The Skyrim Theory

Sometimes you often wonder how The Elder Scrolls theory came to be, well if yiu look into Skyrim's files you may find that what uou are looking for...while looking through you might find a file called "illuminati.exe" or other things like "openupbaby.exe" its really oddd when you think about it. i opened the "illuminati.exe" first. all it showed was a jpeg of a triangle. but it came with a note that said to drop it in with the skyrim maps. so i said like, okay. and a portal opned up in Skyrim.

i jumped inside and eimmeidatly regurgitated this decision of maximun proportionos. it tok me to illuminati land. i was forced to fight 1,000 and 1,000 of enemimes when i finaslly reached the end i saw him...it was pyramid head from the silent hill series. he was level 666 he was so fucking oh pee. but i had a cheat. this cheat gave me unlimited ammo. i took out my AK-69 and blew a hole in his fucking head this caused massive damage rendering him unable to do anyrthing. so i kept loading him up with bullet until he dieded. i looted his body and he jhad a letter. it was called "death.exe" and it was written in pixilated blood. when i opened it it had the effects of an elder scrol where it took me back in time and showed me how the illumintitties were created.

this creeped me out beyond recogintion. when it closed a new quest started that said "look behind u". rthis made me loose my fucking mind and i quickly ran away without looking behind myself. i could hear something running right behind me. i couldnt take it anymore i looked behind me and just swung my sword it went into an insta-kill animiation. it was just lydia. stupid bitch. i was taking all my stuff back i gave her but then she had a note. when i uponed it the most fucked up thing happened. the letters were writted in shit and it said "u must kil da illuminati". once u think about it this means that lydia wasn't working with u or the illuminati. or she wassn't even part of skyrim. she was a real p[ersojnn that tried to kill the illuminatri. and the illuminati didnt originate in real life but in elder scrolls games and are currently living in skyrim. i know what i must do.

i searched everywhere seraching for these bastards. when all of a dudden i looked behind me and got slapped in the face with a 12 inch cock. my character was cocked out. when all of a sudden he awoke in adark cave. it was the illuminatios resting place. i knew it. i saw a bunch of bodies al over the place and it really fucking scraed me but i had to keep going when all 0f a sdudeen my tv and xbox turned off. my power went out. i was alone in my room and i couldnt find the door kno to get out. i had a feeling i was being watched. my hands were swetting at this point. it made the door knob all wet. when all of a sudden i looked up. it wasn't the door knob but a penis. the penis of an illunminati member. i quickly searched for my for my large pocket knife my dad gave me. i found it and started stabbing away at the illuminbati member. he fell down ded and his body started emmiting a loud screeching noise that made my ears bleed he was sending off a singol to all the other illuminati biitches. i kept tryong to make his body stip making the noise and b4 he died he said "u wil never kil us all. we r ur family. we r ur friend-" something shot him rite there. in the head. i looked over to see who shot him. it was sanic. this made me shit myseelf. he said "good days will cuim to u if u say thx mr sanic"". so i said "thx mister sanic". and he vanished. i think it was ovr. later on i found out he was the last remaining illumin ati member. so thats my story all about how my life got fucked upside down.

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