Come back to me, my friend

So, basically, I was sitting in my kitchen, watching some Netflix, and eating candy from a bowl, nothing unusual, but then some shit happened. First, my lights went out, I couldn't see shit, so I turned up the brightness on my screen, and used my laptop as a flashlight. Then, my oven clock started buzzing. So, I creeped up to it, shut off the buzzer, and slowly opened up the oven. What I saw I couldn't comprehend. It was a perfectly baked apple pie. I pulled it out, and ate a slice, but something was off. The pie tasted great, but there was something... un-pie like. I looked closely at the pie, and what I couldn't see at first due to the lack of light became frighteningly apparent. A ghostly face was cooked into the pie. And it's mouth began to move. It wasn't until the first sound reached my ears that I realized who the ghost was. A dark, suppressed memory from my 20th birthday came back to me. My mother took me to my favorite cartoon character's house, because she had swag stripper cash to pay for it. The party was bad ass, until my idol took me to the back. Things were pretty fucked up from there, but I won't tell you what he did. So, anyways, the pie ghost was talking, and when the sound came from his ghost mouth, I flipped shit. "Steamed Hams!" The sound hit me and I was about about to throw the pie at the wall, but then the lights came on. And before the pie caught on fire and disappeared, a man from my past said something I will never forget. Seymour Skinner asked me to come back to him. Come back to the dark room in which I acquired hemorrhoids. "Come back to me, my friend."

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Credited to satan-agrees 

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