The Tyranny of SOMEGUY123 3: A Requiem for a Meme
Some nights I lay awake staring at my ceiling, wondering if I can ever escape the fate that has befallen me. This life, this cruel, cruel life, has driven me to the brink of madness. Yet I do not fall into the abyss, for I have one thing I must remedy before I leave this Earth. SOMEGUY123 must die.
I stood before the UN, nervous about what's to come. Sweat drips down my brow and I ask myself if I should really be there. The man working the projector gives me the thumbs up and I begin.
"Good morning ladies and gentlemen of the United Nations. My name is The Damn Batman, and I would like to talk to you today about a man- no, not a man... a monster whose existence threatens all of us. I am talking of course about SOMEGUY123. This man is the pinnacle of man's capacity for villainy. His cheshire grin, snake like tongue, and soulless eyes forever haunt my dreams. I'm sure you've all heard of the Great Meme War of 2016. Although many of you are too young to remember it, those who lived through it know the terror that SOMEGUY inspired. Many of you believed this man to be dead. Today I stand before you, a broken and aging man. I am merely a shadow of my former self. Nothing has filled me with as much determination as this moment. For, ladies and gentlemen, I have definitive proof that SOMEGUY123 is in fact alive and well." I paused.
Gasps were heard across the room. All eyes turned towards Greece's ambassador. The decrepit man removed his glasses with shaky hands. He then spoke up. His voice was hoarse and unsure. The translator quickly rephrased what he had said into English.
"What proof do you have that he is alive?"
I smiled, knowing that this was what I was here for. Behind me, the projector displayed a cage. Inside of that cage were two young children, each with a branding on their arms. The branding read "SOMEGUY'S DANK MEME FARM." Chaos ensued. Chairs were thrown, blows were exchanged, tears were shed, yet I remained dormant. I raised my cane in the air and slammed it to the ground. Now there was silence.
"Although, this is disturbing, we must stay vigilant. We must keep our calm in this time of chaos and disorder. If we are to survive this coming war, we must remain strong. Now, I propose that we-"
Before I could finish I heard a loud noise erupt from the roof. A stinging pain began in my breast. I pressed my hand against the wound as blood flowed through it. I looked towards the window and saw his face. SOMEGUY stood poised, holding a sniper rifle, looking exactly the same as the day I met him. I was then rushed to the hospital, where I have now recovered. Through, I was told some bad news. The bullet caused blood to clot in my brain. Within the next few days I will be dead. The Second Great Meme War has just began, but I do not care, for soon I will be dead. I am writing this down in order to preserve my records through time, to let future generations know of the horror that is SOMEGUY123. God help this Earth, for I fear the next Great Meme War will be fought with sticks and stones.
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Written by The Damn Batman
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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