Zomg plot twists

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I woke up today with a bottle of grease in one hand and a spoon in my anus. I took the shitty spoon out and licked it, then vomited on it, before sticking it in my urethra. It hurt, so I got really mad, beat up my brother, then got in my car, and headed to town, where I beat up all of the townsfolk, then I went to a castle and beat up our shitty sovereign ruler, then I went into the sky and fought EVIL PATRIXXX, it was an epic fight, and we killed each other with spirit bombs, and ended the universe.

Tomorrow I woke up with a shitty spoon in one hand and a bottle of grease in my anus. I threw the bottle of grease at my brother, then I got in my car and drove to town, where I had a massive diarrhea explosion all over the bastards. Then, I went into the sky, and fought EVIL PATRIXXX, except this time we went Super Saiyan level 3 and we played chess, which I won, but then he beat me at snakes and ladders.

Yesterday I woke up with drugs in one hand and a bomb in my anus. The threw the drugs at my brother, then I went into town, where I ripped the bomb out of my anus, and blew up the townsfolk. Then, I went into space, and fought EVIL PATRIXXX and Sonic.exe, but me and EVIL PATRIXXX teamed up on Sonic.exe and killed him with our wang powers. Then EVIL PATRIXXX killed me.

Next year, I woke up, and realised that my name was Weegee, and I had forgotten entirely what I was doing.

Hory shitu I bet you didn't see that twist coming!!1!

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