Toy Story Ü 2: Shack Sinestro
Listen. Toy Story was an incredible franchise.
"Was", you say?
That's right, fellow Disnite. I burst blackened shit upon my walls, as you are no doubt doing now, upon discovering that the Toy Story franchise is, in fact, capable of ruination. The horror of Toy Story Ü had barely left me when I discovered something that turned my shit to rock and rubble.
Do you remember Toy Story Ü from 123movies.com?
Well, to my shock and horror, I discovered a second Toy Story Ü at 3am. Just the title alone triggered violent flashbacks, causing me to burn a 2 foot hole through my bed with an ass explosion of sheer terror.
The film opens on Ducky with no eyes hanging in a dark fucking shack spinning on a rotisserie to a fucking AWFUL cover of "Rigoletto".
A worm crawls out of his ass.
Suddenly, several worms start fucking exploding out of Ducky to some shit-ass death metal overcut with Lil' Wayne's breathing as the scene zooms out.
We cut some old fuck at a yard sale trying to scam people out of money. That's right, the scene transition literally cuts him on the cheek. He handed a Spider-Man toy to some kid, said "Look what he can do!" and started shaking the toy violently, popping Spidey's head clean off as champagne came bursting out.
The kid screamed.
We suddenly cut to a bunch of people in Toy Story suits dancing around a fucking fire to this intense ritualistic chanting music.
The guy in the Buzz suit suddenly injected heroin into his ass and leapt into the fire as the music intensified into opera.
We randomly cut to a very real looking depiction of the house from "Up" crashing in midair on a cliff and everything falling out of the fucking side.
We see Carl scream with this red fucking overlay as the footage abruptly cuts out mid tumble.
A shitty rap remix of the "Up" Theme on horns plays.
We suddenly see INCREDIBLY low quality footage of a man dressed as Po from fucking Kung-Fu Panda dropping a box of Hefeweizen Beer all over the fucking floor, sending him slipping and sliding down a flight of stairs while yelling "FUCK!"
Anime Credits play.
We hear a gunshot and Mr. Fucking Incredible comes MARCHING up the stairs to this stupid sounding villain music with his gun, labeled "Furry Convention". We then cut to a Red Buzz Lightyear standing in front of the shack from the beginning. We can clearly read the name on the shack.
Shack Sinestro.
Red Buzz opens the door, and out come all these fucked-up looking toys, including one that I'm pretty sure was just a fucking bag with shitty evil eyes drawn on.
"It is time"...said Red Buzz in a horribly edited-in Indian-American accent.
"....For revenge".
We see Woody slapping Bo's plastic ass loudly to some loud fucking rap and rearing his head back and whooping before looking up at the screen and saying "oh, fuck."
We then see Mr. Potato head on a shelf watching some girl take her clothes off.
He suddenly starts moaning and saying
"Oh SHIT...oh yeah..."
over and over again.
The girl screams, grabs Mr. Potato Head, and throws him out the window.
Mrs. Potato head files for divorce.
Mr. Potato head starts rolling through the grass with no arms or legs to that fucking Ludacris Roll-Out song.
We see some old lady watching Mr. Potato fall down the hill.
"Oh mah Lord. It's Doctor Phil." she says.
Mr. Potato head smacks into Shack Sinestro, nearly dies, and swears allegiance to Red Buzz in Syrian Arabic as the ISIS Flag faintly appears in the background.
We see Ducky and Bunny plush rushing a hospital and unplugging all the life support machines when suddenly, the worm infested Ducky comes crashing through the window.
Gaster's theme from fucking Undertale began to play as a game-styled text box appeared and declared that if two Ducky's are ever in the same place for too long, the universe will implode.
We cut back to Woody, who smacks Bo Peep's ass so fucking hard her legs fall off.
Suddenly, Red Buzz and the Sinestro Gang appear behind Woody.
Woody turns around slowly, glock in hand.
"Shoot for the Ü" he declares as he blows Red Buzz to bits, causing realistic blood and guts to spray everywhere to fucking "Dueces" by Achozen.
We cut to Lightning McQueen barreling through a senior living center and running everyone over to the fucking Invader Zim theme song at an UNGODLY volume.
McQueen yells "SZECHUAN SAUCE" in an obviously slowed down voice before fucking flattening some Bernie Sanders looking fuck.
We see Duke Kaboom at a McDonald's.
Suddenly, he sees Richaun.
"Richaun" turns around, but it's a fucking angry ass man who smacks Duke off the counter.
"The End" appears, in dripping, red Chiller.
Credited to Chimichangar
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