Ciaran's Adventures of NOTHING!

Hello world, my name is Ciaran, I'm a 14 year old girl (or boy, I don't know) who likes chocolate, video games, rabbits, Leonardo DiCaprio, weed, water, water, water, water, more water, moar water, MOAR WATERRR, GIMMMIE THE WATER NOWWWWW!

So yeah, recently, I've gotten myself into an interest with Five Nights at Freddy's, there's this one character in the sequel (or prequel if you're a retarded fanboy/girl) that I really want to marry forever, it's my destiny, his name is...

Balloon Boy...

I love Balloon Boy, I want him to be mine forever, he looks so cute with his chubby body, his yellow and red striped balloon, his propeller hat, his blue pants, brown shoes, and his ILLUMINATI nose. He looks so cute, even though I'm skinny and attractive towards other girls, I want to stick with my Balloon Boy, and his sweet succulant AA batteries!

But other than all that, I've had strange experiences for the last few months that I'd like to share with you all, I'd like to warn you that my story will probably cause vomiting, diarrhea, colds, sex, the Leonardo DiCaprio pooping session, Balloonitus (where balloons will come out of your anus) and many other symptons that might affect you as you progress through this incredible tale.

ALRIGHT, HERE WE GOES!

When I was 90 years old in 2001, I was playing X-treme Express 2 (yeah, there's a sequel) on my Playstation 420, it was so awesome because it had multi-player and there were 149 trains instead of 80, (149 - 69 = 80!) I felt like I could play this game forever, but then all of a sudden I felt slightly sick in my tummy, I wondered why and then realised that I had sex the night before with Jason Eisener, so I went to the weird white thing, got sick inside it and then went back to playing the sequel to X-treme Express.

64 hours, 23 minutes and 3.41 seconds of playing X-treme Express 2 got boring very quickly, so I decided to stop playing for the evening and went onto my Mac-Windows-Linux hybrid computer (yeah, it cost me €69, we Irish people are so lucky, because we're skinny, wealthy and sexy!) and decided to look for new games on Steam 2. (there's sequels of everything in the future!) I found a new game by Scatman Cough-on, it was called "Five Nights at Freddy's 2", it looked creative so I bought it and after 236.302 seconds (the Oogieloves came over and I had buttsex with the three as I waited, after they left, I went back to the computer) the game was downloaded.

I was excited and started to play this new game, upon seeing the start-up menu it looked off, I saw plenty of changes compared to what I have seen in the screenshots on the Steam page.

I noticed that the title was called "Five Nights at Amy's 2", who is Amy? Then I noticed that the title was colored RED instead of white, Toy Freddy was colored pink instead of brown, Toy Bonnie looked even more retarded than before, as his face changed to Ted Raimi and Toy Chica looked more like Lady Gaga for some odd reason because she had white-ish blond hair. In the blackness of the background, I saw something... Something that looked human-like... Something with big eyes... something that was blue and red... but that didn't matter. But then the worst part, there was BLOOD, there was BLOOD on Toy Freddy, BLOOD on Toy Chica, BLOOD on the retarded blue Ted Raimi, BLOOD on the weird human-like character, BLOOD in the background, BLOOD on the logo, BLOOD on the (Copyright) Scatman Cough-on 2014 text, BLOOD on the New Game button, BLOOD on the Continue button, BLOOD on the BLOOD, BLOOD! (like in BOB.EXE, I'd rather not talk about my cousin, Zack).

I just decided to click "New Game" and started up the game, I then saw a newspaper with a picture of the three "animatronics", it looked absolutley weird because the page article was titled "Leonardo DiCaprio's House of Happiness and Fun has opened!", I was like "what?" but I just thought this was a stupid idea and continued by clicking on the screen.

Then "NIGHT 1" popped up, and after that I remember hearing a faint laughter in the background that sounded like a girl's voice which lasted 0.3214 seconds, I found myself in a pretty weird office compared to the one in the screenshots, I saw BLOOD coming down the sides of the walls, the vents looked like vagina holes, the open hallway at the front had appeared to be completly dismantled, as if SammyClassicSonicFan had went on a rage in this "House of Fun" and used his wooden penis-sword to dismantle the border of the opening.

I'd rather not explain more as it'll bore you, so I'll get straight to the fun parts (not a SEXUAL innuendo you sick perverts), so yeah I was looking through all the cameras (you can figure them out yourself, you dingos) and found a camera called Amy's Room, I was confused and found plenty of things that looked out of the ordinary, "Amy's" bed was upside down, there were flying picture frames, there were chocolate bars splattered in blood all over the walls, and everything else looked damaged and wrecked but then...

I found that humanoid thing... behind the camera map... at the bottom right of the room...

It had brown hair, a blue and red striped propeller hat, a blue and red striped shirt, brown shoes, dark blue pants and red spotty cheeks and "his" (probably a he) nose... his triangular nose... It looked so weird but... it had confirmed that the illuminati has existed... shit...

"He" had a red striped yellow balloon and a brown sign that said "Faze Dickicaprios!", I was confused but just stared at this Balloon Boy, wait... Balloon Boy... THAT'S IT! His name is Balloon Boy! Right so he is a male which means I can have sex with him! Sweet!

I then decided to quit "Five Nights at "Amy's" 2" because I was bored again... So I decided to watch Televison...

I found a new show titled "Sonic X", I was confused and decided to look it up on PeediaWiki, it appeared to be a show based on Sonic the Hedgehog, I looked up the characters and something wanted to make me jump out of my skin...

One of the characters was named... Amy Rose...

I was terrified, I realised the connection between her and the "Amy" on that game...

I decided that I should just go to sleep and that's what I did after 8 minutes and 6.32439 seconds of watching this god-forsaken show...

My dreams didn't make me feel any better...

In the cold darkness, I found myself in a world of black voidness, it was very weird, I found myself looking around the black void/world and found nothing... I was bored and was about to wake up until I heard a voice, it was a male voice...

"I knew it was a great mistake for a man like me to fall in love!"

I was worried but then I heard the same male voice...

"Behind you, quickscoped-matey!"

I followed the command, turned around and- OHMAIGAWD! It's Leonardo Dicaprio!

"Do you wanna join 'ze Faze?"

I was confused...

"Hi!"

"Hello!"

"Hahaha!"

I felt a metal hand tap my shoulder, I turned around again and saw BALLOON BOY! I was so happy in this dream, then like Zack, I realised that this was dream, I could control it in any way that I wanted to! So I first decided to get all the chocolate bars in the Earth-world-thing! It was fun because I shaped them like the illuminati.

After 87 minutes and 87.878787 seconds I decided to stop...

I woke up from my sleep about 89.3141952 seconds later and felt more awake than usual, suddenly, I heard a voice... it wasn't a dream this time...

"Have no fear!"

To be continued... (this is a work in progress, so it's not finished)

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