Hair Don't

i'm a hair stylist. my job takes me all over the world, from my house to the salon where i work, i just never know what's going to happen next! yup it's glamorous and exotic work. but sometimes when i'm snipping hair all day i feel... weird. it's like sometimes there's bugs in people's hair. i mean sometimes there are bugs, lice and fleas, but i'm used to that, i just snack on those the way monkeys do. but i'm talking like bugs, creepy crawlies with legs all over the place. most days i can stifle the screams when i feel them crawling over my hands. i don't want the customers to get nervous after all. usually i just keep smiling while my eyes bug out and i foam at the mouth a little and sometimes i piss myself and send threatening emails to friends that i'll later deny. 'that length looks great on you!' i'll say 'do you use coconut oil?' i'll ask 'oh no i'm fine' i'll laugh 'just thought satan was tickling me with your head hair is all. haha, mondays amiright?' people are usually really floored by the do's i give them. they stare at the mirror, their eyes and mouths open in shock. 'haha, glad you like it!' i'll say as the blood drips from my finger tips. people are in such a hurry these days though! they just pay and rush out the door. i guess they're just excited to show off their new style!

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Credited to lucktimedragon 

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