The Untimely Death of Jeff the Killer

It was 5 minutes till midnight, Jeff the Killer was walking through the woods, trying to find his new victim. He had killed so many people that night, he might go back into his hideout. Suddenly he made it to a small log cabin.

Jeff: I guess I'll kill one more person for tonight. It's getting kind of late.

Jeff went into the cabin via the window. It was very small, with a mini fridge, sofa, TV, and a few deer heads mounted on walls.

Jeff: This is pathetic. I'll be doing him a favor killing him.

He made his way over to the bed. The blanket was covering the man's head, so Jeff couldn't see his face. Jeff thought this was an easy task. No one was around to hear their screams.

Jeff: Go to sleep

Jeff tried to stab the knife into their head, but it bent and fell off. The person had woken up. When he took the covers off, Jeff saw the face of none other than Chuck Norris.

Chuck: Looks like someone has a death wish

Jeff: Who are you?

Chuck: The name's Chuck Norris, but my friends call me GOD!

Jeff: Wait I didn't mean to kill you, my knife slipped!

Chuck: I know you, you're that Jeff the Killer guy. You've killed so many people, and now you're going to pay.

Chuck tried to punch Jeff, but he dodged just in time. Jeff ran out of the cabin. Chuck got his machine gun and pointed it at Jeff. In the street, Jeff dodged his bullets, Matrix style, and threw his broken knife hilt, which knocked the gun out of Chuck's hands. Meanwhile, Jane the Killer was looking for Jeff. Jane then saw him running towards her.

Jane: Ah there you are. I'm going to finally ki-

But before Jane could finish talking, she could see what he was running from. Behind him was none other than Chuck Norris.

Chuck: There's no point in running.

Jeff: Move Jane, I don't have time.

Jeff then tripped on a cinder block. He decided to hit Chuck with him. He raised it over his head, but Chuck had caught up with him.

Jane: JEFF, BEHIND YOU

Jeff turned around and ducked right before Chuck did his traditional round house kick. Jeff then hit Chuck on the head with the block. Chuck fell to the ground.

Jane: Is he dead?

Jeff: Yes, and so will you be!

Jane ran into the nearest house and hid into the closet. Jeff found the largest knife in the kitchen.

Jane: Why didn't I just let Chuck kill him?

Jeff: You are kind of stupid

Jeff then opened the closet and raised the knife. Unfortunately for Jeff, Chuck had gotten up, and went into the house. Chuck had grabbed Jeff from behind and thrown him into the wall.

Jeff: But how? I killed you!

Chuck: You must not understand. I don't die, Death had a near Chuck Norris experience!

Chuck then decided that he was done playing around. He hit Jeff with his fist from under his beard. Jeff was thrown through the wall and onto the pavement. Chuck then Round-House Kicked Jeff's head off. Jane then escaped. Her purpose was completed. Jeff was finally dead. Chuck went into his cabin and started waiting, for you see, Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

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