The day my dad kicked me out of the house and I was forced to go outside for more than 5 minutes and it was horrible
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On a very sunny June afternoon, I was sitting in my house watching a bunch of hentai when my dad comes in and starts yelling at me for some reason. He said that I'm a lazy piece of shit who needs to get outside for more than 2 minutes at a time and that he wishes his 23 year old son was athletic and not a dumbass weeaboo who jacks off to anime girls (even though he's just a fat piece of shit that gets welfare and masturbates all day, the fatass still told me to go outside even though I'm 97% positive that he hasn't been outside for more than 10 minutes at a time in his entire life). He kicked me out of the house and said to go get a job and do something productive, otherwise he would throw out my computer and all my 69 body pillows. I couldn't get back in, so I decided to go do some other stuff for a while.
The first thing that I thought I could do is to go over to a friend's house. Then I remembered that all of my friends were just some dating sims that I had bought on Steam. I did have one friend though, I remembered, and that was Theo. (btw that dumbass weeaboo that was typing this dumbass creepy pasta left and now I am taking over to make it just as much of a dumbass) Theo was a fat looking piece of shit that was brown from the hyperrealistic sun that made him brown colored. He yelled at me to say hello, but I was hiding in the tree to avoid my biggest enemy in life: the sun. He was the biggest asshole ever since my science teacher always making us watch Bill Nye videos. Theo loved Bill Nye and got fucked by him, but was mad at him for a little while because Bill Nye was using a fake dick. So I didn't know why I was friends with Theo. The only thing we had in common was doing the Limp Biscuit challenge and watching Hentai together and jerking each other off sometimes (it's back to the dipshit weeaboo writing it). I was probably friends with him because otherwise I would just be a piece of shit weeaboo who owned 69 body pillows and got outside 2 minutes a year. I might be weeaboo white trash, but at least I have a dick that's bigger than my dad's (which btw isn't an accomplishment because his dick when hard is a half centimeter, like Beverly's).
I was hiding in the trees to hide myself from the sun and all of my relatives that see me outside and might say some stupid shit like "Hey Tommy, do you want to go fishing with us?" Eventually though, some douchebag chucked a rock at me and I fell out of the trees and had to be out in the sun. I was about to die because I hadn't been out in the sun that long in my entire life and I felt like pulling a Cobain, but I didn't have a shotgun at hand. Turns out that person was no other than Mitt Romney. He beat me with his 72 inch dick and it was worse than the time that my dad beat me with the belt. It was worse than the time I only got to jack off 10 times in one day. Then a skeleton popped out.
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