Family Guy - Squid Game
Family Guy – "Squid Game Guy" (3rd Person Perspective) A novella written by The Ghost of the Dead Author
It was a dark, glooming night. I had gotten back from MacDonald's, walking my fat and sweaty ass home from work to catch an all new episode of the greatest animated television series ever created; Family Guy, I had practically worshipped the show since it had first aired on Adult Swim in 2003, Getting to rewatch the series' revival was one of the best days of my miserable childhood, It really got Me through those troubling times. Each time a new episode would air I would reenact what I'd seen on Family Guy, When Peter became a fatass living in a food truck, I moved out of my house, began living in a food truck and quit eating healthy, well-balanced meals and instead ate as much junk as humanly possible. Whenever Peter beat up Meg, I would beat up my sister. When Peter said he never loved his kids, I told my kids I never loved them.
But enough about my love for Family Guy, I was on my way home to watch the newest episode of Family Guy, when this fat guy who dressed like Peter warned Me about the future Season 21 episode of Family Guy called "Squid Game Guy" that would air as the season starter. How is this even possible? It's on Season 20 right now, 21 doesn't air in another seven months from now. He described the episode as an episode so unfunny and unnecessarily graphic that it'll leave even the most hardcore fans shrink to ashes, He hands Me a taped copy of the episode and urged Me to destroy it before 'THEY' find him, he disappears into the night, almost as if he was never there to begin with. What you are about to read isn't a Creepypasta or a Fanfiction, it's raw and unedited footage taken from a future Family guy episode, I cannot show the footage because of the side effects it'll have on the viewers, just take my word for it and don't watch it if you happen to find it online.
I slipped into a puddle of my own grease, because of how big of a fatass I am, it took Me a good 3-4 minutes for Me to get back up.
I finally got home and got my two liters of Coke and the six pizzas I ordered, since my wife left Me and took my dumbass kids away from Me, I could finally enjoy myself for once. I popped the tape labeled "FG 2101" into my VCR, missing the newest episode.
The episode opens with the intro but LOUDER
"IT SEEMS TODAY THAT ALL YOU SEE IS SHIT ON TV AND SHIT ON TV BUT WHERE ARE THOSE GOOD STUFF IN WHICH WE USED TO WATCH LUCKY THERES A SIMPSONS GUY LUCKY THERES A BUM WHO HAPPILY CAN DO – YOUR MOM, HES OUR FAM-ILY-GUYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"
Great! it's just a stupid shitpost put on a tape, I wasted my valuable time I could've spent on the actual episode that was currently airing, damn shit.
The episode cuts to the Griffins' House, Peter is watching Squid Game on a Piracy Site called '123movies' and accidentally clicks on a porn ad, though he clicks on one ad called "Squid Game" cause of his degenerate normal fetish. Upon clicking on the ad, he's taken to an ultra scary deep web webcam room of a dark room, before a scary dualshock button man jumps at the camera as the power in the griffins' home goes out. Peter is frightened and runs upstairs to hide under the bed, turns out there was never anything wrong to begin with, Chris was plugging toasters into every outlet of the house in hopes of summoning CDI Mario. Lois comes home with nothing but a can of beans, all she could afford, Peter is angered she didn't buy chicken nuggies from MacDonald's and storms out of the house, capping Meg on the way out.
Peter walks to the nearest subway as a quicker route to The Drunken Clam, sitting next to him is a chink with a suitcase full of money, if he wins a game involving sandbags, he'll be set up for a chance to win the case of cash he desperately needs for the chicken nuggers. Petah ends up winning and the chink shakes his hand as he walks aboard the subway train, not thinking much of what just happened. As he leaves The Drunken Clam, he is kidnapped by a group of men in dualshock controller button costumes, similar to the one that jumpscared him earlier.
It cuts to Peter waking up in a massive prison, with the rest of the griffins in separate cells, among some other Quahog residents; Cleveland, Quackmire, and The Guy who sounds like Brody from the funny Joe Mama videos. The Family is confused and scared as to why or how they ended up there, each of the family remembers getting knocked out by scary looking dualshock button men. A chink dressed in the dualshock button outfit announces Squid Game, only six can make it out, out of 500 players, four games will be played, the first for the round is Simon Says. But little would the griffins know that this isn't just an ordinary children's game.
GAME 1/4 – SIMON SAYS
Everyone readies for the game, Everyone begins running towards the Goal Point, though are shocked when they see many players getting shot down for not stopping. For kicks, Peter pushes Meg as the Baby Doll is about to turn around, though she is saved when a bunch of bodies pile on top of her. Quagmire begins bobbing his head around one of the female corpses "Alriiiiiight." Expecting to see him get shot, Cleveland gets killed instead, because tropes and stuff. Brian and Stewie cheated by using his teleportation device, while the rest of the family struggled to make it to the finish line, Peter being the most caught back because he's a fatass.
Lois, Chris and Meg finally reach the finish line while Peter has to drag himself to the finish line. Out of 500 players, 36 have been wiped out, leaving with 464 players. Lois is pissed at Peter for almost getting Meg killed, Peter doesn't give a shit about Meg though and only cares about the prize money that comes with winning, Lois suggests they stick together in order to win the remaining games. Brian suggests they go after the men in the dualshock button suits and save the 464 contestants that are still alive, Brian and Stewie take a detour to find out what's going on.
I've ran out of soders and I've eaten all the pizzas, I decide to order twelve more pizzas and head to the gas station to pick up a couple more liters of Coke. The cashier is the same guy who cosplayed as Peter Griffin, he reminded Me to destroy the tape and handed Me my soders. Those delicious, greasy and oily pizzas arrived and I got back to eating and watching Family Guy.
GAME 2/4 – LAVA
The Players enter an island atmosphere and climb atop a mountain, they find a pit of lava, it is revealed by one of the dualshock button men that this is The Floor is Lava, to get around the lava each player must parkour their way from rock to rock and avoid lava from erupting, The Players all begin jumping from each rock, knocking each other off into the lava, Joe is beating everyone with those skills and makes it to the exit, Quagmire is too busy humping two rocks that are stuck together and ends up falling in the lava and dies. Meg trips and is about to fall off the rock and begs for Peter to help her but he doesn't give a shcrapit about her and supermariojumps to the finish line but Lois manages to grab her hand in time as the rock falls into the lava, they make it to the finish line safe and sound.
Meanwhile, Brian and Stewie follow the leader enter a secured door, inside they hear "Fly Me to The Moon" play and is an original song written for the cartoon Evangelion. The Two begin trying to figure out the passcode, and which is in the form of the Dualshock Controller Buttons.
Lois once again is angered at Peter for not saving Meg when she was about to fall in the lava, and Peter says it out loud that he doesn't care about Meg at all one bit one way or the other. Lois is about to borate Peter when he plugs in his earbuds and plays 'Surfing Bird' so he doesn't have to listen to her nagging. Brian and Stewie finally figure out the password and enter the room, quietly, they find names of all the people who went missing, all of which we're contestants that went on Squid Game over the years, including the current ones playing this moment in time. Behind them, the door is closed, and the two get knocked out. The pizzas came and it was once again the same guy dressed as Petah Briffin, he reminded Me once more to destroy the tape before leaving into the darkness, once again. I get back on my couch to watch more of the episode and eat my pizza.
GAME 3/4 – HUNGRY HIPPOS
The Third round begins, now 102 players have been eliminated leaving 362 players left. The Players enter a small, Jungle room, in this game, the players must survive 4 minutes of the hungry hungry hippos or they'll be eaten and killed. The game begins and the hippos begin coming out and eating the contestants alive, many getting eliminated at once, Joe fights one of the hippos himself and his legs get bitten off and gets eaten, Meg gets caught by a hippo and Peter does nothing, so Meg gets eaten by the hippo, Peter begins feeding the hippos the contestants like a kid at a zoo feeding animals.
He grabs Chris and tosses him into one of the hippos as well, the timer finally runs out and the game ends, leaving three of the hippos to leave to their cages, the fourth one gets ripped open by Joe, He and the remaining contestants, including Meg and Chris crawl out alive. This time, Meg, Chris and Lois are all pissed at Peter, Meg wishes he dies but Peter once again doesn't care.
Brian and Stewie are tied up to a chair, and whoa and behold; the guy dressed up as Peter Griffin is revealed to be the leader. I turn around and the guy dressed up as Peter jumpscares Me and ties Me up to a chair. He reveals his sinister and evil plans to end Meg abuse in Family Guy, him being a seasons 1-3 fan. Turns out he'd fatten Me up with pizzas and soders, even being one of the people working at MacDonald's at the start of the story, he encouraged Me to destroy the tape, knowing my interest would be peaked if I heard him say it, had plans to us my fatass as a wrecking ball to Fox HQ as a threat to get rid of Meg abuse permanently. He created the entire episode the whole time, which explains why it was too serious for a real Family Guy episode to be made, he even made up the whole story about people dressed in squid game outfits trying to get him.
It was all to build up for the destruction of Fox HQ and for the executives' interest, I have to stop him but I can't even move anymore, all I can do now is watch the rest of the episode.
With 238 players eliminated, 126 players remain, a final game is set up and this time it's WHO CAN BEAT MODERN MODERN PETAH GRIFFIN. The Guy Dressed as Peter takes the players to a final game field, the rules of the game are simple; Beat Modern Modern Peter Griffin and win. He's now a lot strongar after injecting himself with a covid vaccine a shit ton of steroids, The remaining players all gather to attack him but he keeps squishing them like bugs, Meg gets knocked over to the edge of the cliff and about to fall, Peter at first doesn't care, remembering nothing but the bad times he had with her, but he suddenly begins remembering the good times he had with her.
After a dramatic flashback, he decides to save her, The two are both at the edge due to Modern Modern Peter knocking them to the edge. Joe comes in and saves them but falls off the cliff and dies. Peter and Meg are useless in this situation, they've got nothing to stop them, turns out the only way to kill him is by caring about Meg, Peter begins caring about Meg and Modern Modern Peter begins to melt.
He's finished off when Peter hugs Meg, after the defeat of the Dualshock button people, Peter apologizes to Meg for treating her like shit over the years.
One Year Later, Peter is watching the TV again and watching Squid Game Season 2 on 123movies and gets another porn ad, he clicks on it and it takes him to another scary deep web video, this time with Supermario from Hotel Mario and he jumpscares the tv, the power shuts off. Chris comes into the room with toast and quoting Mario from Hotel Mario. Behind him, CDI Mario shows up and the screen blacks out.
That was the shittiest fanfiction fest I ever saw, unfortunately, I don't have a say in this shit, The Guy dressed as Petah Greefeef is about to carry Me and take Me to Fox HQ, I grab the knife I used to cut all my pizzas and stab myself in the stomach, letting out a shit ton of fat that sprays all over The Guy dressed as Peter Griffin, and making Me skinnier, I fall to the floor and drag myself to the tape to destroy it, The Guy dressed as Peter Griffin tries to reach for the tape but I rip the tape in half, angered, The Guy dressed as Peter Griffin grabs Me buy the neck and stabs Me with the knife I used to cut pizzas, I bite his neck and stab him with the knife he was using but also the knife I used to cut pizzas and also the knife I used to stab myself and let out all the fat, The Guy dressed as Peter Griffin dies on the floor, I end up dying shortly after. I'm dead and burning in Hell for worshipping a false god or whatever, it's even worse than just fire too, It's Me living with, loving and caring about my kids and wife.
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