Welcome New Galaxy
So... it had finally happened. I finally got Super Mario Galaxy 2 for Christmas. I was grateful for it, as, I was a hardcore Mario fan. Not like my school agrees with me. I get picked on at school for liking Mario. I remember the things they said to me.
Like "Hey, Rob, where's Mario?" I hate Bullshit like that that happens at my school. I am a social outcast, and I have no friends. Everyone at my school likes their Call of Duty's, and their Halo's. If I went to school in the '80's or the '90's, everyone would love Nintendo. And I would have friends.
I looked at the box cover, I could tell it was innocent enough. Mario, with his jolly smile, perched on Yoshi's back. A warm smile grew on my face. I was happy.
Shortly after, I examined everything. I noticed that there was miniscule writing in the top left corner of the cover. It was not visible to the naked eye. It must have been the small print, like the code of the disc that is usually printed on. But I could obviously tell this was hand- written. How someone could write that small astonishes me.
Who would have wrote something on the box? I asked my mother where she had gotten it from.
"Santa got me it, to give to you."
What a lame excuse I thought. I ignored it any way.
Later that day, after I had my Christmas dinner, I slid the disc into my Wii. It started loading, and then the bright logo came up on the screen.
Super Mario Galaxy 2...
I started a new save with my Mii as the planet. I was pumped. Here we go! It started up smoothly and I played it for a few hours. I loved it! I t was a massive step up from the first game. The story was great. The characters were great. The power ups were great. The music was great. The levels were great. The game was fantastic as an overall experience!
A few weeks later, I was up to the final boss of Bowser. I defeated him in about 2 minutes (well, it is Mario). After I defeated him, he didn't seem right. Something about him was, in a word, weird. He froze in position, not moving a muscle. He shut his eyes for a while, around ten seconds. When he opened them again they were bloodshot, I was confused. He whispered in a voice that was nothing like w
hat he usually sounded:
"So you win... again. I hope you're happy"
Then it just carried on like nothing happened. I felt confused. Bowser would never say anything like that. It was slightly disturbing. Maybe, it was just a bug that the editors forgot to notice.
It was getting late anyway, so I went to bed. I was thinking in my bed. Why did Nintendo let that happen? I fell asleep, and thinking of the joys of playing it tomorrow. I whole new stream of galaxy's for me to play.
I woke up the following morning. Somehow glad, but I don't know why. I got out of bed and into my dressing gown. Put on my fluffy slippers and walked downstairs. My Wii was sitting there, in its usual spot.
I started playing Mario galaxy. And I started "World S". It sounds kinda cool. As I went through the portal from World 6 to said World, I heard Mario's voice. It was very faint, I couldn't really hear it. What I never really understood is that Mario never said anything when he went though the portal. I wasn't really concerned anyway.
I started playing the new levels. They were hard, but rewarding. As I got up to the "Boss Blitz" Galaxy, the music slowed down. Not lots, but enough to notice. I started the Galaxy. But the little jingle, which always plays at the start of a level, didn't play.
All that played was static. It wasn't loud, but it put me on edge. I started the level. I was against Dino Piranha. I knew he was really easy, since having a strong memory of beating him first time in the first game. I started playing. I made the silly mistake of running into him. And I died instantly.
WHAT?! That was totally unfair. First of all, I knew I had 3 hits until I died. Second, I was sure Dino Piranha was NOT hard. I knew, completing the first game 5 times.
I restarted the level once more. The jingle still did not play. It was more static. Except this time, it was louder, about the sound frequency of a person talking normally. I went against Dino Piranha again. But this time I saw him eating the previous Mario's corpse. He has blood on his mouth and flesh in his teeth. I think I could also see an intestine dangling out his mouth.
He stood up and he said in a deep, spine- tingling voice:
"More food for mama."
My character froze in place. Dino Piranha came and ripped Mario's head off.
Game over music played. But it was really static-y. I smelt a burning scent. But I was not sure where it came from. This was terrifying. I was not sure how to react. I remember what my mother said to me 3 weeks ago. "Santa got it me, to give to you." Why would Santa give me this unholy piece of Crap...
The following morning, I was curious, so I went back on the game. I started up my Wii and I went and got the Super Mario Galaxy 2 box.
I noticed on the box, in bright red sharpie, A giant "X" that covered Yoshi's face. I asked my Mum, Dad, Brother & Sister. But all 4 denied doing it.
I went on other levels instead of the Boss Blitz galaxy. I decided to go on Yoshi Star Galaxy. As I passed through each portal to get to each world, I heard Mario's voice every time. He was saying what he said yesterday. But this time, I could hear him.
"Welcome new Galaxy."
Each time was a little louder. Until, the last time, he said it so loud I thought my ear drums would break
I finally got to Yoshi Star. I was relieved that it started normally. I defeated Kamek, the wizard Koopa. And I could access Yoshi. When I burst the egg, blood went everywhere. On the enemy's, on the floor, on Mario. I then saw Yoshi's tattered corpse, his eye out of his socket, limbs missing, coughing up blood.He made a slight yelp, a painful one, and dropped dead. Not only did I throw up in my mouth. But I started crying. This is a true nightmare. I smelt that burning smell again. I quit the galaxy. A textbox popped up, it said:
"Have you read the small text yet?"
I answered No, it said:
"Go on then, read it."
I answered yes, it said:
"I know when you're lying..."
I got out my magnifying glass. The text said:
"You are a true fool, Robert"
It was signed my Shigeru Miyamoto, the guy who was behind Mario. I had a shocked look on my face as I went back to the game. I answered yes this time. I went back to the map screen. I saw fire everywhere, all galaxy's were destroyed, alongside Starship Mario. Lastly, the music was played very slowly, but loudly. I quit the game instantly. I went to put in the disc of Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. Yet I got a message on my letter box in my Wii. I read it:
"Just remember, the fiery pits of hell await you..."
"Welcome New Galaxy"
Several seconds later, my Wii blew up into fiery mess. I had bit's of plastic stuck in my body, I lay there, crying. I got sent to the emergency room instantly. I have been here all this time, telling you my horrifying story. I hope you do believe me, as it has scarred me. No one at school will, so I am sharing it here, on the internet, for all to see. I still don't think I am safe, as I got a get well soon card this morning. I opened it and it said:
"WELCOME NEW GALAXY."
Credited to Iamascaryduck
Originally uploaded on November 18, 2012
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