The Sloshed Train Driver
Can a man's soul be contained in an inanimate object? It seems so, as that's what happened to me. I should start from the beginning, however.
One day, I was very distraught at the amount of trolls and bronies on the Internet. I just told them to fuck off, all of them. I guess I was feeding them, but I didn't care, they made horrid crappypasta and I wanted to speak my mind. One of the trolls took a shot at my ego, and it worked. I was crushed, my life started falling apart, and I slowly became an alcoholic.
A few days later, after my life was crumbling I went to my job as a train driver, however, I was sloshed at the time, and made it crash. What a fool I was. When it crashed, it split in two. I saw the bits of shrapnel flying through the air in slow-motion, as if time had stopped, just for me to watch myself die, all the more slowly. First, a shard of glass lodged into my eye, the pain was excruciating. Second, a piece of the track impaled my liver, which was probably yellow by now, but it still hurt like hell. Third, a flying piece of metal from the wheels crushed my skull. I was going to die. Everything faded to black.
I awoke several days later, in a daze. I was confused "Why am I living? Where am I?" I shouted into the dark room. I couldn't make out many details besides the boring looking gray bed, and the metallic floor covered in loose wires. I heard a voice from the darkness "Ahh, I see that you've awoken," it said. The lights turned on. I was in some sort of large warehouse, with strange machines and stones covered in runes. The strange voice didn't show its body, however and said "You see, we just did the impossible. By saving you, we've combined technology and magic." And then I realized. I felt the back of my head. It was metal...
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Credited to AlixeTiir
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