The potato man eats a cabbage for the first time

This is a story all about the Potato man, a 5000 year old potato thats really tasty but no one knows that. He found a cabbage one day in his potato garden.

"WAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!" He screamed at the top of his lungs "CABBAGE? WHAT TROLL IS REPREHENSIBLE FOR THIS?" English was not his first language, so he used words differently than we. The Potato man proceeded to try to take out the cabbage of the in the wat ground, but it was very stuck. "SON OF A PICKLE!" He screamed "I NOW MUST FOUND TROWEL!" he stomped into his shed, and picked up a trowel. The trowel looked hyper realistic for some reason, no one knows why, but i guess this is why, it was real life in some way.

He went over to the cabbage, before tripping of a big root, it started to dig a hole around the cabbage in hopes of tearing the root up and proceeding to pick up the cabbage and chuck it. What ended up happening is he cut off a peace of the cabbage. Curious, he looked at it... but didnt care and just went back to digging up the cabbage.

Finally after what seemed like 6 hours, because it was, the immortal cabbage was finally mortal "You know what" He thought "I went through all that work to plick this thing out of garden, but now i are hungry and want eat." So he did what no potato man ever did, he started eating it "OH MY GOD" he said through full cheeks "THIS IS REALLY, REALLY GOOD"

But he soon found out why potato men dont eat cabbages. See, Potatoes and cabbages dont really mix well together, so the potato man got a bellyache and blew up to mashed potatoes. All the children in neighboring villages got spoons and sticks of butter to put into the newly made mashed potato man, but quickly ran away from the mush because of the cabbage.

So just remember, if you are a potato man, and you see cabbage in your potato garden, please, just throw it away.

Editors note: There was no cabbages or potato men harmed in this story. Thank you... Now get out. :)

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