I saw a big thing

I was walking along the street when a big fat almost-naked-but-a-some-underwear person (not assuming their gender) came up to me. "Kid, gimme a hug," The fat person said to me kindly. They were crying a bit so I prepared to hug the fat person. Suddenly a rat came along and squeaked a warning! "Don't hug him, hug me!" "DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER?" The fat person bellowed, their layers of fat jiggling like the way a fat persons fat jiggled. The rat and the fat person began to fight. After they finished fighting (it took a while) I went and hugged the rat. Then I went and hugged the fat person. They were soft, like a piece of soggy bread. I felt myself being consumed by the enormity of the person.

I woke up on a beach in a Europe country, surrounded by people staring at me. "anothero uno" a short person said, glaring at me. "Leavo himo alono!" A skinny naked person said, in a fierce manner "DID YOU JUST FRICKING ASSUME THEIR GENDER?" the short person said, calmly. I watched as they fought for three weeks straight and both starved to death while I enjoyed a nice Tequina Sunlight on the beach. I asked a dog named Colin how to get back and he told me that I needed the Holy Bacon. He said that if I consume it I would be travelling back to the street with the large person. I gave him a piece of meat (totally not human meat) and set off on my journey for the Holy Bacon.

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Update: I died.

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Original author unknown

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