Rick and Morty: The True Story

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It's just a joke, bro!!

The following page may contain outlandish humor regarding certain public figures/companies. The content of this website is purely fictional and satirical; what is presented in this story is false. Thus this should not be taken seriously whatsoever.

Introduction:

I'm one of those weird guys the internet makes fun of for idolizing Rick Sanchez. The haters don't understand the character, let alone the show, and I mean that unironically. In fact, Rick and Morty is the reason why I dropped out of college. because in the end, all of it will be pointless. I'm too smart for them anyway. So I put all my technician and science skills I've accumulated over the years into building a device that can communicate with alternative realities. Don't ask how I got the technology for this, but let's say I know a disgruntled intern at NASA. How it works is, you feed this machine an AI about a certain subject (could be a person, TV show, what have you) and it will find a version of that subject that exists in an alternative reality (or "dimensions", as Rick would say). This other reality in all likelihood will have people/characters from this world that do the same things in a slightly different way.

The first subject I tested with the machine was Rick and Morty, obviously. I fed extensive information about Rick and Morty to a highly trained algorithm for 2 weeks, which ended up being 4TB in size. I uploaded this data to the machine's servers, and within a week, the machine reported back an alternative version of Rick and Morty that exists on Earth-29B00000, which is the closest possible alternative timeline to ours. The farther away the timeline, the weirder it gets. So I'm curious to see the results the machine reported.

All of what you're about to hear is true. The people living in that alternative timeline are experiencing this reality right now. Just keep that in mind.

The Machine's Findings:

In 2012, Jon Stewart, creator of The Daily Show, came up with the idea of a cartoon based around a grandfather and grandson going on weird space adventures. Dan Harmon and his longtime friend Justin Roiland overheard Stewart's idea and quickly pitched the idea of the show to Adult Swim without Stewart's knowledge. The show was rushed into production and in December 2013, Rick and Morty had its premiere on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. It was met with heavy criticism for being racist, pornographic, and just outright bad. The show only got worse in quality as the season went on, with many critics claiming it to be the worst show on television. Worse than that, the show had an insane controversy that would rival the likes of tyrants, the mass slaughter of whales, and the apocalypse.

It all started in September 2015, when Rick and Morty was nominated for an Emmy, a most prestigious award. The nomination caused a shitstorm in the entertainment industry, with a protest being held against the inclusion of what was seen as a joke show. A famous celebrity walked up on stage and angrily claimed that voting for Rick and Morty would be a waste of the public's time. Rick and Morty was panned by critics and fans alike for its poor writing, bad characterization, terrible jokes, bad attempts at being "edgy" and most of all, sociopathic sociopathy. It was such a disappointment that a mass protest was held against Rick and Morty's nomination, and several people vowed to never watch the show or vote for it no matter what. That protest was called the "Nemmar Massacre", and it lead to several deaths, mainly due to the protesters dying of heat exhaustion in the sweltering California heat. Despite this, Rick and Morty managed to win the Emmy that year for... "Worst TV Show" (It's the first and last time it ever won the award).

Rick and Morty's nomination caused a lot of backlash against this show, with critics claiming that it was unmitigated garbage that had no artistic or moral ramifications. The more intelligent of R&M's fanbase started claiming that it was all a conspiracy to prevent a work of art with sociopathic undertones from winning. A vocal minority within the fanbase lead to the creation of the "Murder Media" movement, a group of insane fans that threatened to kill everyone connected with the Emmy award. They attempted burning down the Emmy headquarters, but the group was soon arrested... Public reaction to the show only worsened. A journalist was attacked on the street for wearing a Rick and Morty shirt, and a Hip Hop group calling themselves "Downygea" started releasing music videos and performing Rick and Morty's songs at concerts, rallying people to flood the streets playing these songs to bring awareness to the show and fight back against the media slander.

Despite these efforts, Rick and Morty's rating fell to an all-time low of 0.3 Nelsen rating. One episode that aired was so bad it had to be pulled halfway during its airing, leaving the rest of the episode to become lost media. The episode began with Morty's parents getting divorced, before leading into a storyline about Rick falling in love with a sentient laser-firing raygun. This and the tragic events at the Emmys weren't enough to kill the show, but several other scandals involving Rick and Morty's production were soon uncovered. Justin Roiland was harassed constantly by fans, who made his life miserable on a personal level. Several other staff were also harassed in some way. All of this caused Dan Harmon of all people to hire a stunt double and fake a suicide so the fans would leave him alone. A series of increasingly terrifying messages were left on the stunt double's webcam pleading for someone to help him. The web video was broadcasted on Adult Swim's YouTube page, with a notice saying: "This is not a joke. This man killed himself."

Rick and Morty was at the center of several other scandals, with each new revelation destroying the show's reputation even further. An old man from Washington was found guilty of leaking Rick and Morty plots online for profit, and the court ruled the to-be-paid writers a total of $15 million in damages. However, the due was never paid and the troubles with the show didn't end there. Adult Swim threatened to cancel the program unless the Rick and Morty production company made cuts to their wages. The writers had no choice but to comply, with most of them losing their jobs and being broke a year later. They worked 20 hour workdays and about a dozen of them lived at the studio, going weeks without showering and resorted to eating instant noodles as their primary meal. Staff members would be covered with their own waste due to a lack of hygiene products, and the entire building has no air conditioning. Because of this, the building was basically a human baking oven with average temperatures of 95 - 111 degrees fahrenheit.

Due to the horrid working conditions, the second season of the show was plagued with animation errors and sound issues. Episodes would air without audio or would be missing important scenes. Rushed and unfinished episodes were aired, with most of the voice acting being done by amateur actors reading the lines phonetically. One episode accidentally had weeks of work erased from the animation when the DVD master had data from a previous episode written over it. This episode had to be scrapped, leading to Season 2 airing with only 9 episodes. To make matters worse, the credit card information of several Adult Swim executives could be seen in the background of one scene taking place in a bank. This caused Adult Swim to halt production on the show completely, and Disney (who owns Warner Bros. in this timeline) threatened to pull all broadcast rights to the show if certain changes weren't made. These issues were eventually fixed, and the show was given the green light to continue.

While all of this was happening, protests across the nation erupted due to McDonald's having a shortage of special edition Rick and Morty Szechuan Sauce. This tragic event lead to the deaths of at least six people as they attempted to cross the street to get a sauce packet, and over 200 heart attacks were caused due to the sauce containing a toxic compound called "trans-artericholorthiosalmonate." This was a major factor in the 2016 presidential election, as both candidates made Szechuan sauce an election issue. Shortly after this, the highest-rated episode in the show's history, "Pickle Rick" was aired and viewed by over 35 million people on April Fool's Day of 2017. Despite this success, the episode came under heavy criticism by members of the farming community due to its depiction of the farming practice known as hydroponics, and was pulled from Netflix by Disney for being "too scary for young children." The episode also contained several slurs aimed at farmers, such as "farmboy", "goat bastard", and "bastard child of a whore and a mad pepper farmer."

For Super Bowl LII 2018, Adult Swim paid ESPN $6 million to have a monster truck made in the image of Rick Sanchez called "The Rickmobile" drive around the football field during the half-time show. This did not go according to plan. At 6:32 PM, when Tom Brady was in the outfield enabling a run to be scored, the self-driving Rickmobile headed straight for Tom Brady, crushing him. He was pronounced dead at the scene, causing Patriot fans and all Americans alike to become outraged that their idol had died such a meaningless and tragic death. However, a week later it was revealed Tom Brady had actually survived his injuries, which lead to fans rioting and protesting outside of the stadium where the incident took place. The Rickmobile was set alight, and the creators of Rick and Morty were forced to cancel future public appearances as they tried to repair the show's damaged reputation. But the efforts would be void, and things would only get worse.

In 2019, the show came under fire by governments in the Middle East due to the episode in which the Smith's family front door is replaced with a massive portal to an alternate dimension called "The Holy Door." Religious groups in the Middle East took this as an insult to the holy Kaaba, and the president of Afghanistan called for the international arrest warrant for the writers of the episode. One of the writers was Dan Harmon, which prompted him to leave the show and live alone in the mountainous outskirts of Switzerland. This controversy lead to low morale at the workplace and Adult Swim renewed the show for a final season, but it would only contain one episode and would take 1 year for it to air. Part of the reason for this was due to the Tom Brady lawsuit which caused the company to lose over $1 billion. Because of this, the show's final episode would only have a budget of $500,000.

The emotional, tear-jerking final episode of Rick and Morty was broadcasted live at the Super Bowl LIV 2020 half-time show. The episode was about Rick going back in time to kill his younger self so he doesn't live to become the sociopath he came to be. Morty doesn't want this to happen, because it will erase Rick from the timeline, leaving Morty without his best friend and grandfather. It received critical acclaim from fans for its intelligent, thought-provoking humor and some even claimed it changed their lives. However, viewers of the Super Bowl game were not happy with it at all, as the episode was over an hour in length and took precious time away from the intense game. This led to a small riot at a Best Buy in Los Angeles, which was quickly put down by the military. Adult Swim was then sued by twenty-three viewers at the Super Bowl game for emotional distress. One woman claims that Rick Sanchez's presence on screen gave her an intense panic attack because Rick reminded her of her abusive stepfather. Adult Swim paid out the viewers a settlement of $298,000, leading to the Adult Swim block on Cartoon Network to go off air until further notice.

Due to all the insane controversies that plagued the show, people who called themselves "Rick and Morty fans" receive weird looks in public and some countries vowed to ban passengers from their airways if they are seen wearing Rick and Morty merch. The show was banned in several more countries too, including Malaysia. As a response to this, Adult Swim released a game called Rick and Morty: Virtual Rick-Ality on Steam which received positive reviews from fans. The game poked fun at authoritarian governments for banning the show and it even showed a little bit of support for the Berlin wall coming down. Hackers soon realized the game could be used for intense Bitcoin mining opportunities, and the personal information of people who pre-ordered the game were found in the game's data. Countries such as China examined this information and banned everyone on the pre-order list from entering the country. Adult Swim was sued an additional $100,000 by eight users for emotional distress over the leak.

In 2031, Adult Swim celebrated their 30th anniversary by airing all episodes of Rick and Morty at the same time at 3 AM on every Channel 4 station in America. This led to a severe power outage that caused billions in damages, loss of refrigerated food, damage to the internet infrastructure, millions losing their jobs, and mass evacuations of Los Angeles and New York City. The US Government passed a bill that called for the destruction of the intellectual property of Rick and Morty and it would prevent anyone from using the show and its characters ever again. Right before the bill was passed, a strange video by Adult Swim was uploaded to YouTube called "The Rickening", which showed a broken Rick Sanchez wandering alone in a desert, muttering "I'm sorry... I'm a good person trapped in a bad person's body."

"Rick and Morty was the last straw that broke the camel's back. It was the trigger that caused everything to collapse. Thank god for the end of Rick and Morty, because before that, the human race was doing just fine." a notable journalist put.

Reaction:

Wow. So Rick and Morty became the most loathed show in Earth-29B00000's history. That's crazy. And here I thought the show was hated now... Man, am I glad I don't live in that timeline. The machine's findings have really opened my eyes. Before you complain about your life, realize that it could be much, much worse in an alternative timeline. Be thankful you're living in this timeline and not the one in which Rick and Morty is banned by world governments. This has changed me forever, and it will change you too. If you want a biography of your life in an alternative reality, message me.

You're next.

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