E.T. The Extra Lefty Terrestrial

E.T was my favourite movie franchise, I had all the merchandise, and got to meet Steven Spielberg himself. Being a 12 year old boy the release of E.T the video game made me incredibly happy and joyous. I couldn't buy it on release, but the very next day, I went looking at a car boot sale. I was incredibly surprised to see E.T the video game. I quickly grabbed it up and went to the old man selling the game. The old man had something off about him, he wore an apron saying "The tea seller" his eyes were also bloodshot and hyper realistic but I put it down to the cannabis he was smoking. After listening to his lefty ramblings I went home and put the game in my atari. The screen loaded up and E.T flashed onto the screen with hyper realistic eyes and blood oozing out of his sockets.

The title and the catchphrase popped up onto the screen, but it began to transform and change into something else. The words E.T changed into E.U and the catch phrase 'E.T phone home' mutated into 'E.U, is home'. I was shocked and immediately turned the machine off, but it turned itself on over and over again. I was sucked into the machine, trapped on a college campus with lots of cannabis smoking lefties. The head of this lefty brigade was E.T himself, his hyper realistic eyes bleeding Red for Socialism. I took part in battle with E.T the extra lefty terrestrial, our phoning home fingers locked in a deadly duel. E.T's fingers began to glow the socialist red, and he struck me down with Treachery and hatred for Britain. I was defeated, it was all over...

But then, from the corner of my eye, a duo of golden knights swooped down onto E.T, swiping his head clean off. They lifted their helmets and I felt safe, it was Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage. "You're safe now, my son" said Boris. They both used their purple and blue phone home fingers to change the lettering present in the sky 'E.U is home' changed into 'E.U, phony democracy' I was finally at peace, at ease. I transported out of the game into the real world. unlike the lefties still trapped in their delusional game, I was free.

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