The Pit of Orphans

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They say somewhere in the USA is a pauper's grave filled with the most unfortunate children to have ever lived. These are children that had their loving parents killed by unfortunate circumstances and were left to be relentlessly bullied by the world. One day several of these children decided to come together to form a pact. Before they died they would state in their will that they wanted to be buried in a specific pauper's grave.

These children would die very soon right after making the pact because they were that unfortunate. Through reasons not well explained as the writer has no idea how the legal system worked in the 1900's in regards to last wishes in wills, the authorities made extra sure each child's body was shoved unceremoniously into a single mass grave reserved for unloved and otherwise unremarkable people of low income status.

Little did everyone else in this story's time period know that the children made a pact with one of the spookiest and edgiest of fiends. The Bladesmith. This aberrant horror took the form of a bishounen man with knives sticking out of various parts of his body. He is often seen picking bits of human flesh out of his teeth with the knife that normally sticks out of his left eye.

The Bladesmith promised the children vengeance on the world that wronged them provided they left him their souls in their will.

However the fiend didn't have to do much to fulfill his end of the bargain as every person who was mean to the orphans contacted the usual run of the mill tuberculosis like most people did back than. The fiend cracked rude jokes and mocked the deceased during their funerals. Anyone who objected got their eyes stabbed out.

After every mean person in the orphan's lives died the Bladesmith revived the orphans to become his undead goffic crew.

This where we must warn parents and teachers to be on the lookout for goth kids dressed like chimney sweepers and one really cute guy who's got knives sticking out of his body. The Bladesmith and his crew are undead edgy awesome menaces who also peddle drugs. Warn your children about the risks of taking drugs and joining pacts with effeminate immortal edgy bad boys. It will never end well and he really just wants your soul not your heart.

More importantly he dropped out of law school to engage in hooliganism. Meaning he sets a very bad example to young people.

Wait. "The Pit of Orphans"? How do they fit in here? Well that's the band they formed that's really awful trashy metal stuff that promotes very unchristian values.



Credited to Opera_Omnia 

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