The creepiest episode of Rocko's Modern Life
I love the cartoon "Rocko's Modern Life". Who doesn't? It was one of my favorite Nicktoons as a kid, and I still go back and watch episodes of it to this day. But my meddling in nostalgic cartoons online got me into trouble.
To make a long story short, I stumbled upon something disturbing. I don't know if it was someone's idea of a joke, but their sense of humor must be warped beyond my comprehension if so.
I was on a website that claimed to be a cartoon website where they had .mp4 files and watchable videos of every cartoon ever made. It was really surreal at first glance. The entire website was black, with simple yellow text for everything. There were no graphics. It looked like a project someone in a computer class would make. Even stranger than that was the website's address itself.
www.www.www.www.www.www.www.www
It was just a bunch of www's separated by the occasional period. It must've been some kind of ruse to avoid copyright claims. Anyway, I went to the cartoon selection menu, and looked for Rocko's Modern Life. I found it pretty quickly, and clicked on it. A list appeared and showed what I believed to be all the episodes, in order, but they all just said Rocko01, Rocko02, Rocko03, Rocko04, Rocko05, and so on until it ended with Rocko57.
I clicked on Rocko01, expecting to see the first episode, No Pain No Gain, but when the video loaded up all I got was a long buzzing noise on a white screen. I fast forwarded it, and it kept going, and going, and going. There was nothing to be seen here. The video was a staggering 150 hours long. Was I to watch a white picture buzz for over 6 days? I backed out of the page, and clicked on Rocko02. The video that followed was another white buzzing screen. This time, the video was a mere 19 hours long. I skipped ahead to see if this one was any different, but it wasn't. It was just a shorter version of Rocko01.
I shook my head and skipped the list down to Rocko08 after backing out, wondering just what was going on here. This is where, for lack of a better term, shit hit the fan.
A hideous series of animations were moving onscreen, but they were so strange and uncanny that I didn't know what was going on. In one part of the animation, Rocko looked like he was smiling and talking, but his jaws were very messed up, and he was moving around with a twitch that made him look like he was having some kind of seizure.
Right after this, Rocko appeared again in another animation, and I couldn't even make out what he was saying. It was extremely warped and sounded like backwards speech that I can only describe as moaning and slurred, incomprehensible gibberish. Rocko looked like he was hanging on the wall in a portrait, but as he was talking there was a strange black ooze leaking out from under the "picture".
When that had taken place, the image started glitching out, like a VHS tape that had gone terribly bad, and what appeared next actually made me say "what the fuck" out loud. Rocko, or, who I thought was Rocko, was standing next to a misshapen being and they were talking while looking at the viewer, and they kept moving closer and closer to the screen, but in a very slow manner. The ugly thing on the left side pointed at me, and the screen suddenly cut away. I thought I heard babies crying for a few moments, but it was very faint. What was even happening? What was this video? Was this an episode at all?
Red text started flashing on the screen, and it kept putting "Joe Murray, Joe Murray" and every time it flashed onscreen it showed a different font. It even popped up in Wingdings font! Wingdings font? Seriously? When the picture came back I saw Rocko again, and he looked horrifying. He started turning his head side to side until I heard a very nasty cracking sound, as if he had broken his own neck. The being next to him was slowly getting more and more distant from the screen until he, or it, vanished completely. I jumped back as the silhouette of a fly crawled across the screen. It was huge, too.
I couldn't take any more of this, but when I tried to back out, an error message appeared that told me to "enjoy the show". Well, I certainly wasn't enjoying the show, so I tried to close the browser, and it wouldn't let me leave. I kept seeing the horrible, creepy animations playing and the video was stuck on play, I couldn't even pause it. I sighed and put my hands over my eyes, throwing off my headphones. When I peeked again, I saw Rocko, with pure white eyes, staring at me directly. Another thing next to him (Heffer?) was staring at me as well, with big, lifeless eyes.
I didn't know what to do. The website still wouldn't let me back out, but I didn't want to shut my PC off out of terrified curiosity. We just stared at each other for what seemed like over 10 minutes. After that, Rocko's face started melting. In fact, the whole video started melting. It faded to black, and the video stopped. I could finally go out of this site, but when I pressed back it showed a "This site can't be reached" error. I tried refreshing the page, retyping the address exactly how it was, and kept getting the error. I shut my PC off and went and laid down.
I couldn't sleep. I felt like the "episode" was driving me crazy with worry and anxiety induced fears. My phone buzzed on my nightstand, and I picked it up and opened it. I had received an email from a mysterious sender. It only said one word.
Rocko
Underneath the one word was a multitude of crazy stills from other creepy "episodes". How was this happening? I never even gave them my email address. I started to panic, thinking I was cursed for watching such garbage.
But then, my eyes popped open; had I been sleeping deeply at my desk the whole time? I lifted my head off my desk, noticing the large amount of drool that was on my keyboard. On the screen was Google, and I had been looking up Rocko's Modern Life. I let out a sigh of relief. But then I heard a voice behind me. It sounded... Australian...
"Hello mate. Have a rough night?"
I almost jumped out of my chair in fear. Behind me was a Rocko plush, sitting on my pillow with blood all over it...
Written by Meaty
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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