Average Italian Day

I wake up to the sound of Pavarotti's rendition of Nessun Forma blasting from my gramophone, while my busty wife opens the curtains so that I can take in the view of the leaning tower of Pisa. As I walk down the stone steps of the 13th century farm where we live, I can see my big chested wife already has a full spread ready for me: espresso and a pack of cigarettes. I down it in one while lighting the first cig and off I go on my vespa, ready for work. As I cruise past the Colosseo I light another cigarette with the one I already have in my mouth and I'm ready for my espresso with the colleagues at the bar around the corner from the office.

I sign in and it's 12, so time for lunch. Off we got to the trattoria for a 5 course meal: pasta, pasta, grigliata mista, pesce, caffè e ammazzacaffè. You know, gotta keep it light. Then it's time to take our cigarettes for a stroll by piazza san marco. 3 espressos later we're back in the office, so do 30 mins of work and it's time for our mid afternoon cigarette but this time we go to the terrace so we can take in the wonderful view of mount Vesuvius.

It's then time for aperitivo. Back on the vespa, wizz by the Uffizi gallery while smoking and here we go, a nice mixed platter of cured meats while we wait for my generously titted wife to get dinner ready.

Then it's time for pizza, 3/4 bottles of wine, limoncello and everyone is shouting I should get out the mandolino and perform the latest hit, o' Sole mio. The crowd goes wild, they throw their cigarettes in the air and it's time for bed. We all down our amaro and off they go on their lambrettas. At this point it's time for a snack before bed, maybe a cigarette while my wife's humongous melons swing as she cleans the house and kisses me good night.

And so I drift off, thinking about tomorrow as we start our 3 months government mandated holiday. Life is good.

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