The rise of trollpastas
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NSFW WARNING
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April 20th, 2001
One boring day while on BustyAsianBeauties.com, I received a spoopy pop-up. When I tried to hit the X button, it wouldn't let me exit the pop-out! Then a bunch of Sonic porn flashed on my screen!
Then my dad walked in and raped me for not watching My Little Pony porn instead. I cried myself to sleep that night while hugging my Nep body pillow.
April 20thn't
The next day I woke up and went to my computer. I had gotten a text on Instant Message! It said, "Do not turn around", so like any normal person--I turned around. Suddenly, a skeleton popped out, with hyper-realistic blood oozing from its eyes! I looked down on my lap to see Tail's Doll!
Then I woke up to find out it was just a nightmare.
I went on my computer, to find I had a message. It read, "That was not just an ordinary spoopy dream. It was a hallucination from I, the most powerful demon to exist. This shall be the rise of the trollpastas. I will create an army, and bring every single one of them to life."
I was severely absolutely terrified! Who could it be? Who was the most powerful demon to exist?
I shrugged it off and watched some Undertale porn and went to bed while singing nursery rhymes to myself.
April ???
The next day I woke up, I heard screaming from outside. There, I saw every trollpasta character I had read and more had come to life, and they were killing people!!! But who could have been powerful enough to do so?
Then I heard a voice behind me. It was an elegant voice that spoke with such class and manner. It made Morgan Freeman sound like Hillary Clinton on a unicycle talking about gun control while on acid and crack at the same time. The voice dwarfed the most beautiful things I had heard and seen in my life. I turned around to face the very embodiment of class and elegance. I turned around to see Sir Evil Patrixxx of Darkness, dressed in a tuxedo with a monocle, with two gorgeous anime girls at his sides.
"It is I, Evil Patrixxx. I have come here to end you," he said.
"But why?" I said as Evil Patrixx turned me to dust. Then he brought me back to life to kill me again by blasting me with laser eyes.
"Because my child," he said as he morphed into an Evil-Patirxx-Thanos hybrid. "It is my time to rule this pointless world."
Then he brought me back to life and suffocated me with anime girl thighs.
I come here to warn you of the unstoppable, invincible, and immortal force that is Evil Patrixxx.
The last thing I remembered before he sent my soul to hell was the hyper-realistic blood the oozed out his eyes and mouth and that evil monocle of his.
No matter how strong you think you are, fear Evil Patrixxx, for nothing can save you from him.
Written by The Fedora Tipper
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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