Adventure Time: The Foul Young Owlboy
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NSFW WARNING
This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations. |
The Introsode
Hey guys, it's your boy... Sminkle Dlinkolimploningus III. I bought this fucking WEIRD DVD from a fucking WEIRD website called "Amazon". I remember working for Amazon and they took away my paycheck of 13 ounces of pocket lint for taking a bathroom break and then they slapped me in the testicles and called me a naughty little boy. Anyways the fucking WEIRD DVD came in my mailbox, and I opened it in awe. "Holy fucky shit, I may add this to my porn collection because of how awesome this DVD is."
Ok I just got done having fun time with the DVD... time to pop it in... Apparently, the owner of the DVD was named Brodacious Berginstien who died of Headclock disease. He got it from watching this specific DVD allegedly, but I won't catch any disease. I got my flu shot when I was 3 years old, and I screeched to the Skibidi Toilet Gods.
I popped the DVD into the DVD player and then I clicked the play button with my long bony finger. The episode then turned on, the intro was normal at first and then the title card appeared. It was fucking scary as shit. It made me shit bricks. I will analyze every pixel of this title card. Firstly, they look like they are in a forest of some sort, with the background having a man holding a camera towards a hanging body. Could this be a reference to the petrifying Logan Paul suicide forest blog? Beats me! Anyways you then see Fiddle Dee Diddle, pointing towards what appears to be a big smelly shirtless man wearing boots and a beak. As you can see, he is a sigma like me, and he jacks off! I mean look at his arm, is that based or what? You can also see Jimmy looking disgruntled as well.
The Episode
The episode started off with Findel and Jock frolicking in the forests. They seem like a happy couple, but not in the homo way. This happened for about half the run time. They just walked for like 5 minutes and I was like "It's just a bunch of cheap walk cycles!" but then the screen got dark and scary and there was a VHS filter over the animation for no reason and it was scary, and I pissed into my piss drawer. You might be wondering if my mom found the piss drawer, and to that I say no. I don't even live with my mom because I am a big boy! I get to pee in my drawer all the live long day and all the dead short night. Anyways then they ran into Taco Trucks and her husband... but something was... OFF! Her husband looked a bit strange! For some reason he was in a spit roast, and it was fucking scary as shit. Then Flank spouted "I'm gonna eat it all before you even get there!" and then Josh screeched "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and I was like "Haw haw haw! just like that one episode in season 1 I think."
Then there was a 45 second interval where Floppy was running towards the dastardly elephant. I fell asleep during this portion because it was too long it's longer than the Tiky Toky videos I watch. Then Funyuns ate the entire apple, and it was fucking scary.
Then Flyn went into an eternal slumber. He was stuck in a scary dream; it was really scary it was scarier than the King Worm episode which gave me nightmares when I watched it when I was a wee lad. Anyways the dream was Flint with a terrified look on his face running through what seemed to be the woods from my backyard. I was confuzzled and puzzled. Why were there pictures of the woods from my backyard? What the fuck?? He then looked over at a dog skeleton and said "I'm sorry Jake..." A single hyper realistic tear dropped from his empty soulless eye socket.
Flapjack was running with sweat dripping from his weird little phallic hat. Then behind him was a giant man with a giant arm from the giant title card from my giant television. He was severely sunburnt, and he was enraged and there was foam emitting from his mouth. They were catching up to the poor little Fimble, he did his iconic screech... but it was hyper realistic. He was screaming hyper realistically and I was like "Woah, is he screaming hyper realistically?" After I asked that my television formed a giant mouth and said "Yes, he is screaming hyper realistically!" "FUCK!" I screamed. Then the Foul boy reached Fucker and he KILLED HIM with hyper realistic blood everywhere. Flagpole then woke up and Tinky Winky peered over him. "Did you like the dream?" She asked in an EVIL tone. "FUCK YOU! I SHAT MESELF!" Flock screamed. Then the episode ended.
My review of the episode
I fucking hated everything about it... 10/10! Just kidding, this episode sucked the ball juices outta me because of how bad it was. Like, seriously! It was reaaaaal bad! Like... reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal bad! I may have to find the owner of the DVD who sold this to me and kill him. Oh, WAIT! He already died! What a LOOOOSER!
The Epilogue
My dog ran away and ran into my back woods. He always does this! What a bitch amirite guys? Anyways I put on my coat and boots and began searching for the poor pup. I then heard a rustle in the woods, an another, and another, and another, and another. Then I saw him... Him... Him... Him... The Owlboy! There was blood around his mouth, and it made me scream. Then he licked his lips and screeched his screechy screech. He darted off in a random direction. A while later I found what appeared to be a skeleton of my dog. I remembered the episode and a little plop slipped out into my pants... Is this... *gulp* AM I IN THE FREAKING EPISODE?! OHA NOAH! THIS AIN'T GOOD! The Owlboy then appeared and said "ABBYDOOBYSCOOBYPOO, I WILL NOW RUN AFTER YOU!" he proceeded to screech. "Is he about to chase after me?" The ground then formed a giant mouth and said "Yes, he's bout to chase." "FUCK!" I screamed. He pounced on me and jumped on me like a trampoline. To be fair, he did some admittedly cool flips whilst jumping on my giant stomach. Then he ate my face off, the end! I hope you liked and subscribed!
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