The Simpsons: Hit & Run Joke Story

My name is Andy Totino and this is the story of a time I was really sacred. It all started when I was 12 years old, back in the summer of 2006. I had all my classmates over at my birthday party and we were sitting in the backyard, I grabbed one of the presents, it was from Tooper, he was one of my many classmates that I adored with every white blood cell in my body, I tore the wrapping paper from the present and I was shocked to see an accurate replica of Bart Simpsons slingshot, "Holy smokes"! I yelped with glee. "Thanks a bunch Tooper" I bellowed with salty tears streaming down my soft white cheeks. "Don't have a cow man" said Beuford, the class bully. I reached for the nearest stone and shot him in the jugular with relative ease, Beuford rose from the ground and grabbed my shoulders, "wrong move butthead" he chuckled as he proceeded to knock me out cold with one sweep of his large mountainous muscle arm. I woke up later that evening in my bed with an ice pack on my throbbing forehead. "Mother, Father"? I yelled "Are you here". I got up and searched the house, nothing. All I found was a box in front of my television labled Andy. I ripped it open to find a copy of The Simpsons hit and run for the playstation 2. I yelped with joy and slid the sleek shiny disk into the gaystation. I saw Homer Simpson and the others appear on screen and I could feel my knees quiver with delight. I hit play and the game started, A white screen appeared, Homer walked into frame with his signature pink sprinkled donut, I felt my heart beating extremely loud as he slowly walked closer to the screen staring at me almost as if he could see me, "Come on in" Homer said, except it didn't sound like homer, it slightly resembled Dan Schneider, creator of Icarly and many other Nickelodeon hit Tv shows. Come on in? What could that mean? I reached my finger towards the screen, hands quivering, teeth chattering. My finger didn't make contact with the screen, it went all the way through. I continued to slide my hand, then my arm, then my head and the rest of my body through the screen and I slowly walked towards Homer J Simpson. "Would you like to come meet the family Andy?" Homer asked, "Boy would I"! I exclaimed. We walked around the bright white corner to see the Simpsons house with Santas little helper chained up in the front. We walked up the front porch and he let me inside, Bart Simpson ran down the staircase and greeted me. "Whats up dude" he said, he went in for a hug, like he knew me. I couldn't turn down a hug from Bart Simpson so I hugged him back. Marge walked out from the Kitchen with a large glass of blue Gatorade with a sliced lime on the edge. "Andy, its been a while" Marge said excited. What is she talking about, I thought. Grampa Simpson shook my hand and smiled. The other two characters were there too but I don't remember what they said. "Would you like to see our family project"? Homer said. "Sure thing" I said, feeling a little uneasy. The family led me to they're basement, when we got to the bottom of the steps they all sat in a circle and joined hands, "Wont you join us"? Lisa said. I really didn't want to, "come on Andy" Marge said, I backed towards the door fearing the worst. "Its locked" Homer said in a stern and serious tone. "Join hands with us, now" Homer stared at me. I reluctantly joined hands in the circle. But then they started to chant and a pentagram of blood was drawn in the center of the circle. "BAGA BOOGOO BEEGEE BEE, WE SURE LOVE YOU AA-AANDY". The chanting was then muffled by the blood that started oozing from their mouths and eyes. These weren't the Simpsons I have come to know and love these were monsters. I knew I had to try to escape, I ran for the door and kicked it open with pure adrenaline and dove back through the screen. I then broke the disc in half and fell on the ground gasping for air. My parents came through the door "Mom, dad where were you guys"?! I yelled. "What are you doing up this late, go to bed now"!!!. He then threw a half empty bottle of rum at my already throbbing head.

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