Why I'm not a lighthouse keeper anymore

I sucked at my job. I made shadow puppets in the big light. It's not funny. A ship crashed. People died. It was like the titanic. There was a selfish bitch that didn't share a door and a man froze to death. They were like 6 feet away from shore. Why didn't they just swim to shore ask. There was a no swimming sign and they were all sticklers for rules.

It was July. It wasn't even cold. It took days for them to die but they just sat there. Eventually they started eating each other. Then someone made a no eating each other rule so they stopped.

One guy married a shark and they had a loving relationship, or so we thought. Turns out they had an open marriage and the shark thought it would be cool but after a while he was sick or the guy banging all the corpses and he got jealous and they broke up. The shark would bring around his new boyfriend but the guy saw it was a play for attention.

Some say if you go to that old lighthouse, you will see a help wanted sign because this happened yesterday.

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Credited to grghbbs 

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