The Giant, Creepy-Ass-Hairless-Spooky monster

It was a normal evening.

I was coming back home after going to the cinema, where i saw the movie "Grifting: Story of Little Otik", and i was sleepy as shit.

I got home.

On the door there were some were some scratch marks, but i wasn't surprised since my siberian husky Smiley usually does stuff like that.

I still remember the day i met him.

I was walking down the street when i saw a photo of him on a tree, it said that the poor dog ran away and his owner couldn't find him anymore.

He had such a big, BIG smile!!!

I managed to find him some days later, and when i called the owner he said i could keep him.

I was soooooo happy!!!

I said hello to my neighboor Mordegard Glesgorv and opened the door.

Mr. Glesgorv was a pretty smart fella, he was an experienced marketing coordinator at some fancy advertising agency but he was pretty friendly as well.

Altough rumors flying around the neighborhood say that he killed some fuckers in his youth.

I went inside, gave some food to Smiley, and opened the TV.

Since there weren't any interesting shows, i decided to go to sleep.

The only thing that seemed interesting was a Simpsons episode with Bart falling out of a plane but i was waaaay too sleepy for that shit.

So i went to my room and went to sleep, ignoring the weird black liquid...thing that was near a window.

At 23:44 i heard weird sounds coming from downstairs.

I tried to ignore them.

However, some ten minutes later i heard a lound bang and decided to investigate.

I grabbed my titanium dildo, a candle and went downstairs.

I saw something horrible:

A giant, creepy-ass-hairless-spooky monster was staring at me!!!

He was soooooooo hyper-realistic!!!!

And he smelled like diarrhea!!!

As he was approaching me he took one massive, smelly shit, the turd slowly fell out of his butt and then exploded on the floor.

I tried to attack him with the dildo but he dodged my attack and took my dildo.

I tried to run, he chased me around the house for hours and hours and hours and hours!!!

At some point i even tried to piss on his face, but that only made him angry.

I even tried to attack him with empty beer bottles, didn't work.

So he finally got me cornered in my closet.

He approached me.

I was doomed.

I saw his claws getting nearer...

...and then i grabbed my AK47 outta my toilet and blasted that son of a bitch away.

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