Evil Creepypasta Vacation
So 1 day my family was want 2 go on vacashin but we poor. Mama found website called goLOLbl.com that was offering a beachfront property retal 4 only $29.99 and so we went.
When we got 2 d reality office teh man said "Oh no you don't wana go there they hav a 1 star review." but we did anyway cause we bot it. mama said "wat u tryin 2 tell us 2 do? u want d house 4 urself!? u can suck my knickerbockers!" teh man said "I wud not send my worst enemy 2 dat house but since u r beeing needlessly hostile 2 me go and send flowers 2 urself! "
we arrived and the owner was there and it was Jeff the Killer. he said "Hi guys you can go 2 sleep in this wonderful house!" my dad said "Get off our property u clown!" jeff said "Lol i'm the owner and i'm just saying hello cause ur renting from me! Ugh tourists amiright!?" i said "Mama daz evl man we shoudl nto be here I want 2 go back 2 our trailer park!" mama then had the rage of 1000 suns and pushed me UP the stairs somehow. The hosue was nice but ther was blood everywear for some reason and it had weird rules. d rules said
- No TV during 6:13 AM or PM
- No using the pool after 6:13 AM or PM
- Do not use the complementary wifi during 6:13 AM or PM
- Do not use the complementary wifi to look at pornography. the EYE will see it
- Do not download any roms with the complementary wifi if you don't want 2 be spoooked.
- Do not have pizza delivered to this address
- If you recieve a chn lettr at dis adrs surrend it 2 whereever it instructs DO NOT DELAY
- Feed the "dog"
- There is an alter in the basement. Leave it a daily sacrifice.
I was like "daz weird rules" and my mama said "shut up they're just weird people we're gonna do what we want." so we unpacked and got some dinner and went 2 bed
next day my littl brother was missing and i was told my mama and she said "Shut up i didn't like him anyway. I only liked him for the alimony I got 4 him." my dad said "But we're not divorced" she said "SHUT UP I TOLD U NOT 2 MENTION DAT" my parents r weird anyway i decided 2 look 4 my brother while looking through the house i found some weird stuff man like old game cartrages, books on the occult, weird religious book that I had never seen before and then i rembered the basement and the alter that we had forgotten to sacrifice to. i went down there and found my brothers head was on a plate in front of the alter. I scremaed the alter had many tentacles and a large mouth on the front and a eye on top is screamed ran away and told my parents and my mom was like "whatever just throw him in the trash can we'll make a new one." my dad was like "no no more" i threw my brother in the trash and had a good cry but then i remembered that i didn't even know what his name was so i not care.
later that day my dad was watchin football and i saw it was 6:12 and I said "dad u better turn th TV off its almost 6:13" he said "I don't care about their stupid rules" but then at 6:13 Evil Patrixxx appeared and sadi "Are you enjoying your programming?" my dad said "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?" Patrixxx said "Let me show you" the screen of the TV then showed a hyperrealistic scene of Evil Patrixxx murdering many people and my dad had an heart attack and screamed and was dead. Evil Patrixxx then looked at me and said "Ur next if ur not careful!" I was careful as i ran away carefullly and told my mom she said "Why are you tellin me this shit don't you know I don't care? But while we're on the subject I'm gonna invite my ex-husband over that you didn't know about now that you're dad's gone." before I went to bed that night i put my mom's leftovers in front of the weird alter and they were vaporized.
my mom brutally beat me for eating her leftovers. I knwo I didn't eat them but its okay i just didn't feel like arguing with her. We then got a knock on the door and i though it way my mom's ex but it was anthropomorphic dog person he was dressed like an italian gangster and he said in an italian/british accent, "I want-a my-a food now" my mom said "GO AWAY!" he said "No one-a disrespect-a Doggie Gasani aka Evil Kipperixxx! You-a gonna regret-a this-a!" he then haden hyperrealistic eyes and said "Hello kids today I'm gonna commit homicide!" he then shot my mom which was kind of a good thing for me but now I was alone and had no family except for later when her ex comes which is gonna be real awkward. Doggie Gasani left.
I got a call from Jeff and he said "Is everything okay there?" i said "Yeah except for the fact that everyone's dead except for me." he said "That's real cool man. I was gonna call you to tell you the "dog" was comming but I was up till 6 am last night slitin my wrists after I had helped some people go to sleep. Peace out." he hung up and I was hungry I stupidly forgot the rule abot the pizza and i ordered it anyway. it arrived but the pizza man was an anthropromorphic bear animatronic with an obvious dead body stuffed in it. it said "Hello there i hope you enjoy this pizza. it does not contain diseases!" in that MLG text to speech voice. i was like "OK" and i just fed it 2 the alter wich seemed to be pleased with it as the eye on top glowed many colors.
The next day I was decided to get up early in the morning and go for a swim in the pool but i forgot that it was so early in the moring AKA 6:00 that soon the time would come and sure enough i wa in the pool and the water started to freeze and it was strage but then it turned green and began to irritate my skin I was frozen in place as the water turend to acid and a red tentacle started stabbin me and i screamed but I woke up only to realize it was a dream and I had left the TV on the the repoerter on the news sadi "That was a warnign of what could happen, Jerry Lightchews. We decided to just show you since the rest of ur family seemed so stupid" i got a phonecall from jeff again he said "Yo man you should be so spooked ur on TV" i said "Please stop" he said "LOL ur the 1 breakin the rules. it will be over for you soon though just go to sleep natural selection ok?" he hung up and i decid it was time for some me time. I have been very streessed out so the best way to get rid of stress it to release it if you know wat i'm saying? have soem self care therapy?
That was a mistake I went to pornhub but it was instead MURDERhub and it showed all of the porn stars being digested and at the end of each video it said "UR BREAKIN THE RULES JERRY!" I was like "CRAP!" but suddenly I got the most uncontrolable urge 4 some nostaligia i threw up everywear because it was so bad so i decided 2 download some old pokemon roms BUT I remembered what the rules said so i decided to see if i coudl connect to the wifi of the neighborign house and see if I coudl evade the rules. FAILED becasue i connected to "SuperSafe.jpeg" and and ghost started commmign out of the screen and they said "Lol fake network ur gunna die lol!" Evil Patrixxx appeared clapping very slowly he said "Marvelous you've broken every rule" i said "but i didn't download any roms yet." he said "Oh that's right silly me" he disappered and so i downloaded the rom. I opened the rom of Pokemon Red and Evil Patrixxx was on the screen and he said "Back to what i was saying" i said "NO WAY THIS ISNT POKEMON RED I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" so i ran out of the house. Then i got a phone call it was Evil Patrixxx he siad "all this and NOW you can't take it? NOW that you've broken all the rules!? how about this. Rule #9 don't sacrifice yourself on the alter."
I can't take it anymore I have decided to end it all as I'm writing this I'm lying on the alter in the basement waitign for something to happen. It's over for me... There's no escape. whatever you do don't rent a beach house for $29.99 Also don't get Windows 11, that's what's on the laptop I'm typing on and it keeps saying I'm horrtible and speeling and engrlish in general. Say no operating systems that judge your life choices.
Goodbye crulel world.
Ur next
t nd
Written by Church of C'Shan
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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