The Staircase
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NSFW WARNING
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A little backstory; My uncle Gary died at the height of the autoerotic asphyxiation craze. He was old as hell and super gnarly. He swore he would live forever. But his super long life (he was 104 years old) was cut short when he confused his Viagra prescription with his Ambien and fell asleep pulling on himself (May he rest in peace)
So anyways about a week after the funeral I'm taking a shower and I hear the door squeak open. "Mom?" I say, "Is that you?" All I hear in response is Fapfapfapfapfapfapfap. "Wtf" I whisper under my breath as it begins to get closer and closer. Now my bathroom is a normal bathroom. I'm not some filthy rich tons of money dude who can afford an escape hatch in his shower for when his dead uncle comes jacking back from the dead so there is only one way in and one way out of this bathroom, and it's in the direction of the dead serial jacker.
So i decide I have to take matters into my own hands (pardon the expression) I slowly reach for the curtain, fully expecting to see the ghost of uncle Gary fap fap fapping away with a belt around his neck, and too my surprise, I pull back the curtain and it's my uncle JERRY fapping away (he's not dead, just gross). "Sorry Junior," he said. "I thought you were your cousin Angelina Jolie (sorry, not to name drop but Angie is my cousin)
"Dammit uncle Jerry, you scared the hell out of me." I said, shoving his old naked ass shriveled up body out of the way, through the bathroom doorway and totally forgetting there was a staircase behind him.
Now I have two uncles haunting me
Credited to grghbbs
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