Windows Pasta
I once went to the crappiest flea market in existence, where there was this shady fella who told me to follow him. I did that, and when he motioned me closer he gave me a parcel with a wink, and left me standing there. When I went and bought it for only 99 cents, I unwrapped it and I saw a box of some computer OS. Windows Vista? No, that's what I thought it said.
Windows Pasta. Not only is that the dumbest name for any operating system I've ever heard of, but something about the package was unnerving. First of all, it was just red marker written over the word Vista, which was scribbled out, "Windows Pasta", therefore making it Windows Windows Pasta. Instead of the Windows logo, there was a plate of spaghetti with something on top of it. I pulled the box closer to my face and I noticed a severed head on the top of the plate of spaghetti.
Why would that be there? I was nervous by the time I got in my car, but I decided not to worry about it.
I drove home and I immediately went into my room and popped it in to my computer, where I was greeted by a generic console-type screen, before the computer officially started.
After it did all that, the loading screen appeared. The windows vista logo was there for only a second before it was replaced by the spaghetti-head one. Everything was red and black, too, and for some reason, as the loading screen was there, the bar was filling up with what looked like hyper-realistic blood. And after that went away, it was replaced by the installer screen.
There was that stupid spaghetti picture again. That was really starting to get on my nerves, but I froze when I saw the text above the loading bar when it reached 10 percent.
"That's not spaghetti sauce."
I chuckled just a little bit, and It then got to 20 percent.
"That's a real picture."
It stayed on the text until it reached 50 percent.
"Don't you like it?"
I didn't know what to think of that until it got to 60 percent, which is where I got really nervous.
"You'll be hating life when this bar gets to 100."
I didn't know what to do, and I was really scared, I was about to turn my PC off, but it was already at 80 percent.
"Don't you dare turn that computer off, bitch."
I couldn't believe the computer was insulting me, and moved my hand and once away from it. When it got to 99 percent, I saw a strange and scary image appear for a split second, and I don't even mean it was on there hardly, because the time it was on the screen must have been one nanosecond. After everything got done installing, it went to the account creation screen, but it told me that I could not create an account, and I had to use the guest account.
The desktop appeared, and the background was of a house in the woods. It was really creepy, but I opened up Microsoft Paint, just to play, and there was already a picture on there. It was a shadow man, but he was getting closer and closer to the screen. I tried closing it, but it said "Would you like to save changes to untitled?" and before I could click no the shadow was up to the screen, screaming, bursting my eardrums with this scratchy sound. I clicked no and exhaled, scared as the box went away.
I then tried to go into Internet Explorer, but every time I'd go to a website, a pop up would happen and it would show 2 Girls One Cup! I got sick and vomited, and I tried to play some games. Well, you might know of the one called Purble Place on Vista, yeah, well this was different. It said Hell Place and it had scary pictures on it!
I then got off and a message box appeared that said SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE INITIATED!
I ran, and ran, and ran, and my house exploded!
Written by Meaty
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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