Tommy vs. Nintendo

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One day my friend Tommy and I went to a garage sale. We went up to the creepy old man with a box of Nintendo 69 cartridges. Tommy was all like, "Bro, I'm going to buy those." And I was all like, "No dude, you never buy video games from creepy old men at garage sales."

But he just couldn't listen to me.

He asked how many cartridges were in the box, and the old man replied "69". Tommy asked the price, and the old man continued "$6.66". Tommy was very excited "Woah man, 69 cartridges for $6.66? That is a great deal! Now can I borrow $6.66...?"

Reluctantly I handed Tommy the money. I mean, if it were to be like in a creepypasta, then those cartridges were cursed, but they probably weren't, and even if they were, I told him not to buy them.

Tommy wanted to go to my house, because apparently he broke his Nintendo 69 last week. He went shuffling through the box. "WOAH, look at this! They have all the original Nintendo 69 titles! Sonic 69, Call of Duty 69, League of Legends 69, all of them!" At this point I was getting a little worried. Why, you might ask? Who would be selling 69 cartridges with all the original game titles for that cheap, and not have it be cursed?

Tommy popped in Sonic 06 69 and started playing. "Man, this is my favorite Sonic game, it's even better than Sonic Boom 69!" I was too scared to stay in the room however. I heard Tommy scream from the room, and I didn't hesitate to pick up the phone.

I called the National Guard, the Army, Nintendo Corporation, Jesus, and Evil Patrixxx over to help save Tommy from what I assumed is the devil.

They all arrived at the same time. The Army asked "Why did you call us here?" and I replied that it might be their chance to catch the devil, who was lurking in a box of Nintendo 69 cartridges. "Oh ok", he said.

We all popped into the room, and slowly but surely, stalked our way in. I saw flashing lights coming from the TV set, the Nintendo 69 cartridge was knocked over, and Tommy was sitting their, motionless.

Evil Patrixxx stepped forward, and started to cast a spell to rouse his greatest enemy, the devil. He started whispering something in Latin, along the lines of "Et cornu grande esse non placet, te omnes..." and I was getting worried about Tommy. After thirty minutes of Latin spells, it was appearing it didn't work.

That's when Evil Patrixx started forward, with us close behind. He felt for Tommy's pulse, and couldn't find it. "Wait a second, he didn't die from cursed cartridges! It appears he had a heart attack, and grabbed for something to keep him steady, and that's how the Nintendo 69 fell down!"

"But what about that scream I heard?" I asked, confused.

"That was your friend dying, and you being too scared to save him."

Well fuck.

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