Underwater Sun is actually evil

Do you remember the song Underwater Sun from SpongeBob? Of course you do. It's a classic. It's been fondly remembered for many years, and is arguably one of SpongeBob's catchiest bops. BUT.....
.....What if I told you that this song is actually kind of fucked up when you study the lyrics like I have? Let's take a look at the lyrics real quick by the singer.
Come with me to the land I love
(He's implying that he loves the land, but mankind is on the land ruining it, so it's not something to be "loved" per se)
It's not right here, down the street, or up above
(He's insulting your intelligence by stating the obvious)
It's down below in the deep blue sea
(He's saying "something" is down below, in the deep blue sea... a body perhaps?)
Where SpongeBob lives, and the fun is always free
(He's lying to you)
(Down, down, down) to the bottom of the sea
(He wants you to go down, down, down to the bottom of the sea. That means he's going to kill you.)
Where our salty friend SpongeBob waits for you and me
(Much like a predator, he promises your favorite cartoon character will meet you there with him. He's obviously trying to lead you into a false sense of security with the promise of a SpongeBob meetup.)
(Down, down, down) ahh, we'll have lots of fun
(The promise of "fun" may sound tempting, but he really seems to be desperately clinging onto the idea that a child swimming into the ocean with him will be a steadfast and safe experience.)
You and me forever in the underwater sun
(He intends your soul to rest at the bottom of the ocean for all eternity.)
We'll catch some jellyfish if we get a chance
(Jellyfish are notorious for stinging individuals with an extremely painful venom. He's happy with the idea that he's putting you in danger.)
Say hello to Patrick, and do a little dance
(He's going to introduce you to his human trafficking buddy.)
Karate chop Sandy, see Squid get a tan
(He's wants you to get you beat up and then watch an octopus get skin cancer. That's horrible.)
Eat a Krabby Patty, and foil Plankton's plan
(He's going to take you out to lunch, and then get into conflict with a supervillain. Completely safe.)
(Down, down, down) to the bottom of the sea
(See line #5.)
We'll hook up with SpongeBob and his snail Gary
("Hook up" implies that he's going to force you into a polyamorous relationship with him, SpongeBob and Gary.)
(Down, down, down) ahh, we'll have lots of fun
(He'll have lots of fun once he's disposed of you.)
You and me forever in the underwater sun
(Just don't follow strangers into the ocean, kids...)
Underwater sun
(In case you didn't hear him the first time.)
Well, there you have it. Isn't that shit diabolical? It gives me the chills.......
Written by Meaty
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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