Be Careful When Someone Offers You a Movie Role
I was looking through Backstage magazine for an acting gig. I came across an ad advertising for a lead role in a Ron Howard movie.
I called the number and Ron Howard answered the phone himself. Which I thought was weird.
Ron said, "ok great. You're hired. I'll text you the address where we will be filming. Go there tomorrow."
I turned up at the address and something was weird. The craft services were all vegan. Heh. Whatever. I'm here to get paid.
At first I learned my lines and performed them. But later I also learned my lines and performed them. But finally as the film wrapped - nothing happened.
I reflected on what a strange experience it was - I didn't even audition!
Weeks turned into months as the editing and SFX was done.
Finally the premiere was announced. I walked up the red carpet. Proud of my first A-film.
The cinema went dark and the film flickered to life. There was only one problem.
You could hear my lines but you couldn't see me! After a few moments of confusion, I realised the terrible truth.
I am a vampire, so I don't show up on film. I guess that's the end of my film career. I guess I'll go back to being a shoe salesman. Remember kids, nothing is more scary than broken dreams.
Credited to teambob
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