The Tryhard Chronicles
Lol. "Submit post. Title. Text (optional)." If I submitted a blank story, would you idiots like that? Too spooky amirite? Invisible ghost text!
Oh sorry, I forgot I'm supposed to be spooking you right now. Well, to recap the most recent (schizophrenic) episode, I gave a solid explanation on why stories that solely rely on death itself to be scary are ineffective, and then I got high and passed the fuck out in some kind of torture chamber, I think? I was almost the first person to actually overdose on marijuana.
God damn that would have been crazy.
But anyway, I had a really fucked up dream and here's how it happened. Yeah, the "big reveal" at the end is gonna be that it was all a dream. Unless maybe it wasn't! But no really it was a dream. By the way, before I fell asleep I noticed that there was a storm coming, which will be important later. Here's what I dreamed.
I dreamed about YOU.
I dreamed about your fedora, your filthy neckbeard, your Doritos-stained fingernails, and your unhealthy reddit addiction. You were dressed in medieval armor stained eggshell white - the attire of a "white knight" - and your squire carried behind you the coat of arms of the Friend Zone.
I shit everywhere in mild aversion to your unpleasant appearance.
"Are you literally Hitler?" I asked.
Euphorically, you proclaimed your atheism and your support of vile ideologies.
"I FUCKING HATE when people use the word literally incorrectly. Or incorrectLE, amirite? But seriously (seriousLE), I'm more of your average grammar Nazi." This was your majestic-as-fuck reply. And it spooked me.
Because the only other majestic-as-fuck thing I'd ever seen was the ghost floating right behind you!
"A ghost! Fear ye not, m'lady, I shall vanquish thy foe," you belched with the stench of three kinds of Mountain Dew on your tongue.
With your logic and meninism and white victim complex, you defeated the spooky ghost in a furious assault of Navy SEAL "you're fucking dead, kiddo" quotes.
As the gory action drew to a close, I realized that the tension of the scenario had distracted me from the lack of any real spookiness. But that all changed when the
[fire nation attacked amirite?]
doctor's son woke me up from the dream, and despite that not being how it works at all, I leapt out of my restraints as he uttered words of warning that will haunt me forever:
"You better prepare for the storm, maggot."
I WAS STILL IN THE DREAM!!!!! OR WAS I??!?! SHIT I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S SCARIER!?!!!! ALSO THAT MEANS YOU WERE THE DOCTOR'S SON AND HE LOOKED LIKE A DORK LOL FUCK YOU NERD
Originally uploaded on March 3, 2015
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