Homestar Runner: They All Die
Okay, so who knows Homestar Runner, The adorable web series about a guy called Homestar Runner and a matador called Strong Bad? It's really good, but once I saw an episode that wasn't released to the public.
It all started out on June 14th, 2019. I was on my computer, looking for downloadable Homestar Runner episodes. I came across an episode on a file called "unknown.avi.". It had a crappy, colorless drawing of Homestar Runner on it. It looked horrible, as if it was done by a 4 year old. But he had realistic bloodshot eyes, he had blood on him, and his mouth was jagged. I was unnerved. Trying to ignore it, I downloaded the file.
I checked my files, and I got a video file. It was called "unknown.avi". I clicked it and the file began. The intro played, only there was no music or sound effects. After the weird theme, the episode began. It wasn't called what the file was called. It was called "They All Die".
The episode began. It only had 5 characters, Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Pom Pom, The Cheat and Coach Z. The Cheat said that he had his driver's license, and said that everyone could go on a drive with him. Homestar Runner said yes, and Strong Bad agreed, as he didn't get hurt. They were then seen getting in The Cheat's car.
They drove off. Soon they reached the mountains. I knew this was going to be like the one Planters commercials when Mr. Peanut died. The Cheat drove normally... until coming across an armadillo. He took a turn too sharp, and everyone ended up hanging from a branch (Homestar Runner hung on with his legs or mouth).
"What are we to do?" Pom Pom said. The Cheat didn't say anything, and he let go of the branch, falling to his death. It showed his corpse. It was drawn in the same style as Dead Bart.
Everyone stared down. "Shall we join him?" Coach Z asked. "Sure", said Strong Bad, and then, everyone let go, falling and eventually landing around The Cheat. A message then popped up saying "You will be next, Sophia." (i have no idea how they knew my name) and the file ended with the same drawing of Runner from the website.
I decided to delete the file, and it still haunts me to this day. I still have one question...
How did the creators get away with an episode like that?
I texted Macromedia Central and the next day I got a response. It said this.
Dear MixelsFan1973
We have no idea how you found that episode. It was supposed to be the pilot, but it was scrapped due to its content. Also, you are pretty smart to delete that file. We are sorry, Sophia. We really are.
Yours truly, Macromedia Central.
Originally on Geoshea's Lost Episodes Wiki
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