The Haunted Controller

A few weeks ago, I was happily playing on my Xbox 360 (on Nazi Zombies, as will soon become apparent) when, suddenly, the light to the upper-right of the guide button on my purple controller went away. A notification showed up on the screen, telling me to reconnect the controller.

I thought this was a pretty normal thing to happen - that the batteries had just gone flat - so I just swapped the current ones for a fully-charged pair. Everything went smoothly until about 10 minutes had passed, when the light faded away again. This time, though, it let me continue playing. "This is pretty weird", I thought to myself, but I just shrugged it off and ignored everything that had just happened. Bad idea.

Everything (except for the controller) seemed quite normal for a bit. In fact, I was able to progress 10 rounds or so, using my normal method, until anything strange occured again. It was a dog round, this time, and the light on my controller messed up again! It had changed from the 'Player 1' position to the one for 'Player 4'. Strangely, Tank Dempsey (my character, since I was on solo) said a line which I had never heard before. He shouted in his typical way, "Hey, Player, get ready for the worst!!". 3 dark, ghostly figures (which, I guess, could be compared to the dementors from Harry Potter 3) also appeared, rather than the expected hellhounds. These guys seemed completely invincible; I had shot them several times each with the Wunderwaffe DG-2 and had sprayed entire mags into them with my MG42. Obviously, there was nothing I could do but let poor Dempsey die. Upon seeing the scores for the match, I was actually kinda shocked. The scores were, in this order:

YOU'RE NEXT (666 kills)

GET READY (666 kills)

I'M WAITING (Soon to be 4 kills...)

Conneruuu (397 kills)

By this point, I was starting to become genuinely scared. I tried to convince myself that it must have been some sort of glitch in the programming. I played a few more matches. Same outcome. I even tried some other games, but with similar results. I turned off the console to see that my controller was... vibrating violently? That couldn't be possible! It began to glow and the lights around the guide button started flashing quickly to many vibrant colours to such an extent that people could have seizures by just looking at it.

It picked it up and smashed it on the floor. I kept on hitting it until it was as broken as I could make it. Without thinking twice, I locked all of my doors, boarded all of my windows and turned on every light in my house. Every day, I wake up to see more and more satanic drawings on my bedrooms walls. I really have no idea what's going on here, but it's creeping me out loads. If you're still reading this, please help me...

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