Everybody hates Ren
Remember those old Ren And Stimpy episodes? No? Well, fuck you then.
The other day, I was searching through my computer when I came across a Notepad document deep within System 666. Having no idea how it got there, I scanned it for condoms. It had one Trojan in it. I deleted it and opened it up. All that was printed was one website link, followed by the following gibberish: "fhfkehfeaufsisf". Having not a single clue what it meant, I continued by putting the site link (which I won't tell you in case anyone out there is stupid enough to try it) into my web browser. It took me to a site, where there was a black background and a huge button. It had the same text on it that was in the Notepad document. I clicked it, and it brought up a download link. The file wanted to be downloaded was called "renseekshelp.exe". As crazy as I am, I went ahead and downloaded it. Big mistake. The second the download finished (which was 4.6 megabytes) my computer made the weirdest sound ever, and turned off. As I tried to reboot it, nothing happened. The file must have destroyed my computer. As upset as I was, I realized I was on my old PC. I hopped over on my Mac and redownloaded it. This time, there was no problem. What was downloaded was the single .exe file. I played it.
The movie clip was six minutes and four seconds long. Ren was walking down a road for 7 minutes straight. It was worse than anything Pokémon could ever put out. I mean seriously, Pokémon's animated series is basically Japanese Dora.
But for the last four seconds, there is text on the screen that reads "adn ten a skleton poped ot". Exactly that, as if it was written by a preschooler. After the clip finished, my computer shut down.
After seeing this video, I have never been the same. I've been angrier, crueler, and more anxious than ever before. My name is John Enter, and I hate when people send me request. Be careful with that shit, it's triggering me so hard.
Written by Jason Yay
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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