pointed a middle finger at me again :( Since my dog took a piss on my Nintendo 64 I had to do it in Brawl.
I opened up my Wii and I was excited because my home menu looked bloody. I completed classic with Marth and I saw "Five new foes had appeared". I fought fucking Walugi, Winnie The Pooh, Poo from Earthbound, Poo emoji, and a literal human shit! That was awesome. But sadly Sakurai invented middle finger bazooka and destroyed the crap out of me :(
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