A Grimey Green Shower Curtain (ULTIMATE TROLLPASTA EVER!!!!)
The Morning was brisk the humming birds out side but what was that? it was the milk man delivering the Cow
seaman Just like every day. I went outside to inspect his lavish Automobile Truck and asked him this truck runs on milk right? he said. Well not so much see we have to mix in a little of the Spunk too to get her goin I stared decisively at him wondering i bet you make as much as my grandma down at the Mens bathroom up on glory hill...He found it odd of me starring at him as he walked back to his truck i threw a roll of toilet paper at him and yelled Watch out evil patrixxx awaits you in hell shaking his head in disapproval he drives away.
I sat down on the porch for a cigarette With a hardy glass of cow Baby's Smoking my cigarette i watched the little boy across the street play with his balls in hand and thought again to myself what is this world coming to? where any young boys can just strut around just waiting for the next Pedifile to pick them up the boy falls and hits the curb i rush to him giving him the Shrek healing ritual of bobble head merchandise he thanks me and gets up i tell him he should be more careful theirs a lot of men who would like to whisk him away in a second i mean just look at that face any middle aged call of duty playing loser would assault you in a second.
The boy looks up at me and begins to cry then runs home never to be seen again i walk back to my porch leaning in my chair applauding myself i said looks like your work here is done good sir. i open my door and walk through my kitchen to the living room slapping on the strap on dildo i then began to do my workouts 1..2..3 and I'm done the floor covered in a artificial Slimey Shrek Gummy juice i kneel to the floor Lapping up every last drop of the resistible swamp flavored spit. I seem to have tired myself out time for a shower i thought so i grabbed some new cloths and Slammed the bathroom Door closed I take a look at myself in the mirror.
I grab my razor and decide its time for a shave this beards getting pretty long. I went through one Swift slice after the next when i was finally done my floor lay a mess with piles of Pubes and bloody skin i bring my razor up to check i didn't hit anything important my crusty Green stained shlong lay on the floor looks like i nicked myself a little i pick it up and sew it back on quickly Attaching the Sac to the pole i miss one and hook it through my leg unable to fix this i decide ill go to the hospital after my shower now walking like a 80's rock star through a pile of coke with every careful step i near the shower.
I finally am able to reach it i open the curtain and leaping in tearing my stitching i slide down the side holding my leg i get over the unbearable pain and muddle through it i ease the water on waiting for it to start up nothing but a Clear sex slime slides out at first i am used to this' waiting even longer i begin to touch myself with the already excreted Jell-O i finish leaving a Bloody Brown Chocolate covered step son at the bottom of the drain. The water finally gets here with that i proceed to my shower washing my self putting my Shrek flavored shampoo into my hair i rub it around getting it in their good and begin to wash it out just as that happens a man rush's into the bathroom
I could not make out what he looked like but he was very tall he began stabbing the shampoo bottle Releasing the smell of garden Sprouts all around the house he downs the whole bottle but some Chucking it around leaving my shower curtain soaked in it he then runs out of my bathroom i finish up quickly checking if he was gone nothing was stolen or destroyed besides my shampoo bottle. I call the police to report a disturbance they get here as quick as they can i describe what i could to them the cop stands there for a minute starring at the ground and says you already know who this is just Remember that night when you were 12 years old then he looks up at me.....
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