The Windows Laptop from 1953
So I was diggin trhou my granpa's closet because he died this morning of me strangling him. He live in a house in the country 2 miles away from Arkensaw, Kansas and I found a old box that was barryed in th ground that was dirt was dirt even dirt even tho he lived n a trailer park but had no naybors. anyway the box was opened to reaveal that ther was a laptop inside and i seen it was a vindows laptop from 1953 and it was in working condition and i seen that ther waas also a purple floopy disk wit "Ur Dead.exe" writen on it
i turnd th laptop on and it ran windows 98 and it said "Welcome to dead!" and i seen that there wher a lota documents and pictures on it from when my grandpa worked in a sadly old creepypasta theater and show movies like 'Naked Persos.jpeg" and "Dirty Movie.wmv" and I was like "hahaha he didn't have any movies of toy chika so his job pretty much sucked.
SO i was curious if he had any games and ther was a game called 87.exe and so i played the game that seemed 2 open in command prompt and it said "press the buttons on the keyboard to attack." It looked like this:
I pressed Y and it said "Hahaha ur dead! Please insert UR DEAD.EXE floppy disc to continue" i did and it said "thx" but then however the laptop shut down and rebooted and this time instead of Windows 98 it booted with Windows 53 and so i showed the screen and it had a message: "You have patronized the Patrixxx for the last time! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA (undertale refrence your welcome)" and I was like "Oh sweet it knows undertale!... but that wasn't invented till 2096... HOW COULD IT KNOW!?" my life crashed and i saw that the laptop had broken the 4th wall and reveal to me a mystery... I was NOT and alien like I had been in my dreams! But how was this possible!? NOO! anyway I mailed the laptop and the floppy disc to my frend so he could check it out so heres his side of the story:
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K dudes so there are like a ton of Patrixxxs in my house right now so this is gonna be quick k bros? SO yea, its spooky man! And also I have this thing where i don't like Patrixxxs in my house? So yeah? Why do I keep putting question marks man? Because you've gotta question everything in live bros? yeah that said I-
THIS IS THE PATRIXXX TYPING. DO NOT END UP LIKE THESE PITIFUL PATRONIZERS AND PATRONIZE ME OR MY WINDOWS LAPTOP FROM 1953. I WILL NOW SEND THE LAPTOP BACK TO YO MAMA'S ADRESS SO CAN GET BACK TO TYPING. AND, YES, HIS NAME IS ACTUALLY YO MAMA.
- PATRIXXX
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Hey guys so I got the laptop back in the mail and yeah... spooks man... spooks. Anyway i was wondering why my name is "Yo Mama"... I don't know... Oh, PS I was brutally murdered by the Evil Patrixxx so I'm pretty much dead at this point and I was like "No how could this happen to me brah?" and I was seen that i was dead all over my face. There was a little blood here and there and I seen that the blood spelled out "PATRIXXX" and I said "No that's not cleche at all" and then I went to my notebook and I was typed "Patrixxx" and i said "No!" and i seen that on the windows laptop it said "Patrixxx" and all 1 nanobyte of its memory was used up and I was all "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
I got a call on my phone and the person said "Patrixxx" and hung up. I turned on the news and it the newscaster said "Patrixxx" and it whent off. I saw that a movie was comming on called "Patrixxx" and they said "Patrixxx" and that was the end see they said it really slow so it was one hour of them saying "Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - well you get the point. I looked at the laptop screen and saw this:
I pressed controll alt delete and it said "Error: Patrixxx" I said "NO NOT MORE PLEASE K?!" and it said "Patrixxx" and i said "C'mon i seen that you can say other stuff!" a message box appeared that said "Patrixxx" with two button that said "Patrixxx" i clicked one and it said "CORRECT! died" the laptop was smoked and sparks came from it and it burnd to a crisp and i was "NOOO!!" but i got a knock on the door so i desided to move to Pakastan.
Arrived in Pakastan and i desided 2 stay in a sadly creepypasta inn in Pakastan, Georgia on Patrixxx Lane Patrixxx Avenue Non-Patrixxx location. The man said "Patrixxx would you like to stay in a room Patrixxx? P.S. I am not Patrixxx." I was like "Ok I get it, Patrixxx, Patrixxx, Patrixxx" he said "Correct, Patrixxx" and gave me a key that had "Patrixxx" written on it. I was like "No! Y U DO DIS!?" he said "Patrixxx you're welcome Patrixxx" I went down the hall and I saw that all of the doors had "Patrixxx" written on them instead of numbers I was like "Okay im gettin tired of this nonsensical thing ok?" and so i opened the door and it led 2 a place, it was a hotel room yes, but was it good? NO CAUSE IT WAS CALLED "PATRIXXX"!
i seen the TV remote but all the button said "Patrixxx" i saw that there was a radio but all the stations were called "Patrixxx". at this point i was getting furious so i called the front desk - guess which number i had to dial? Y guest it... PATRIXXX. i dialed and the operator said "Patrixxx" and i got incontat with the front desk and they said "Patrixxx" and he came to the room knoced on the door and when i opend it he said "Patrixxx" so i punched him and he died and his ghost come out and said "Patrixxx". I called the ghost busters and they busted the ghost because you know, who you gonna call? PATRIXXX!!! THATS ALL THEY DID I LIED THEY DID NOT BUST THE GHOST THEY JUST CAME AND TOLD ME "PATRIXXX"!!!! I called cutomer service and they said "We are sorry we are no longer 'Ghost Busters Customer Service' we are now known as 'Patrixxx' and we are too lazy to answer the phone thanks. P.S. Patrixxx" I hung up but as I did so it sounded like someone said "Patrixxx" again and I was like "I'm Done ok?"
I seen the spider and it said "Patrixxx" and so i called a taxi and it was called "Patrixxx" and i go to game stop but it was called "Game Patrixxx" and i seen a man at the fron desk he said "Patrixxx" and he kicked me out the door and closed. I saw that there was a new game comming out called "Patrixxx" and it was about Patrixxx murdering a person who was not Patrixxx. I also saw a girl scout patrixxx selling patrixxx. she really was selling Patrixxx she sold Clones of Patrixx to suicidal people so they could get eaten for breakfast by Patrixxx - scratch that they where eaten for Patrixxx by Patrixxx I DONT EVEN CARE ANYMORE!!! PATRIXXX PATRIXXX PATRIXXX PATRIXXX PATRIXXX PATRIXXX PATRIXXX PATRIXXX PATRIXXX PATRIXXX PATRIXXX PATRIXXX!!!
Now every word I'm gonna type is just gonna mean Patrixxx so that sentence I just typed all the words where just "Patrixxx" okay? Patrixxx by the way AAAAUGH!!! PATRIXXX I went back to my house PATRIXXX I saw that my mama was made breakfast before she died PATRIXXX and so i went upstairs PATRIXXX and i saw a note PATRIXXX that said
"I killed myself ok? - Mama PATRIXX"
And so PATRIXXX i went outside PATRIXXX and i saw that Patrixxx was there for real PATRIXXX and screamed PATRIXXX "MAKE IT STOP PATRIXXX!!!" and Patrixxx said "No. PATRIXXX" so i pulled out a gun PATRIXXX and when i tried to shoot myself PATRIXXX a flag poped out that said "Patrixxx". I then saw on TV that Patrixxx had won the presidential election and he and his running mate Vice President Patrixxx had workd out a bipartisan resolution and the Patrixxx and Patrixxx Party both agreed to pass a law that said "Patrixxx" and with that the United States of Patrixxx was free to Patrixxx once again PATRIXXX PATRIXXX PATRIXXX. I saw that PATRIXXX everything was starting to turn pink PATRIXXX and also I saw that my dad had come home from the store and said "Patrixxx" I screemed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PATRIXXX
ur next PATRIXXX
the end PATRIXXX
—
And that was how the 789th dimension completely turned into Patrixxx.
You're next again.
The end. Also PATRIXXX.
Written by Church of C'Shan
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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