The story of the death of the Loomynati.
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NSFW WARNING
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So, it all started on a Monday. The day was the 6/6/6 and I was playing my SEXbox. I was beating off while playing Shrek: The Hyper Realistic Game 17. I got it for free at a garage sale from some old man. But then, my dad, Lord Fuckwad came in and thrusted his hyper realistic cock into the TV screen. I screamed at him and he said "You are a fucking disappointment to this family. Shrek is drek." But then the mighty orgelord jumped out of Fuckwad's tiny anus. Shrek let out a mighty ogre roar and his dick grew over 999,999,999 metres that it violetly ripped out of Shrek's pants. The whole universe now orbited around his mega orge penis. It was awesome! But I looked at the now broken screen of the TV and saw the title screen now had hyper realistic blood everywhere. Definitely a glitch. Shrek shoved his dick tip up the little fucker Fuckwad'a ass. He screamed and hyper realistic cum came out of his mouth. My dick was so erect. Shrek whispered in Fuckwad's ear: "It's all ogre, laddeh." I was still beating my dick off and I cummed ogre 9000 gallons of cum out of my woody cock. Shrek went to kiss me but then Bill Gates magically materialised a portal and jumped through. He got out a knife and walked to Shrek... Then made a sandwich. He suggested we watched some gay hentai. We all sat on the couch and beat off. Shrek was stroking his 999,999,999 metre long penis and I was beating off while Bill ate his sandwich. Then in a super hyper mega realistic explosion came the omega universe police. "Shrek you drek fucker you fucked up the whole galaxy." Said one, but Shrek produced a katana and made chicken drumsticks out of them. Meanwhile in Russia Jeoff de Kilerr was accessing the nuclear codes, which in fact was 420420. "You shall pay you shit ass Michael Roasten!" Turns out, Michael stole Jeoff's ultra rare Pepe meme. He pressed the red button that said don't press me 69 times around it. Meanwhile Shrek began to have a threesome with me and Bill. It was lovely, Just wonderful. But then the roast alert went off. It said that 1337 super destructive meme nukes where heading for Michael Roasten's house. "OH SHIT ITS THE SKYFOOGLE!" Yelled Michael Roasten, who lived in China. Meanwhile some guy called Tonald Drump was talking about demolishing a fence between the Africans when he saw the nukes. His toupee flew up into the air and created a giant sheild, stronger than the strongest boner in the world. But turns out Shrek's dick was so large (And was stronger than the strongest boner in the world.) that it smashed Tonald'a toupee shield. Everyone yelled "Shrek is drek!" and they then summoned EVIL PATRIXXX! Oh shit. And they had an epic battle! Shrek summoned a fuck ton of onions and... ate them? Shrek was glowing green with power. He summoned dildo missiles and commanded them to get shoved up PATRIXXX's crusty starfish anus. They went flying and EVIL PATRIXXX was hurt. But he was at his final form: DESTROYER PATRIXXX EX! He created a million starfish shurikans! Shrek was badly damaged and his dick was getting smaller by the minute, which was an indication of his power level which currently was over 9000. But then a million Vegetas came out of nowhere and fucked up PATRIXXX EX with their Kamehameha from their dick. Turns out they where on Shrek's side. But PATRIXXX EX had his final move... But then, ATTACK ON TITAN! Oh fuck. Still holding my dick, I watched as all the weeaboos pulled down their pants and beat off to the titans fighting Shrek and PATRIXXX EX. "I love you TITANS!" yelled a weeaboo jerking off. The titan smashed Shrek's face into PATRIXXX EX's. It was a Shrek and Patrixxx sandwich. The titans rammed into the sides, one titan on one side, another on the other. They would squash them. They where the bread. "I'm BREADy to die." cried Shrek. But then, the SEINFEILD theme played! But everyone hated the joke! Shrek's penis was out of power. It was the size of a pinky finger. This was it, PATRIXXX EX had had enough. So PATRIXXX EX pulled out a blackhole and shoved it so far up Shrek's dick hole, it not only consumed everyone but consumed its self from the inside out. And then everyone but PATRIXXX died. I'm died. The universe is died. Then a skeleton popped out. The End. BUT WAIT. It turns out... Shrek's nuts are shaped like a triangle... So 6739.829x(72-929.77%)+6739={69%=Shrek. 420%=Loomynati} so Shrek=Loomynati confirmed?! But if Shrek is kill, then illuminati is kill. But if illuminati is kill, then... WHO WAS PHONE?!
Written by REALTheLoafLord
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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