The Piss

HEY THERE, MY NAME IS DAVID AND I AM WRITING DOWN THE STRANGE OCCURRENCES THAT I'VE BEEN DEALING WITH LATELY IN MY NEW APARTMENT. A LOT OF STRANGE THINGS HAVE HAPPENED BUT FOR STARTERS I'LL TALK ABOUT THE MOST CONCERNING ONE, THE PISS. I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT WHEN I TOOK A LEAK IN THE BATHROOM LAST THURSDAY THE PEE TURNED INTO A DISTURBING CRIMSON COLOR ONCE IT HIT THE TOILET BOWL, I WAS CONFUSED SO I ENDED UP CALLING A PLUMBER THE NEXT DAY. BEFORE I TELL YOU ANYMORE YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS, I LIVE IN A VERY SMALL TOWN AND MOST PEOPLE KNOW EACH OTHER OR KNOW THERE FAMILIES, SO WHEN I NEEDED A PLUMBER I KNEW ALREADY THAT MY COUSINS FRIEND NICK WAS A PLUMBER AND SO I HIRED HIM TO CHECK IT OUT. I ONLY LEFT FOR A MINUTE TO GET MY PHONE FROM MY CAR AND WHEN I RETURNED I SAW NICK AND HE LOOKED ODD. NICK'S EYES SEEMED BIGGER THAN USUAL, NOT UNREALISTICALLY HUGE BUT TO THE POINT WHERE IT WAS SOMEWHAT UNNERVING, "WHAT'S WRONG NICK" I ASKED, HE TURNED TO ME AND BEGAN SPEAKING, I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT HE SAID TO ME, THE SENTENCE HE SPOKE HAS HAUNTED ME ALL WEEK AND I TRULY BELIEVE I AM BEGINNING TO LOSE MY SANITY BECAUSE OF THIS HORRIFIC THING HE UTTERED. I WILL TELL YOU WHAT HE SAID, NOT BECAUSE I WANT TO BUT TO DOCUMENT THIS AWFUL CURSE I HAVE BESTOWED UPON ME, THIS FOUL THING THAT HAS CAUSED ME NOTHING BUT TRUE AGONIZING PAIN. WHAT NICK SAID TO ME CHANGED ME IN A WAY I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD BE. NICK SAID TO ME IN A COLD, EVIL VOICE "GET FREE WIFI ANYWHERE YOU GO!"

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Credited to Beanz8599 

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