The Slipknot Xbox 360 Game
Hello, My name is Joe Swanson. I live in Rhode Island with my wife Bonnie, my daughter Susie, and my son Kevin. Kevin is in the Military currently fighting in the war. I am the only handicapped local police officer in Quahog, I catch criminals and take them to jail. just like a normal police officer does. But what is unusual about Me, being the person that I am. I am a big fan of Slipknot. A really popular heavy metal band that was formed in the mid 1990's by a fellow named Corey Taylor, I turned the news station on. local news anchor Tom Tucker said that a flea market is in town for a few days.
Tom Tucker said quote "Local Spooner Street resident Glenn Quagmire is at the flea market selling some music CDs, Xbox 360 games, and other kinds of stuff that Quagmire likes" his co-anchor Joyce Kinney said "I'm not going to say what he likes; Let's just leave it out of the news."
I then told my wife Bonnie about the flea market. Bonnie said out of the blue "Joe, I don't care what you do, just go to the Flea Market" I drove to the flea market with my change that I saved up over the years. I then looked around to see if I can find Quagmire, I saw three very interesting people at this flea market. One of the people that was selling some Modified and Jailbroken Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 consoles was an incubus named Seth, and beside him was a certain character I recognized immediately, it was none other than Bowsette. Right by Seth and Bowsette's stand, there was a certain character selling Anime, and Manga, That "certain" character was Ultra Instinct Shaggy, and beside him was his sidekick Ultra Instinct Scooby Doo. the last person by Ultra Instinct Shaggy's stand. was a very out of place character for a flea market. It was Rayne from the "BloodRayne" series. She was selling some rare video game memorabilia like a WWE SmackDown VS. Raw 2009 Limited Collector's Edition Ring, and an Xbox Launch Team Original Xbox console. I was amazed at how many things there were at this flea market.
I had to find Quagmire before the Flea Market closes. It was getting very late,
I saw a security guard right near the entrance to the Flea Market. I asked the security guard that is guarding the Flea Market about Quagmire's location in the Flea Market stands. I introduced my name as "Joe Swanson" I told him I'm a good friend of Quagmire's. the "security guard" told me that Quagmire is the very last stand right by the game store that's in the middle of the Flea Market. Before he left for the day. the security guard and I shook hands, and he introduced himself as John Wick. We then said our goodbyes and we parted ways. I then saw Quagmire "selling" something to a customer which the customer was a character named Evil Rose from the very obscure PlayStation 2 Video Game "Rumble Roses" When Evil Rose left, I asked Quagmire what does he have for sale at the Flea Market. Quagmire was very surprised to see me at the Flea Market, Quagmire then said, "Giggity Giggity Goo, I got all kinds of stuff for you Joe!" I asked Quagmire if he had any Slipknot related Merchandise. Quagmire then opened a box full of Movies, Video Games, Music Albums, and Consoles. There was a section for famous movie franchises and trilogies with different names on the cover. (Most of them were in Russian, some of them were in German, and some of them had very unrecognizable wording on them that I couldn't even read. I asked Quagmire where did he get these DVD's, Video Games, Music, and Consoles from. He claimed he got them at a shop location somewhere in the northern United States. But he wouldn't tell me where the shop is located. I then saw an Xbox 360 logo sticking out of one of the boxes, I opened the box, and what was inside the box was one of the coolest things that I ever saw. There was Xbox 360 exclusive games from rock bands like, Breaking Benjamin, Disturbed, Type-0 Negative, Three Days Grace, and many more bands that I never even heard of before. One of the Xbox 360 games that I saw was a "Slipknot Xbox 360 game" I then asked Quagmire how much the Slipknot game was. Quagmire said it was 10 U.S. dollars. Since the game was not opened. since he got them at the quote on quote "Shop Location" a couple of days ago. I gave him the 10 dollars that he wanted, and Quagmire even gave me a plastic bag for the game. I thanked Quagmire for the Xbox 360 Slipknot Game. When I got home. I saw that Bonnie, and Susie were not in the house. I looked everywhere. I turned on my Xbox 360 that I had since launch date. That still surprisingly worked after all these years. I just remembered that I brought home the "Slipknot Video Game" from the Flea Market later this evening. I decided it would be a good idea to well, play the Slipknot game of course. I then opened the bag that Quagmire gave me. And what I saw on the cover made my jaw drop. It was a full database of Slipknot songs, and some weren't even released to the public yet. Now here's where it gets... well. Crazy. I put the game disc of the Slipknot game into the disc tray, and I pressed "Close Tray" on the "Xbox 360 Dashboard" It read the disc for about a damn full five minutes. Until it finally launched the game. I was then greeted with something really weird and well... bizarre. It suddenly cut to a clip of Oboro, yes that's right Oboro from a certain series that I'm not going to talk about for obvious reasons. Oboro in the style of the series was wearing American underwear, an American flag styled Bikini, black boots and she was on a black background dancing very suggestively to the viewer and shaking her huge ass while "DOTA" by BassHunter was playing in the background. I was weirded out by what I saw. since I have a wife and I don't want to cheat on her with an animated character, let alone a character with a character that's chaotic, and narcissistic as Oboro. After that weird scene played, It then cut to a live action version of the freeware fighting game engine called "MUGEN" with a matchup of Chuck Norris VS. Dark Donald.
Yes, the Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris, which people compare him to a god,
And Dark Donald, A darker and more brutal version of Ronald McDonald. (I wonder why Ronald McDonald got so "dark" in the first place) When round one started after the announcer said "fight" Things went very chaotic in a matter of seconds. When the battle finally started. the songs "It's the end of the world as we know it" by "R.E.M" and "The Final Countdown" by "Europe" was playing in the background. (It was a pretty fitting soundtrack for the fight I'm not going to lie) Chuck and Dark Donald were fighting like angry mythological gods fighting against one another. They were throwing everything at each other, Dark Donald was throwing black tinted fries, a black tinted apple bomb, and hell, even a damn burger king bomb. But Chuck did even more damage than Dark Donald, Chuck threw knives up in the air, threw hand grenades, ran at full speed, stopped time, and even threw the fucking sun onto Dark Donald causing nine hundred and ninety-nine points worth of damage to Dark Donald. luckily, Chuck managed to defeat Dark Donald in round 1, and boy oh boy, I wasn't ready for round 2. Round 2 started with a fucking jump scare made by Dark Donald to scare Chuck Norris, but that wasn't enough for Chuck... he then launched I'm not joking with you when I'm saying this. a fucking nuke that instantly killed Dark Donald in a matter of seconds. What came next was actually quite shocking. It cut to a clip of a kid getting tucked in bed by his parents. Sound asleep. When his parents left the room. the peaceful music from the scary car commercial was playing in his parents living room. When the peaceful music from the scary car commercial suddenly stopped... the zombie that popped up at the end was screaming so fucking loud that it shook the whole house, causing mirrors, tables, and even the kid's bed to fully knock over and almost knocked the kid out cold. it switched to the kid's point of perspective view when he woke up. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the scary car commercial zombie jump scared the kid while he woke from his nearly knocked out state. the kid saw the scary car commercial zombie screaming, I'm not even joking with you when I'm saying this. the kid got so mad, that he turned into Ryu from Street Fighter. quote on quote "Ryu" did a "Shoryuken" on the scary car commercial zombie square in the jaw so hard. Causing the zombie to go flying out of the window, shattering the glass in the process, falling off the balcony, hitting railings, falling six hundred feet down, onto the pavement, and getting hit by an incoming car, killing him in the process. (I don't blame Ryu for trying to defend his parents from that zombie.) what came next, had me questioning my own mental state at this point.
It panned outside a pool with I assume was a mansion of some kind? Seth and Bowsette from the "flea market" I went to earlier were "making out" at their own pool.
It switched to someone looking at the quote on quote "lovers" in binoculars. And when the person put down his binoculars it was my damn friend Quagmire. Quagmire then said, (Giggity Giggity Goo. I'm glad I got to look at you two!) It then cut to Haydee from the "Steam" game of the same name playing "Mortal Kombat Project" on her computer. I'm not joking when I'm about to say this but, her huge robot ass was sticking out of her chair. she then chooses a character on the character select screen by the name of, "Seth the Incubus" that I saw earlier at the "flea market" What the hell is this?! This has nothing to do with Slipknot?! I knew Quagmire was a big pervert, but I didn't know he was doing that stuff behind our backs. After all those weird, disturbing, and obscene clips played. My Xbox 360 that I had since launch date. had the infamous Red Ring of Death. I was furious, angry, and upset, I then contacted the Slipknot's lead singer "Corey Taylor" on the phone. when he answered the phone, I was furious and I demanded what is the meaning of the Slipknot Xbox 360 video game? He said he doesn't know what I am talking about. when I mentioned that Quagmire that sold the game to me at the "Flea Market." He stayed silent on the other end for 5 seconds, Corey then said to me that he would take care of it. I opened the disc tray to my launch date Xbox 360, the game was still in perfect condition from when I bought it from Quagmire at the "Flea Market" I put it back in the case, put it in the bag, and sealed the bag. I heard a knock on the door, When I opened the door. It was Doom Guy from the "DOOM" series, and The Punisher from "Marvel Comics" The Punisher Said that him and Doom Guy are undercover FBI agents looking for someone in Spooner Street. The Punisher asked me if I knew a resident here in Spooner Street that is named "Glenn Quagmire" I said yes. The Punisher then said that the FBI had a lot of complaints about Quagmire selling very disturbing pirated material at the local "Flea Market" One of the people that complained to the FBI was the band Slipknot's lead singer "Corey Taylor" Corey said that a pirated copy of his music was made without his permission, and that some of his songs that were unreleased at the time were leaked. when he was told by someone on the phone that there wasn't any of his music on the pirated material. But instead, there was very weird things on the material that wasn't supposed to be there, he asked for an investigation on Quagmire and where he got the pirated goods from. And that's what lead Doom Guy and The Punisher here to ask anyone in Spooner Street any questions. That's when I gave the "Slipknot Xbox 360 game" to the two undercover agents. The Punisher then placed the quote on quote "game" in an evidence bag. The Punisher then said, "thank you" him and Doom Guy left my house and headed over to Quagmire's house.
I saw The Punisher and Doom Guy trying to kick down Quagmire's door. (Like that video of the Spanish SWAT team trying to break open a door to a person's apartment) And I hid in fear of Quagmire seeing me.
I peeked outside my window and I saw Quagmire in handcuffs being dragged out of his house by Doom Guy and The Punisher. They hauled him in their unmarked FBI car which looked like a normal car. (Which I knew it was) Bonnie and Susie finally came back. Bonnie told me how sorry she was for speaking to me like that. I accepted her apology. and I finally got some peace and quiet for tonight. Two days passed by, I received an email from "Mayor Wild Wild West." He said this in the email "Hi Mr. Swanson, it's Quahog's new mayor, Mayor Wild Wild West. I want to thank you for helping us solving the "pirating" issue in Quahog. You have done a very good deed for us. In honor of doing this good deed. You are invited to the Town Hall for a party made just for you, be sure to be here at 9:30 PM tonight. You don't want to miss it! Yours Truly, Mayor Wild Wild West.
I told Bonnie about the party that's happening tonight that was planned for me. She loved that I did a very good deed for our town. We then drove to the party at 9:30 PM. We saw a lot of guests there waiting for us, The guests were that of, Seth The Incubus, Bowsette, Ultra Instinct Shaggy, Ultra Instinct Scooby, Rayne, John Wick, Evil Rose, Oboro, Chuck Norris, Dark Donald, Ryu, Corey Taylor, (and the rest of the Slipknot crew) Haydee, Doom Guy, The Punisher, (real name is Frank Castle) and a few other guests that I recognized from being at the "Flea Market" that day that I forgot to mention. Their names were Kung Fu Man, Kung Fu Girl, Rick Taylor, and a couple of friends like The Queen of Lions, CJLeeboy64, Meet Billy, The Dark Author, SirHorror, The Sebastian, and none other than Diamond Rebel Productions himself. Mayor Wild Wild West and everyone celebrated my good deed. We had cake, ice cream, pizza, we even had an Xbox and PlayStation tournament. The winners of the tournament on the Xbox side were, Seth the Incubus at 1st Place, John Wick at 2nd Place and 3rd Place, goes to Ultra Instinct Shaggy. On the PlayStation side were, Bowsette at 1st Place, Rayne at 2nd Place, and Evil Rose at 3rd Place. After the party was over. we all exchanged contact info and phone numbers.
"Do Good for Others, it will come back in unexpected ways." -Anonymous
Credited to Seth Bayona
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