The Luigi Overtaking
One cloudy day I was so bored that I went to a garage sale. They sold many knick-knacks, toys, and comic books. They even sold video games. I went through many video games. Clifford, Caillou, and Dragon Tales. These were all educational video games! However, I stumbled upon one decent looking game. It was titled Mario is Missing. At the time I had no idea what horrors awaited me... This was also an educational game!
I put the game into my SNES. I turned on the system and TV, and was excited to play a Mario game I've never played before. The game booted up, and Mario came into view. He waved at me and I waved back, looking like an idiot.
Mario walked along a frozen tundra, and suddenly, a hole opened up in the ground. Mario fell down the hole and a cartoony splat could be heard. Luigi walked from the left of the screen, and large text appeared above him. It read Mario is Die.
I was astonished. Not just by the fact that Mario was dead, but by the horribly written words. I assumed Luigi said "Mario is Die", as the text appeared above him, or that this was the actual title of since Mario is Missing doesn't appear anywhere else.
After... that, Luigi looked down the whole and then jumped over it, with no expression on his face. Then again, the sprites never had expressions to begin with, but that ruins the shock value, doesn't it?
Luigi walked over to a nearby castle and knocked on the front door. The door creaked open, and surprise surprise, Bowser popped his head out. "Hey Green Mario, did you kill him?" a text box appeared under the Bowser head sprite.
"Yes Bowser-senpai, I did."
I was utterly shocked by these two quotes. First of all, Luigi is working for Bowser. And now... LUIGI IS NOT GREEN MARIO GEEZ!!
Luigi continued speaking. "However, I still need to kill the rest of the Mushroom Kingdom."
"Yes, you do. Go now, and take your brethren."
The screen rumbled as hundreds of Luigis flooded out of Bowser's castle. The Luigis ran through the tundra, and soon they were through the desert, city, and grasslands. They had already reached Peach's castle.
The green-dressed men stormed through the doors and stomped on poor Toads. They separated and went through each room, killing Toads galore. One Luigi finally found Peach, but instead of jumping on her, he bit her on the head.
Peach covered her face, then ripped her hands away. "I'm-a Luigi!" she said in a Luigi voice. Instead of her normal face, Peach had Luigi's face. Soon her body was a Luigi body.
She followed all of the other Luigis to Bowser's castle. "Good job," he said. "Now I'll throw you clones in the inferno with the real Luigi." I don't really understand why Bowser said that out loud, but he angered the Luigi clones. They all crowded around the turtle where he wasn't visible. When they separated a Luigi took Bowser's place.
"What do we do now?" one Luigi asked.
"Let's take over another world!" Another said.
I turned off the SNES. As interesting as that game was, it was too weird for my tastes. I turned on my TV. Some boring news channel was on. I was about to change the channel when a man screamed. A Luigi was on screen, biting the man's head. That news man became a Luigi.
I changed to another channel, where another man became a Luigi. Every live newschannel, someone became a Luigi. Then I heard a loud bang of my front door shutting. A Luigi came in.
"Join us," he said.
I thought about this. All my life I thought about being in a video game, a lovely, fun world. Then I thought how I could become my favorite video game character ever. Would it be worth it?
"Yeah, I guess," I said, "What could go wrong?"
Epilogue
Today I am a Luigi. Everyone is a Luigi. You are a Luigi. Your mother is a Luigi. Your dog is a Luigi. Do you have a happy life? You are probably a Luigi. Do you have a terrible life? Don't worry, we'll find you soon. Soon you'll have the greatest life ever.
There are no longer Mario games, but Luigi games. Not one of them is educational. Besides, Mario is die. All of our games are Luigi games. In every game you suck up ghosts.
All our movies are Ghostbusters, but the whole cast is Luigi.
BasicallyeverythingisLuigitheend.
Written by Roadkilled Squirrel
Content is available under CC BY-SA
| Comments • 0 |
Loading comments...
|
