I'll Never Close My Eyes Again

What I'm about to type, the retelling of an incident that happened to me literally about 20 seconds ago, is absolutely true.

I am what you would call a crooked gamer I guess. I download emulators and ROMs to test out games before actually paying cash to legally purchase them. Yeah, that's unethical and all that, and my business computer applications teacher would most likely strongly disapprove, I could go to jail- yadda yadda, blah blah blah. Look folks, I'm sorry, but I'm just not a squeaky clean moral kind of person. ANYWAYS, back to my story...

So imagine, if you will, laying in bed in your pajamas, fumbling around on your computer trying to find a file in your download folder that is so ginormous it makes it about as easy as finding a needle in a haystack. Now usually, I keep up with what's on my computer, to ya' know, avoid viruses and keep valuable space on my local disk nice and open. So as I was saying, imagine you're looking around and can't seem to find what you're looking for.

So, like any decent human being you move your mouse upward towards the search text box. But wait, your mouse highlights something you don't remember downloading. Now keep in mind, I stay on top of what's going in and out of that folder like a watchdog with insomnia.

So I double-click the mysterious file. The name, unlike most documents and files, of this file is just scrambled up letters with no actual meaning to be determined. Sure, lot's of files are like that. But, in most cases, every little letter stands for something. On this one? akfdfjgheiogferiughckjnbna. Yeah, that's pretty much it in a nutshell.

So stupid, curious me throws rationality for a loop and forgets that it could be a file planted there to transfer a virus and waits for it to load.

Five minutes later I'm still staring blankly at the unmoving screen.

Then the creepiest thing on earth, heaven, or hell happens. Without me moving my hands whatsoever, the mouse pointer decides to go and click the Windows Start button, go to Accessories, and open a new blank document on my Notepad. Nice, right? I guess it would have been fine if it had stopped there. Oh, but it didn't. In all of 3 milliseconds it spits onto the document these words. "Give us just a minute."

At first I'm thinking, "Oh holy shit, I gave someone else access to hack my computer!?"

If only that had been the case.

I sat there at the verge of tears. My baby was going to be taken away from me. My computer...

Then all the sudden, ENTER.... It moves the insertion point like 200 lines. It just keeps going down. I breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe their program is acting up and they won't be able to get into my computer! Nope.

The next things I see are the sentences, "Alright. Plenty of space."

I'm like, "Yeah, dipshit."

Then it types slowly types, "But"

I'm like, "Uhmm..."

Then it types even slower, "not"

I'm freakin' out at this point

Finally, "enough?"

All the sudden out of my peripheral I see something. And cold air hits my neck. Then I realize I have ink all over my hands.

This has been the freaking scariest night of my life.

---

Credited to Whispers1997
Originally uploaded on October 24, 2012

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