The Haunted Pizza
Originally posted to YouTube by CallMeKevin, transcribed by William Leonard
There was once a George who was named Greg, he worked as a cinema guy for 21 years. He was short, a bit small, had blue hair and blonde eyes. Today was the 4rd of Novemeber, his birthday, He was turning 18 today. He was also a wizard. He had a neighbour but he didn't ever meet him becuase he was always hdiding from him. He knew thAT His neighbour was a wizerd hunter so he was always hiding from him. He had to be always hiding from him to avoid his death. But one time he hid too hard and died.
Bartholomew was a pizza man, but everyone called him pizz for short because he delivered pizza. Pizz loved pizza, he tried to marry a pizza but he wasn't allowed because he lived in england and everyones knows they are pizzaphobes. ESPEICALLY when they have toppings. He made his own pizza company called pizz pizza, and made every pizz pizza with care and care and deliveder them on his moped. sometimes he would get a strange feeling like he was being watched but more painful like he was being stabbed so he was being supper careful. Today he got an order that just said "feed the wizerd with gravy pizza, at 123 wizard house, harry potter lane" so he made the gravy pizza and got on his moped with the pizza in the pizza box and placed the box that held the piza onto the back of his moped where there was a basket to hold pizza boxes that held pizzas, one of pizz's orgagnil desiens.
he had to get the pizza to the wizard before it was too late.....if he was late he had to give it away to for free. he arrived at the wizard house very tall and ready to deliver. The garden was filled with crazy things, like wizard gems and roses that didn't suit the garden at all. Wow, can you imagine!? He ran up to the door slowly in case of traps and rang the door. the door answered and pizz said he was here to deliver a pizza but the door just hung up, so rude. Pizz didn't have much time, he quakly took the pizza out, ate a slicer then rolled up the rest and mashed it through the mailbox. Mystery solved, the pizza was deliverd. Then all of a sudden someone slammed the door open and screamed "THE PIZZA WAS HAUNTED" before falling reveling a slive of pizza sticking out of his back. Pizz was concerned, this didn't happen too often.
He went inside and whispered "pizza stop, your scaring me" and he heard a whimper, "I knew you wouldnt be like the others slice number 5" and as he went to pick iot up, it jumped up and bite his ear off! "omg slice number 5" he shouted before stabbing it with his hat. pizz always wore a party hat btw. "I have to hunt down all the slices before soneone gets hurt" This wasnt the first pizza hunt he had been on. He was ready qith his spoon and tic tacs to take on all the pizza in the house. He crept up the old creeky elevator to the second floor and he started to get that feeling that someone was stabbign him again. AND THEY WERE, A pizza slice was nibbling at his foot "OH FLOCK NO" he screamed, kicking the pizza off the elvator door. He opened the door and closed it again on the pizza, it killed it but it kept opening and shutting making a really annoying beeping noise so he ran away and into 3 more pizza slices.
They ran around him in a circular moteion, like a biker gang going in a circular motion or vultures going in a circular motion or a merry go round going in a circular motion or brushing your teeth in a circular motion. He looked to the side and smirked and black lines were over and beneath his eyes like in a movie and then he ran away screaming. kicking the pizza slicers as he went. "I created you" he whisper screamed. And one of the pizz pizza slices knew he was right, turning fast and there was a screechign sounds as his breaks screameed when he turned and drove into the other slices, taking them oout. Pizz ran to the slice, "slice number 2...no" the pizza moved its peporony and made it spell "Im sorry. Goodbie"."you misspiled goodbye, you idiot" said pizz. "Dude, I am a pizza, give me a break, the fact I am even doing this is crazy, like I don't have a brain and you are correcting a typo? You suck pizz, I should have eaten you". Pizz ate him and said "Stupid arrogant pizza" smiling in pride of his eating.
He knew there was one slice left, he had to find it, there was a bright red door at the end of the hallway. He went through it, not even bothering to ask since the front door was so rude and they were all part of the same gang, he knew because of the tats. The wizard was sitting on a small chair next to a throne with the last slice on it. The wizard jumped in front of the pizza, "YOU SHALL NOT PAST" he screamed. "thats plagurism" said pizz walking past the wizard and about to eat the slice. "No you don't undertsand the zard said" "i am in love with slice number 2". The Pizza locked shocked. "This is so unexpected, I don't know what to sa-" pizz ate him.
"WHAT THE HELL" Said the pizza, why did you eat him!? Pizz said sorry and threw up, letting the wizard out again. He ate the pizza slice. "I thought you love him!?" Said Pizz. "I did, but I knew I wasn't enough and they would leave me, so I ate him"."You made a powerful enemy today pizz he shouted as he ran away into the darkness. Pizz followed, running his hand along the blood wall that was bleeding the blood of all the men pizz killed. his guilt washed over him and he had to shower to wash it off "May I use ur facilities" he said to the shower, yes it replied, he showered then continued looking. "he could hear whispers coming fromt he walls. "You wont find me" "I am invisible" "Good luck" "I am one with the wind" then pizz felt something on his shoulder, he turned and cried blood so fast it was kind of weird, the wizard was dead. He hid way too hard. Pizz said...why did you hide so hard. He said "I was trying to impress you..." before he died. Pizz cried manly tears of manlieness because he knew this story wasn't as good as rogers. He danced into the moonlight, just wishing...he could be what everyone wanted him to be, a pizza.
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