The Pretty Cake Room

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On Friday the 13th, find a steel door and paint an inverted crucifix on it with lamb's blood; then knock. Put your ear to the door, and listen; within 30 seconds, you should hear someone ask, "Who sent you?" to which you must reply, "Brian Peppers." (If you hear anything else, or something you can't quite make out, or hear nothing within 30 seconds, turn in a clockwise direction to face the south, and yell "BUM DARTS" at the top of your lungs; then quickly leave.) The door will then open in the opposite direction its hinges go, revealing a stunning white light, which will fade in 3.14 seconds. If you are timely in stepping over the threshold, you will find yourself standing in a kitchen with no doors or windows; even the door you came through will be gone, replaced by a wall. In the kitchen there will be an oven, cupboards stuffed with ingredients, and cooking implements laid neatly on a wooden prep table, along with an open cookbook. The most important thing is the cookbook. You must do the cooking by the book. Flip to the recipe named "Pretty Cake," if not there already (under no circumstances use the one with the title "Messy Recipe"). Do exactly as the cookbook instructs, following its directions to the letter. A song will be playing loudly, repetitively, to remind you of the importance of following the cookbook, and reassuring you that it's a piece of cake. If you are successful, you will have a cake. If you fail, you will have to eat what comes out of the oven; whatever it is will not be pretty, or in any way resemble a cake. Before you are released from this room, two conditions must be met: The thing you have made must be completely eaten, and everything must be restored to the exact state it was in when you got there. If anything is the smallest atom out of place, you will be denied exit. The song also never stops playing.

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