Veggietales 1986
So there was this was one time where I was walking down the street for no reason. Then I came upon a dumpster and I said, "Yo," And the dumpster threw up a VHS tape. I picked it up after I JUST CLEANED MY HANDS, and excitingly took it home.
I got home and literally threw it full force at my VCR. The VCR grabbed it with his arms and ate it. The video began to play. White text said on a black background, "VEGGIETALES 1986 PILOT, GOD CARES, 07/07/86," Wowee! From 1986? Cool!
On a white wall, there was a pink post-it note that said "Big Idea presents Veggietales," I was like "wut?" Because Big Idea was founded in 1993! A hand ripped it off and the screen moved to another post-it note. This one said "God cares." The same hand ripped it off.
it cut to Bob and Larry but things were different. Bob was squished and rotten, and he was in a puddle of maybe tomato juice. He had a creepy smile, and one of his leaves were drooping. Larry had long eyes and looked deformed. His teeth were long too and looked like vampire teeth. They were in clay.
In the background, was the same post-it notes from earlier. Bob spoke up. "HEY, KIDS, AND WELCOME TO VEGGIETALES! I'M BOOOB THE BUILDER! CAN WE FIX IT?! BOOOOB THE BUILDER! YES WE CAN!" BUT BOB THE BUILDER STARTED IN 1998! NOT 1986!
Larry said, "AND I'M PICKLE RIICK!" BUT THAT'S CRAZY BECAUSE RICK & MORTY BLA BLA BLA YOU GET IT! Bob announced that he got a letter. "And today, we got a letter from ?????????!" The name was just a glitching sound.
The letter was smothered all over Bob. He read the letter out loud. "Dear, Bob and PICKLE RIIICK, I have a son whos constantly bullied in school. He feels like no one cares about him. And I really don't know what to do. He's lost all hope. Can you help us? From, ?????????,"
"Wow, Bob that sounds really bad, what are we gonna do?" Pickle Rick asked, sounding like Patrick. Patrick if you can hear this, WE'RE YOU VOICING THIS CUCUMBER FOR A SCENE? Bob tells Pickle Rick and the audience about the time Jr. Asparagus was being bullied.
It cut to Jr. Asparagus looking terrifed, and being hit by a water bottle. Two pieces of him fell off. He talked to himself about why he should still be alive, and that he was constantly in pain. As he was complaining, he was being crushed by the water bottle. Bob and Pickle Rick burst in and try to comfort Jr. Jr. insulted Pickle Rick for his height, and a finger smushed him so he could be shorter. Bob and Pickle Rick sing a song for Jr., but it turns out to be the most discouraging song in history. They call him a noob repeatedly and tell him he will die alone and afraid, and no one will ever care for him.
The camera continuously rolled over Jr. and then, at the end of the song, it shows Jr. looking like a baseball bat. He goes to the edge of the oven, and jumps off. He hits the ground and breaks into 6 pieces as he says "oof." Bob says that they tried.
it cuts to black and a narrator says it's time for a silly song with Pickle Rick, however, he calls Pickle Rick's song stupid. It cuts to Pickle Rick, and suddenly, he's smashed by a hand repeatedly. He's then smothered by the post-it notes, and the letter. He's thrown into the trash as the "Game Over Yeah" tune plays.
It cuts to black again, and the narrator says it's time for The Tale of Two Onions. It shows two realistic onions for a few seconds, then a scream erupts out of nowhere.
It cuts to Bob. He's all alone. He tells the audience it's time to talk about what we learned today. He drags over to QWERTY, who was cracked and ON FIRE! QWERTY became coughing and could barely sing the What Have We Learned song. He began freaking out and crashed into Bob. The camera began rolling over QWERTY and Bob.
It cut to Bob and QWERTY combined as a burning snake. A hand took a knife out and cut the combination into three. It cut to the hand cleaning up the mess that was once the Veggietales characters. It cuts to black and a man in a French accent says "sometime later." It cuts to someone walking into the kitchen, and finding out the cucumber and tomato he was gonna use for a salad is gone.
He's about to walk out of the room when he suddenly hits the trash can and it opens. He finds the remains of Pickle Rick, Jr., and Bob. He decides to go to McDonalds. My VCR spit out the tape, and I emailed Big Idea. They responded 20 minutes later saying, " Hi there, Andrew! We understand you had to go through this, but this video you sent us was made by a time traveler, who brought memes and other stuff after '86 into this so called "pilot." His name is Andrew Makara. God made you special loves you very much!"
I then suddenly realized.
I'm Andrew Makara.
Credited to Maka1003
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