Dead with a Bleag

One really bad Sunday morning I was sleeping.

Then I woke up 3 hours later and saw a new episode of Dog with a Blog was on. I have no taste, so I was happy to watch the new episode. After the intro a number came onto the screen.

666-666-6666

That was a weird number, but I shrugged it off because I don't have an attention span. After showing the number, a man said "Call this number to become an intern at Disney Channel Studio Thingy!" The man's voice was kind of weird though. It was very low. He was probably a demon.

I was very interested to become an intern at Disney Studios Channel Thingymajig, so I turned off the TV and grabbed my cellphone. I went to type in the number, but I forgot it.

Dang it! I was so mad I threw it on the grouuuuuund. It broke in half. I had wasted a $99 phone. Anyway, I turned the television back on. The episode had barely started. But it cut to commercial quickly. The number flashed back on the screen.

I grabbed my spare phone and violently pushed in 666-666-6666. The phone rang. It rang 6 times. Then it rang 6 more times. Then it rang another 6 times. That's 18 times. Then someone picked up.

"Hello," bellowed the demon-voice guy from before.

"Wassup," I said really cool like.

"Hey. Did you call to become an intern at Didney Worl Channel Studioz?"

"Yeah homie."Man, I was COOL!

"OK. Drive to 'Generic Spooky Cliché Lane'," he directed.

"Yuh," I slurred. Then I drove to "Generic Spooky Cliché Lane", got pulled over, beat-up by police officers, and parked my car in the Nickelodeon Disney Channel Studios parking lot.

I walked up to the studio building. Right as I entered, some guy grabbed me by the arm and shoved me through a doorway. In the room was a round table with possible writers of the show. The man that grabbed me by the arm told me I got to watch the newest episode of Dog with a Blog.

I was kind of confused, I mean, how is this episode already done when I just saw the new episode this morning? But I could care less, because I was the first to see this episode along with these other people!

But boy was I wrong.

Because this episode can also be seen by the readers of this story.

The episode started out normally, as if anything weird was going to happen, right? HA! I laughed out loud in front of many strangers.

Stan (he was the talking dog with a blog, like the title suggests) walked into the kitchen. He looked around with hyper-unrealistically CGI eyes. Then he shouted, "I WISH I WASN'T TREATED LIKE A DOG!"

There was slight chuckling from the people watching. Who has ever heard of a dog not wanting to be treated like a dog? I have. But that is not that scary so I won't tell that story.

After Stan shouted, Tyler (a dumb teenage boy with what I think is a mullet) walked in and stared angrily at the dog. The mutt CGI closed his eyes sadly. His mouth formed a CGI frown.

Chloe ran into the kitchen screaming bloody murder. "YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A DOG!" She wailed.

I thought this was just a joke by Chloe, because she was a young, weird girl.

But after this thought Tyler said that she was right. "You will always be a useless, stupid, pointless, dog."

This was the final straw for Stan. He managed to hang himself in 5 seconds. I couldn't even see what happened, but I saw that he hung himself.

Avery ran into the kitchen and saw Stan's dead dog body. She screamed because she loved Stan.

"No!" She screamed. "I wanted to have dog babies with him!"

Suddenly the lights of the kitchen went out. 5 stopwatch minutes later a dungeon came into view. Avery, Tyler, and Chloe's arms were individually held up by bracelets. A secret tunnel opened, and a bloodied mutt came out. It was Stan.

"Hello humans," growled a bloody Stan in a much lower voice. "As you can see, I am a zombie. But you know who can't see?" Stan put his head back into the tunnel and brought out a man with a sack^{lol sack} on his head.

"Your father can't see." Stan's timing was off, but when he removed the sack^{lol sack again} no one cared. It was the whole family's father, with his eyes scratched out.

"And do you know what I'm going to do to you?" Stan CGI grinned. All the kids had sheer terror across their faces.

"I'm going," Stan began, "to endlessly tell you dog puns!"

Everyone, including me, screamed.

"Who is world famous dog explorer? Indiana Bones!"

"What do you call a frozen dog? A pup-sicle!"

"How's your day been? Mine's been kind of... RUFF!"

The episode ended.

Everyone puked.

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