World Nine Nitpicks: May FOTM Compilation (also a Collab too)

Author's note: I'm gonna be posting the FOTM compilations as actual pages. These will be FREE TO EDIT, so add any Nitpicks or correct mine. Just follow the rules and beat these stories down.

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Alright. Due to a change in style, I'll be doing the nominees every month from least votes to most votes in order. With that, let's take a trip to the Special World and beat the fuck out of these stories.

Metroid Horror (by Phantom1112)

I have minimal experience with Metroid, sorry if this is partially inaccurate. This dates back to 2011, meaning it's an early gaming pasta.

So I recently purchased Metroid Prime: Trilogy off of Gamestop's online store. As the name implies, it's the MP trilogy, all three games, the first two remade for the Wii Remote controls (which run very smooth, I highly recommend it).

This is a creepypasta (at least it tries to be), not an ad.

Anyway, I was playing MP 2, which I actually hadn't played before now, seeing as how I sold my GameCube about a year before its release.

This isn't relevant to the story.

As I was playing, making it through Agon Wastes relatively quickly, moving on to the swamp area. I went through the portals, same as normal, but occasionally, coming back to the Light World, the game would seemingly bug up, the frame rate dropping quite a bit, I shrugged it off as maybe a small scratch on the disc, or my Wii reading it oddly, figuring I'd take it out and check it afterwards, not wanting to stop playing at the moment.

This is a Kirby's Nightmareland level of run-on sentence.

I soon got the Morphball Boost, being quite annoyed with the bugs within the Light World portals, growing significantly worse and more aggravating.

I could be wrong, but isn't it formatted as "Morph Ball"?

Eventually I began hearing echoing sounds within the portals, like men screaming (yes, only men) and cries of animals, maybe the Ing or Splinters.

...why did you have to clarify it was only men?

Getting confused on a Dark World puzzle that was actually very trivial, I decided to return to the Light World and explore places I could not previously go to. That's when the game got weird: I stepped into the portal, same as usual, but during the transition animation, something was wrong. A loud scream blared through my TV, odd seeing as how the volume was set to 10(the max being 60).

Alright, NO. You had NO REASON to clarify the max was 60. 10 is a low number, and even if you're running it on a fucking projector, that's still a medium volume. It was fine enough for people to interpret that the volume was low! Hell, you could've said "as how the volume was low" and that would've been miles better!

The scream was nearly ear piercing, a man in pain, A LOT of pain, during which my screen was frozen at the transition screen. Then I finally went through the portal, but wasn't in the Light World, instead I was in some disgusting, deformed realm, a possible mixture of the Light and Dark Worlds, except, not.

Why would you clarify something you contradict literally two words later?

It's hard to explain, the environment was that of the Light World, but tinted with darker, the plants were Dark Aether plants except twisted, blood dripping off them, bodies of GF troops being pierced by them (along with a few Space Pirate bodies).

I looked at the sky, which was blood red,

Ah yes, the "red (the color of BLOOD)" trope.

not the normal grey and purple of Dark Aether and certainly not the sunny or cloudy sky in Aether. When I scanned the bodies, it described a very gruesome death, which is typical of Metroid Prime at times, except these were pages upon pages long, describing every detail (of which I vaguely recall at this point).

Remembers every detail except the new content he needs to write. Classic Metroid fanboy.

One stuck in my head though, a Space Pirate, whose death read "After having it's legs clawed and eventually ripped off, it was seemingly tackled, being stabbed countless times in the torso, followed by having fingers shoved into it's eyes, and into it's brain, inevitably killing it." It's legs, as read, were laying next to the Pirates body, ripped apart, and it's brains oozing from its decaying eye sockets. Its corpse rotted, muscle and bone showing under its oddly realistic skin.

...pretty generic, you can do better than that.

I turned from the bodies, running across a bridge, and into a dome, full of GF troops chained to the wall, which looked weird seeing as how it's not an animation in the game, so it was sort of stretched out. Along with this, there were bodies dangling from the ceiling, like you find in the beginning of the game, except blood was dripping from their broken visors, and eye hanging out of ones socket, all seemed so real, not the graphics that are in the game by default.

We don't need a rundown of what the game normally looks like. Also, how would you know all this if you hadn't played Echoes until right now? My best guess is he played after the story ended, but we shouldn't need to figure that out.

I heard the "Beacon received" message your ship sends you, then my map screen came up, a loud screech playing while my map moved to the location. What was there was not a question mark, but a skull and cross bones (Jolly Roger, death, whatever you wanna call it).

...

...

PEOPLE KNOW WHAT A FUCKING SKULL AND CROSSBONES MEAN IN THESE SHIT STORIES!

Despite this I went there, thinking something bad would happen if I didn't. Getting there was easy, what I was supposed to get there was hard, I hard to go through a morphball maze, seemed easy enough, but when I switched to morphball, Samus simply laid on the ground, bleeding, screaming, her head twisting to face me (she was face first on the ground, mind you).

To be fair, I'd scream at the player at the mere concept of the Morph Ball. How does that shit work anyway?

She proceeded to remove her helmet, but I knew all there was under it was what you see through the visor, or, so I though. Upon taking it off I saw a horrifying face, mangled, bloodied, ripped apart as if something had been scratching at it. Paralyzed in fear, I didn't move, didn't even know I was blinking or breathing, just starring in pure fear as she seemed to whisper to me with mangled lips. But what she whispered was not in English, It was a combination of words and letters from many languages, German, French, Italian, Russian, the list goes on.

And there it is, the "FORIN LENGUIJ SUCH SCARE" cliche.

She then began the tug at her legs, her body bending in a way I'd never seen hers(or anyone's for that matter) bend in. Twitching as she bent over, maybe trying to straighten her body, she began tugging at her legs, oddly, since, again the animation is not in the game. She pulled off her left leg, nothing happened, no blood, no mangled mess, as if the leg was put on the same was, a clean cut there with a weird texture, a green, pukey color.

...okay?

Then it made me scan a nearby log, despite not playing as Samus, her body still on the ground, I hesitated to read it, calming down a bit, but I did. Upon opening it I heard another tortured scream. The log simply read "Please Die." I actually laughed a bit, thinking it was ironic to say such a thing so politely.

I laughed too, that shit was hilarious.

Then I was forced to scan another log, opening it, no scream this time. This picture was a face, looking like mine in a way, but mangled, not sure how it knew what I looked like, maybe the sensor saw me? No, its not able to see people, or anything, for that matter. But the face looked just like me, every detail of mine, then an animation started in the log, a bunch of small Metroids stuck to my head, sucking it dry, making it look like a raisin.

Hopefully it means I don't have to Nitpick another pasta from you.

Despite how fucked up it was to watch, I again laughed, thinking it to be odd, until the text finally appeared.

This guy is VERY nonchalant at this game so far. Maybe the protagonist knows he's in a shitty story written by a Metroid fanboy who couldn't make decent horror for his life.

This time it wasn't so nice, and it was slightly longer. Reading "I told you nicely, you laughed at me, mocked me, you will pay for that." After getting out of the log, I saw hundreds of bodies falling all around me from the sky, all GF troopers. all without helmets, all had my head, that mangled head I saw in the log.

I like to imagine they all fell simultaneously. Makes it a lot funnier.

At this point I completely forgot I was even playing Metroid, it felt more like Dead Space than anything, but, oddly, Dead Space was like a field of blossoms compared to this.

I mean, not really much has happened that's genuinely scary.

My camera was forced down to face a trooper, as if someone physically pushed my head down in-game. I heard breathing behind me (in-game), but could not turn around to see who (or what) it was, but was instead facing myself, bleeding, mangled.

A text log came up, reading "This will be you soon enough," then a message came up, an options box I had never seen in the game, saying "Scared Yet? Yes/No" I wanted so badly to select no, but made the mistake of saying yes. Then I heard a laugh, the laugh of the man who's screams I had heard possibly. Shortly after my game returned to the menu, but instead of the barrel of Samus' gun (the title screen of the trilogy), it was that damn face again! My face!

Ah yes, because every CPW reader has dementia and needs things spelled out.

Since then I've been scared shitless to do just about anything.

How did you go from nonchalant to pantshitting in 30 seconds?

I isolate myself in my room, doing schoolwork, but I rarely leave. I have yet to touch the game, I loaned it to my friend, he said he had no problems. I know it wasn't a dream, my dreams are usually pretty real but I know the difference between life and a dream. I still see that face, in cloud formations, in my own reflection at times!

It's almost like, hear me out, the face was of himself!

This has changed my life, I've always believed in supernatural coincidences, but never experienced one quite as horrifying as this! I even crave horror! I could go days watch horror movies or reading creepy pastas,

No you fucking can't.

but this, this is too much, even for me!

There was barely any gore and the scariest thing was hilarious. That was nowhere NEAR too much.

But what was too much was this pasta's length, and I still have three more to go over. Let's move on.

Dead Fred (by PlantyThePottedPlant)

Okay, this one's themed off of Courage. I've seen a few episodes, but again, my Nitpicks may be flawed.

I was out late at night, returning home from a dinner party with my family. My way home took me past the local cemetery, and I decided to visit the grave of a recently deceased friend of mine. It was rather eerie, walking past all those dark stones and trees in that sea of sepulchers, but I wished to pay my respects.

If only I hadn't.

Asshole.

If only I'd kept driving that night, gotten home, and buried myself under the covers. But I didn't. I was a little drunk from the party, and waltzing through a graveyard late at night registered as a fine idea in my mind.

Dumbass.

I eventually found my way to his grave, stumbling in the dark. Upon finding that flat chunk of rock that bluntly announced my friend's departure, I was surprised to find a disk there, among the flowers.

This disk didn't have a professional label; it was the kind you could buy by the hundreds, the kind to burn files on. It was in a plain, square case, with no writing on the clear plastic. The only words were scribbled onto the CD's white sticker; using my phone to illuminate the disk, I read the two words scrawled there, hastily and unceremoniously in black marker.

They said, "Dead Fred."

What really perplexed me was the handwriting; it was clearly my friend's. He used to own a video rental store, with hundreds of old VHS tapes that couldn't be found anywhere else.

...And there's the plot device.

He had written the receipts by hand, and it seemed to match up with the disk's title...and, after his recent suicide, his note had been found, covered in gibberish scribbled on with the same, messy script.

How did you recognize all this while drunk?

Intrigued, I wondered who had left this here. I hadn't seen anyone with it at the funeral.

You don't understand who the disc with the handwriting of your friend who worked at a video rental store came from?

Tears were starting to burn my eyes. I missed my friend so much, and this disk must have been something very important to him, to be on his grave like this. Then why hadn't he told me about it? We told everything to each other. It wasn't right for him to keep the secret to himself, carrying it to the grave.

How dare he leave me out?

Once again, asshole.

Also, he probably kept it from you for a good reason.

In a fit of drunken rage, I swatted the tears from my eyes and stormed out of the cemetery, disk in hand.

Only later, when I arrived home and was already popping the disk into my computer, did I realize what I had done. I had taken something off of my closest friend's grave, something I knew nothing about. It wasn't right; this was worse than him keeping secrets from me.

Once again, dumbass.

Bitterly, I went to eject the disk before the WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO? OPEN DISK WITH ITUNES, VIEW FILES, etc menu popped on screen when, unexpectedly, a video opened.

This surprised me for two reasons: one, I had assumed the disk had either audio, image, or text files. I hadn't even thought it could be video. Two, it hadn't asked me if I wanted to open the video with so-and-so program. It just started playing.

...very scary, author.

I like how the first point is just "I didn't know this" and the second is "OH NO GLITCH"

It was an episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog, my friend's favorite show. I hadn't really ever been into the show myself. I found it very disturbing, and had only watched the first season or so. So, when the title, "Dead Fred," appeared murkily on screen, I didn't know that something was wrong. I had seen the original "Freaky Fred" episode with my friend once, and I assumed this was just another episode starring the deranged, poetic barber.

Honestly, that's why Courage pastas barely ever work because the show is already pretty eerie.

Disgusted at myself for taking the disk, I went to exit the video only to find that my cursor was frozen. The keys rendered no assistance either, so I reluctantly turned up the volume on my speakers and started watching the video.

...and there's the "I couldn't blankety blankety blank" to keep logical solutions out of here.

It started out just like "Freaky Fred," with Fred on the bus and Muriel spreading that yellow quilt over the bed. Fred wasn't reciting his poem, though; in fact, there was apparently no audio to go along with the video.

I thought that it must have just been the original episode with the title shooped until I saw Courage. The small dog was looking out a window, glaring down at Fred with a mixture of fear and malice in his eyes.

Courage turned from the window and looked angrily into the distance...then he started having flashbacks. All that shit he had always had to put up with, all the terror, all the abuse...it came crashing down.

Y'know, this would really be out-of-character for any other cartoon, but I feel for Courage it's just a reasonable crash out.

Courage was crying in his frantic, animated style as he ran downstairs and to the basement. He started rummaging through a trunk, throwing out various objects (an ugly mask, a shrunken head, and other objects coordinating with the show's signature, disturbing style) until he pulled out a cartoon double-barreled shotgun, tears still streaming down his face.

Why are you describing how the show is animated?

Lugging the thing upstairs, he stood, aiming it at the doorway, tiny paw on the huge trigger. The adventurous background music started playing; however, the video was still without sound effects.

Muriel ran excitedly downstairs (I guessed that the doorbell had rang, as I couldn't hear anything) and swung it open to greet her nephew.

There stood Fred, with his wide grin and messy hair, looking just as freaky as ever. He opened his mouth to speak, looked down, and saw Courage standing there, trembling shotgun aimed at his chest. A look of shock and fright overcame Fred before a shot rang through the house.

By 'the house,' I mean MY house. The shot was the only thing with sound other than the music, and I shat a brick.

And then Courage had hyper-realistic eyes and killed you.

I had just expected a "bang" flag to pop out of the gun, but no. Fred stumbled backwards as cherry-red blood started spouting out of his chest, spraying everything in the house. Fred fell to the floor, dead. Muriel started sobbing. Courage looked horrified at what he had done, and ran upstairs to the bathroom. He was soon locked in, as what happens in the normal episode.

At this point, I was a little shocked. This was disturbing, even for courage.

Like the noun? It isn't capitalized...

For the next few minutes, Courage sat on the floor, sobbing, fur spattered in blood. Then, words started coming through my speakers, long and low.

"Hello, new friend."

Courage looked up, looked around, and saw nothing.

"My name is Fred."

Courage stood up and spun around. He went to the window, trying to find the source of the voice. Muriel and Eustace could be seen dragging the body to Eustace's truck, a trail of blood streaming behind it. Muriel was still crying.

"The words you hear are in your head."

Courage backs away from the window, looking at the shotgun beside him. The flashbacks return, all the name calling, all the times he'd risked his life to receive no reward, all the horrible things he'd seen. All the things Eustace had done to him, even after he'd tried so hard.

Again, reasonable crash out.

"I say, I said, my name is Fred."

Courage picked up the cartoon weapon, balancing the barrel on the windowsill, aiming down his sights at Eustace's head.

I like how it tries to still be cartoonesque even though someone is about to fucking die.

"And you've been very..."

Courage pulled the trigger. In a fraction of a second, Eustace's head exploded into a goopy mess. He dropped on the body of Fred, his falling on top.

"Naaaaughty..."

Muriel screamed mutely. There was no bang of a shot this time, either; the audio was still off, except for the creepy poem.

Why does this story have an obsession with sound effects and audio?

As courage turned the gun on himself, I yanked the computer's plug out of the wall. I stood up, pacing the room, thoroughly disturbed. My friend's suicide note had only said the word "naughty" several dozen times.

And you couldn't have unplugged it earlier?

"Hello, new friend."

I jumped. I must've left the speakers on, and just unplugged the computer. Although, the video still should have gone off, so it made no sense.

I went back to turn off my speakers, when I saw that they were off.

"My name is Fred."

I had turned them off after the first gunshot... long before I had started hearing the poem.

"The words you hear are in your head."

They were in my head. And they have been in my head ever since I watched that video.

You're about to kill yourself, so it couldn't have been that long.

I can't take it anymore. I'm going insane... have gone insane, I suppose... or maybe I've just gone bad.

Oh, YOU'VE gone insane? You try being forced to source edit having to put three single quotes at nearly every sentence because there's TOO MANY FUCKING LINE BREAKS.

It's too much. I'm going now. I had to tell someone, so I'm telling you..

Goodbye, my friend, for I'll be dead. I'm putting a bullet through my head. I'm glad that you've read all that I've said. But, now, I must do something... Naaaaughty...

See ya. Honestly, he kinda deserved it.

Halfway there and I'm contemplating my existence. Let's keep going.

Psycho Crystal.HTML, author unknown

Don't write pastas about your OCs unless they're the protagonist.

As an artist and avid Sonic the Hedgehog fan, I have realized over time that creating mentally unstable characters is a tragic idea, especially if they have had a rather abusive and/or traumatic past. I know, I know, call me crazy. But I speak the truth, so please bear with me here.

Let's see... Artist, Sonic fan, creates mentally unstable characters... yep, they definitely use Tumblr.

My name is Samantha, though most people I know call me 'Sammi' for short.

Yep, def a Tumblr user.

I'm pretty much the tech support girl in my family, but I should really stay away from electronics for a very long while. Why? Well, let's just say my characters, especially my Sonic fan character Crystal the Hedgehog, have unique personalities that really "bring them to life." If you've read about my first experience with Crystal being in an online game and thought that was bad,

I mean, I thought it was bad, but not in the way you'd think.

well, all I can say to you is that you don't know the half of it. Things, surprisingly, have gotten worse about a year later, after my father generously decided to buy me a new computer, even after I smashed the old one to tiny pieces.

Your dad is either a dumbass or an angel.

It was July twelfth, a refreshing Tuesday morning during the Summer Break. I was simply surfing the web for funny pictures and replying to some messages from my friends. Later, after about an hour and a half of internet browsing, I received a comment on my profile from a person nicknamed "Mental-Atrocity," which said that someone has stolen Psycho Crystal and placed her in an online game. Next to the text was the appropriate link to the website where the game was located. Enraged at this unexpected occurrence, I pressed the palm of my hand hard against the mouse and forced the cursor to mash down on the link.

Ah yes, because we needed an in depth description of how you clicked the link.

The computer led me to a bizarre website approximately four seconds later. The background was just plain black with several orange splatters that varied in size. In the center of the website was the game's loading screen; a slow, dark tune hummed soundly through the computer's speakers as I waited. As I sat there, I noticed that the background wasn't just two different hues. The orange splatters looked somewhat like realistic, carrot-colored blood sprayed all over the place, and the gloomy black portion behind the splatters also seemed a bit strange; depressing even.

Have we as a society devolved into thinking carrot juice and the color black are scary?

In a flash, I assumed that this website was just a Trojan computer virus waiting to happen, but my attempt to leave was futile. The 'back' button didn't work, and neither did the 'close' button.

There's the logic-defying plot advancement, guys!

The game suddenly finished loading, and upon noticing, the main menu was a well-animated pixel art of Psycho Crystal's head in an uncanny, colorfully frenzied atmosphere. Cheerfully mesmerizing music began to chime in a loop, and I almost instantly clicked on the play button when it appeared onscreen. At that moment, the only thing on my mind was to quickly beat the game and scroll through the ending credits to see if they really stole Psycho Crystal or not. I then heard a strangely hypnotic female cackle right before the monitor shut itself off, immediately reminding me of my horrendous experience with the first online game where Crystal was the antagonist.

Oh fuck, is this gonna be another Sonic.EXE (or as I call it, SEXE) ripoff?

Nervously, I turned the monitor back on, only to find the select file menu. I clicked on the first empty file, and the game went to the character selection menu. To make matters worse, the three playable characters were ones that my online friends have created. Patrick the Hedgehog, Jeb the Hedgefox, and Sky the Echidna.

Wait, hold on... This IS a Sonic.EXE ripoff, but it's a sequel to ANOTHER Sonic.EXE ripoff.

All of the sprites were well-made and detailed; maybe even a bit too detailed.

This babbling fucker when people are good at pixel art:

Their smiles were almost obviously hiding their acute panic, as if they knew death was going to be inevitable and dreadful. I felt sympathetic for them, but I wasn't sure what my options were on helping the miserable characters, so I just decided to continue on with my little mission.

Dude, you're aware they're gonna die and you're still confused.

Patrick the Hedgehog was the first character in the menu.

Your friend named their Sonic OC fucking Patrick??

At first, his facial expression appeared blank as his various spikes and baggy, black pants swayed in the pixilated wind; his yellow shoes reflecting the virtual sunlight while the artificial smile remained on his cheeks. However, his teal fur stood up once the cursor rolled over him. A fearful expression instantaneously appeared on his face as his body became stiff and paralyzed in apprehension. Since Patrick had a bit of an arrogant personality, it was very unlikely of him to act this way, so I decided to choose a different character.

why are we describing so much

I then glanced over at Jeb the Hedgefox.

Jeb, at first glance, seemed to be his usual self: slightly doleful and hesitant. His scarlet fur glimmered calmly whilst his two thick fox tails deliberately flowed from side to side. When the cursor landed on him, though, he seemed as though he was on the verge of crying. His tails were wrapped around his torso, as if he was protecting his internal organs, and his black gloves covered most of his face to defend himself. The spikes on the back of his head pointed outward to provide another sort of defense mechanism as his breathing appeared to accelerate. Knowing how feeble Jeb was, I decided to check on Sky the Echidna, that last available character.

It's not JUST a bad Sonic OC, it's also an overdesigned one too. What is it with Sonic fans and overdesigning characters? If you can't at least doodle them in five minutes, it's too much. Also, their name is Jeb. No comment.

Sky, being the magnificent woman she was, looked as glorious as ever. Her pink dreadlocks waved around rhythmically while her light and dark blue jumpsuit shone peacefully. Her long boots also scuffled along in a cute manner as her facial blush intensified. Once I positioned the cursor on top of her abdomen, however, she immediately appeared to be absolutely appalled. She nodded her head 'no' rapidly as her body trembled nervously. When I moved the cursor away from her, she sighed in relief and continued swaying gracefully like she was moments ago. I felt really bad for the three characters, so I just sat there motionless and indecisive. But then I realized that If I was ever going to read the credits, I was to beat the game, and in order to do that, I had to pick a character to start off with. So, I quickly clicked on Patrick, who began to weep hysterically for two seconds before the menu switched to the loading screen of the first level, which was titled, "Act One- DEtaChMenT iS kEy."

Why do people unironically think typing in the Mocking SpongeBob pattern is scary?

When the stage began, it appeared to be located in an old graveyard. Distorted, melancholic music commenced after Patrick looked around in paranoia; another thing he normally wouldn't do. The virtual moon was a skull; the graves within the yard were death itself. My finger pushed down on the right arrow key and forced him to lope forward. While he continued to sprint, I kept seeing several spirits of deceased Mobians fading in and out of view as they soared through the murky, pixilated sky.

Suddenly, Hill Act 1.

Just then, a small group of zombified Mobians marched, crawled, and trudged towards Patrick. In a panic, I mashed down the spacebar a numerous amount of times, making Patrick slice the zombies open with his retractable 'knuckle knives' as quickly as possible. Even more zombies emerged from both sides of the screen and the ground; I continued smashing the spacebar, which sustained Patrick's frenzied attacking. About ten minutes later, everything stopped and settled down. No enemies were in sight, and Patrick seemed to calm down just a tad bit. But, just before I was about to relax as well, the strange, demonic female cackle sounded again.

We went from ripping off Sonic.EXE to ripping off I HATE YOU.

"Patrick!" It snarled petulantly, "You do realize this is my family's cemetery, right? Do you also realize that you have just annihilated most of my family members? I sincerely hope you know that there is such a thing called karma."

Your family members tried to kill him, dumbass!

As Patrick began to shudder and hyperventilate, two gigantic, gooey, black claws arose from the ground; its nails sharp and ready to carve anyone who deliberately opposed their power.

"You are a fool, Patrick the Hedgehog, for underestimating my person! For believing that I was nothing more than a pathetic weakling in desperate need of a defender! You shall pay the price for your unforgivable actions!"

I haven't read the first story, but this was never implied unless it was in the first story. YOU SHOULDN'T NEED CONTEXT FOR TWO STORIES WITH THE SAME DAMN FORMULA!

The two demented claws suddenly caved in and slammed down on top of poor Patrick. His blood oozed all over the place while the claws lifted and submerged back into the ground to return to the bloody hell whence they came. His freshly rearranged corpse was then revealed; every body part was completely detached from his torso. His face was slightly concave and hardly recognizable, and it made me sick to my stomach. The cackle echoed again as the screen faded to black. Would you like to try again?

1. What is it with pasta makers always overly describing gore? Nobody actually cares.

2. Why aren't quotes in this pasta put in quotations?

Read orange text in the center that eventually faded away. The character selection menu appeared again, and what I saw then was completely inhumane. Jeb and Sky were still swaying to and fro as they were previously, only it was a bit slower this time. Their fear was no longer hidden, and in Patrick's position was his disfigured head with a rather despondent facial expression. Obviously, it was not selectable, but this also meant that I was to decide on another character, because this horrid game was not over yet.

Dude, just unplug the damn computer or use Inspect Element to find the credits.

Next in line was Jeb, so I clicked on him hastily. He then began to scream in horror as the menu faded to the loading screen once more. This time, the upcoming level was titled, "Act Two- PlAytImE."

More signs of Sonic.EXE off-ripping.

The stage began, and was inconveniently located in a demented, nightmarish toy box. A sinister, xylophone-sounding melody began to play, and it was peculiarly catchy in a morbid kind of way. Different types of toys began to fly, roll, and hop in Jeb's direction, and I quickly clobbered the spacebar yet again, causing him to whack the enemies with his tails and fists. As he journeyed on throughout the plastic wasteland, obstacles of all sorts were appearing out of nowhere and made the level extremely complicated and frustrating. I ended up having Jeb fly over large candles, run away from a colossal slinky, and dodge a malevolent wind-up toy's quick attacks. I thought I was on the verge of completing this level, but my luck ran out when that demonic voice drifted in from the background yet again.

You know, this actually ISN'T as bad as Sonic.EXE. At least the levels have a semblance of challenge instead of being Hold Right Simulator 2012.

"Such a frail, yet audacious youngster you are, Jeb. It's too bad you have to die now; you were really one of the best friends I've ever had throughout my entire lifetime."

No context is provided as to why. In Act 1 some context was provided, but here it's only because the plot demands it.

Immediately after that, two humungous wooden building blocks with spikes facing Jeb instantly converged from both sides of the screen, completely puncturing and piercing every fiber of his physical being. The block on the left side of the screen had the letter 'J' engraved in the middle of it; the one on the right side had the letter 'H', which most likely stood for "Jeb Hedgefox."

...why though?

His blood dripped down nonstop like a waterfall before his weary, lifeless head hung downward, and my eyes began to water in total astonishment. The screen faded again to black with the orange text yet again.

Imprudent little child, did you really think you could overpower me?

The character selection menu appeared for the third time. Patrick's head looked as if it had been rotting while as I resumed playing; Jeb's body was standing limply with gashes and internal organs gushing out of his sides. I was now on the brink of bawling my eyes out, but I was so focused and astounded that I simply could not.

You chose to do this, dumbass!

Sky, being the final selectable character, seemed utterly petrified at her surroundings. Her body quivered wildly from intense worry, and when I pitifully clicked on her, she collapsed onto her knees and grasped her head fretfully prior to the menu fading to the loading screen. This final level was shockingly titled, "Act Three- EteRnALLy aPpreHeNSiVe."

Why are the different location individual acts? Acts in Sonic always stay in the same location or some modification. Heck, even the original Sonic.EXE used zones instead!

Sky the Echidna found herself trapped in some kind of long-forgotten castle dungeon; an extremely obscure level. Its music played at a very sluggish pace and low frequency while there were all sorts of grotesque sounds, such as prisoners being tortured and begging for mercy; or the occasional slamming of a jail cell booming in the distance. Cautiously, I pressed the right arrow key and she tottered ahead. Perplexingly, there were no foes in sight, but every second that passed by made this level seem more and more frightening.

"Yeah, I ran out of ideas, so I just copied the last level of Sonic.EXE"

The sounds grew shriller, the background duskier, and the music became practically unbearable. The unfortunate Echidna became completely dismal as she neared a massive, dented wooden door, and on the center of the door in huge letters was inscribed, "KEEP OUT." In an attempt to follow the warning, I compelled Sky to the other side of the screen to try and find another exit, but it was useless. She was simply pushing onto the wall as if she was moving it, thus meaning I was required to go through that eerie door.

Your friends's OCs are as dumb as you.

She entered the door upon the push of the upper arrow key, and inside was the most bizarre thing that I have probably ever seen. The spacious room was mostly empty, and there were cracks and chinks along the wall. Small amounts of blood were scattered around the floor, and in the top center of the room was none other than Psycho Crystal, wretchedly chained up against her will. The cuffs completely enveloped her wrists and ankles; bruises and abrasions lined up along her entirely famished and abused canine-structured body. Her light teal fur was absolutely soiled; covered from head to toe in dirt and grime as was her dark blue markings. She was asleep, and when Sky walked a bit too close to the beast, her eyes sprung open; purely and fully orange with rage. Black tears trickled down her face and engulfed her body, causing her to become this odd, viscous creature of corruption. Psycho Crystal liquefied herself and sunk out of the chain's tight grasp.

And it's conveniently as Sky enters the room.

Then, she plummeted down and landed on the floor, all the while solidifying herself back to the way she was. Her breath was heavily audible and intimidating, causing Sky to step back in fear.

"You," sneered Psycho Crystal menacingly, "You have destroyed every bit of my kind-hearted nature! My love life! Even my own self esteem! For that, you shall suffer the consequences!"

Again, no context or worldbuilding, just pointless violence.

Sky began to panic and scream, and so did I. I couldn't bear the thought of what type of torment she was in for. But before I could manage pressing another key, Psycho Crystal's body intermixed into the wall. The goo extended across the entire room, turning pitch-black, and then it transformed into the horrendously grotesque features of her sinister face. I screamed in shock as the computer shook violently, monitor and all, but pounding on the newly possessed apparatus did nothing to stop the commotion.

And then Crystal became real and hopefully killed the protagonist.

"I have suffered long enough! Now it is your turn!"

The slow background music suddenly became a tragically suspenseful surge of fury.

Her thunderous shouts of hatred blast through the speakers and caused me to fall back onto the floor. I scurried back up onto my feet to see what would happen next, and the outcome was simply terrifying. Psycho Crystal's mouth opened wide, and as she screeched like a banshee, the darkness burst out of her and became a swirl of anguish; engulfing the screen in a matter of seconds. As the chaos subsided, the orange text calmly floated in from the left side of the screen.

You've made a big mistake by clicking on that link, Samantha.

The word 'petrified' was an understatement if you were to describe how I felt at that very moment.

This is a fangame- it uses your OC so the creators are likely to know your name.

My body was totally still; sweat poured down my forehead nonstop, and I remained frozen even after the character selection menu came into view. Patrick's head was as putrid as ever, Jeb's protruding insides were turning a sickly green color, and Sky looked unbelievably unearthly; every limb was bent in an impossible way, and her head was twisted backwards as blood seeped out of the many cuts and scrapes she had received.

...more pointless violence.

Tears gushed down as I sobbed loudly at these characters' misfortunes. All of a sudden, black ooze poured out of the bottom of the computer and down the walls of my room. I flinched back and stood up from my seat abruptly as fear coursed through my veins. The computer monitor flickered on and off while a malicious snicker crawled through the entire house. Then I realized that this whole doing was because of Psycho Crystal. After about a minute or two of this horror, everything stopped to a standstill.

"Won't you play a game with me, Samantha dear?" whispered a tenderly demonic voice from the other side of my bedroom.

I turned around and looked at the corner of my desk, only to find that Crystal the Hedgehog doll sitting there patiently. Its plastic was incredibly melted and evenly coated with the same strange black goop.

More Sonic.EXE plot points.

How can this be? I thought I got rid of the damned thing a long time ago!

Angrily, I clutched onto the slippery action figure, snapped it in half, and flung each piece out the window. Right after I did that, my room, along with the rest of the house, reverted back to normal.

The computer was turned off, so I cautiously walked up to it and pressed the power button to turn it back on. I nearly had a heart attack at what popped up afterwards; perfectly lifelike images of Patrick's, Jeb's, and Sky's corrupted bodies.

"Help us, Sammi . . . save us . . . rescue us," they whispered in unison.

Without thinking, I bashed the monitor in repeatedly until my fist was bleeding badly. I then picked up the busted machine, went outside, and threw it away in the garbage bin without a hassle.

Do you ever take any logical choices? Your dad is gonna be pissed you destroyed ANOTHER computer.

Everything became fine after that, but every time I go to sleep at night, I always see those three characters murmuring and pleading for help. I'm not sure who created the game, whether it was a vulgar-minded person who decided to taint my mind or if it was Psycho Crystal herself, but I will never in my life construct another psychopathic character ever again. Psycho Crystal has haunted my life, and if you're not careful about creating a character, the same thing might happen to you.

"What kind of moral is 'never make edgelord OCs or they'll possess your computer'" -Anonymous user #1, 2025

One left... End my suffering.

At least the last one's short.

Helleon, author unknown

Sun and Moon don't have gyms. Did the author even play the game?

I got Pokemon Sun and Moon for my 3ds yesterday and I was very excited about it. However, something very bad happened a few hours later.

This guy unintentionally summarized every fucking Pokemon pasta ever in one sentence.

I loaded the game and started with Litten as my starter. I played for hours and my Litten had reached lvl 55 and was now an Incineroar. With that pokemon I won 5 gym badges and became an excellent player.

(PikaFur) I don't know what it is about this sentence, but it absolutely reeks of horrible writing. But, please (don't), continue on. (also Decidueye would of been my pick, but Incineroar is good too)

However, before I could get to the 6th gym, I talked to a guy who had a free Eevee. He said these words:

"No matter what you will do, please help me with this Eevee. It is very unstable and may get out of control sometimes. Please take it away from me."

I was scared by these words, but I got it.

This is normal dialogue. Yes, it's a bit out of place, but still normal dialogue.

It was a lvl 65 Eevee.

I decided to train it first by winning some battles, but I saw that this certain Eevee was very unusual.

It was so overpowered that it could kill literally everything with Take Down. I won more and more battles after that. I wanted to evolved into an Umbreon, so I could beat the 6th gym easier.

When I reached lvl 66, Eevee started to evolve.

6th gym, level 66... I think we all know where this is going.

I thought that I could get an Umbreon (because it was nighttime), but instead, it evolved into a Pokemon that no one has seen before.

Its name was Helleon. It had a red skin, dark red eyes, sharp claws at his feet, and a tail similar to the devil's. But the weirdest feature was that it was a devil-type pokemon and that all stats were 666. I looked at the Pokedex and I couldn't believe what it said. It said:

"Helleon is going to kill everything in the world"

I thought it was a joke, so I kept Helleon.

Wait, so you were scared by normal dialogue, but this you pass off as a joke?

I saw that it had a new Devil-type move called Hellfire and it had a power and accuracy of 666, which meant that it was the most unsusual yet most powerful Pokemon in the world.

The 6th gym was no problem. Helleon killed everything with its Hellfire attack.

But then something strange happened. The gym leader was dead.

I still thought that it was a joke,

Are you actually stupid?

so I continued to win more trainers and I manager to reach the 7th gym. This time I won very easily as Helleon won once again by using Hellfire... WITHOUT PRESSING THE ATTACK BUTTON!!!!

All caps, overuse of exclamation points... yup, the author is 13 max.

This meant that Helleon was battling on its own and without commands. Also, it killed the gym leader as well this time and the gym leader's pokemon. Not only that, Helleon killed one of my best Pokemon, a Dragonite.

Oh no, Pokemon die. That doesn't happen normally. Every single fucking Pokemon pasta does this.

I was frustrated a lot, but I made progress and defeated the 8th and final gym. The same thing as before happened, but Helleon killed this time another of my Pokemon, a Magmortar.

With Magmortar dead too, I only stayed with Helleon and Incineroar. I went to face the elite four and this time, Helleon was way mire agressive, killing anyone within a few seconds. The first member was easy, the first was easier, the third was a piece of cake, and the last one was defeated within a second, A WHOLE DAMN SECOND!

After the battle, I noticed one thing that angered me a lot.

Incineroar was dead too.

I was very mad, because my started was dead too. I was only with Helleon this time. I wanted to release him, but I had to do one last thing: TO BATTLE THE CHAMPION!

Your speech patterns piss me off.

I went in the champion arena, and faced the champion, who had these Pokemon: Mewtwo, Kyogre, Deoxys, Groudon, Rayquaza and Arceus, all legendary and all lvl 100. I knew that this time Helleon would be defeated, but once again, I won immediately.

Suddenly, after saving my data, the screen went black, and moments later, Helleon's face appeared on both screens of my 3DS. Then, it started speaking in a satanic voice:

"So, you worthless mortal slacker, you won the game with me, the Devil Pokemon. I am afraid to say that you have done something that you will pay for this: YOU TRIED TO ENSLAVE ME LIKE ANY OTHER POKEMON.

Enslave? What is this, Dorkly?

YOU SEE, WHEN I WAS STILL A PATHETIC EEVEE, I MADE MY PREVIOUS OWNER"S LIFE A LIVING HELL, SO HE GAVE ME TO YOU. AND THEN, YOU TRIED TO FORCE ME DEFEAT SEVERAL PATHETIC, WORTHLESS, WEAK, MEDIOCRE POKEMON THAT DO NOT DESERVE A PLACE IN THE GAMES.

Groudon is cool :(

As I was telling, your punishment for attempted enslavement of me, your punishment is AN ABRUPT END TO YOUR MISERABLE LIFE, YOU NERD!"

I was horrified after seeing Helleon, so I closed my 3DS instantly. I thought it was over and I said it was finally over.

"I think that the protagonist was more scared of being called a nerd than dying." -Trollson454

Then, Helleon appeared in front of me and said:

"You said what, David?"

I was scared even more, because he knew my name.

Holy cliches, Batman.

Then, Helleon used its Hellfire attack against me and flames surrouned me. Then, Helleon said"

"YOU CANNOT ESCAPE MY HELLFIRE NOW, DAVID! PREPARE FOR A TRIP TO HELL!"

Spoilers- he does (somehow)

Then I lost my consiousneces...

"consiousneces". Fucking "consiousneces".

A few hours later, I woke up in a hospital, with my body full of third degree burns as well as lots of scars. Then my parents said that I would undergo a surgery to remove the burns. I was ready for it...

How did you survive something that killed several people?

After I woke up, I saw that I was OK and I returned home. Then, I sent this story to all my friends, warning them about the mysterious man and the Eevee at the 6th gym and told them not to talk to him, otherwise, Helleon would come to their houses.

And then they called an asylum.

Since then, I have never played Sun and Moon again.

It's finally over... after four hours.

Anyway, feel free to edit as I said above.

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