Azumanga DIEoh
When I was 5 years old I lived in a crackhouse run by my mom, who birthed me inside a portapotty at a matallica concert. It was a hellish life, but one thing always got me through it. A DVD I'd watch on repeat constantly, called Azumanga Daioh. It was the best show I ever watched, I wanted to fuck Mr Tadakichi so bad (I am a zoophile). Osaka was also silly I like Osaka. But then one day my mom was tired of Chiyo chan being a fucking dumbfuck and destroyed my dvd then shoved it down my throat, causing me to vore Osaka. I was crying so hard I ran away and lived on some island run by a guy named Jeffrey. Now here I am, 22 years old escaped and living in an apartment in Detroit (it sucks).
I wanted to rewatch my favorite anime, Azumanga Daioh, so I went on ebay to find a copy. Only to see they were 30000000 billion penny. This is so sad, so to find out why they were so expensive i looked up "Azumanga inflation" and found a dvd for sale!!! It only costed 2 dolar. It was called "Azumanga DIEoh". Kind of weird, and the boxart was really scary. It had inflated osaka with red bleeding hyperealistic eyes killing Chiyo chan. I didn't think anything of it and bought it. Afterwards I got an email from the seller saying "WHY DID YOU BUY THIS THIS WAS MADE BY THE CREATOR OF SQUIDWARDS SUICIDE AND THE ED EDD AND EDDY LOST EPISODE!!!!" but i didnt care. So i waited 3 days and it finally came in the mail.
I was so happy when it arrived that I immediately put it in my dvd player to watch. When I put it in though, my dvd player did a weird sound then spit vomit and blood everywhere, but nevertheless, the episode started. The intro for the show was weird this time, the song was really fucking bad I think it was a mori calliope song, and all the characters were in the family guy style. But even worse, they had hyper realistic eyes and were saying "HAIL SATAN HAIL SATAN 666" I was so scared but I kept watching because hey maybe the episode was good!!! Wrong I boy was.....
The episode started with Yukari in her classroom bragging about how Nyamo would NEVEr teach what she was teaching (she was teaching poop). Then nyamo came in the class and was like "I FUCKIGN HATE THIS SHIT I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE" then killed Yukari. Yomi was like what the fuck then killed Nyamo. Yomi then threw the corpse out the window where Kimura ran over and took it back to his house. Osaka was so scared that she activated sicko mode and inflated big and round uwu. She bounced over to chiyo and killed her with a hyper realistic knife, and blood went everywhere. Then Tomo walked in like "IM LAT- WHAT THE POOP!!!!!!!!!!!" and ran away, only to slip on an icecube placed by EVIL PATRIXXX WHO WAS ACTUALLY THE MASTERMIND BEHIND ALL THIS!!!!! The episode then ended with "Raspberry HELL" instead of raspberry heaven.
I sobbed so hard that i grabbed the dvd and destroyed it, and EVIL PATRIXXX OSAKA CAME OUT OF THE DISC WHEN I DID THAT ADN KILLED ME, THEN POO POO'D ON THE FLOOR!!!!!! Remember guys, never buy Azumanga DIEoh. It is not worth it.
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