I think my neighbors are corpse shredders

Recently, I moved into a new place that I got cheap. The real estate agent promised there was nothing wrong with the place and that the neighbors definitely does not get rid of corpses for the mafia. Which put me at ease, even though the guy who sold me the apartment told his wife "Thank goodness that we got out of there before the neighbor killed us and shredded our bodies to get rid of the evidence!" when he though I wasn't eavesdropping next to a dumpster. "Yeah, good thing we tricked that stupid idiot to buy our place, now he can get killed instead!"

Well anyway, a few days later, a van from Honest Tony's Carpet Roll company parked in front of the building and delivered a rolled up carpet to my neighbors. Soon after, a noise, like a giant meat grinder started to sound through the ceiling. Well, how annoying, I thought, just when I was going to watch porn work on my nobel prize winning project. I can't jack off work scientifically with that racket going on. I decided to go upstairs and make them stop.

I knocked on their door. The grinding sound stopped. A little while later, a guy opened up and I said "Excuse me, I'm trying to jac... to do sciencing more better, so I can win the Nobel prize, and a Harvard. Please be quiet." "Eeyy! Forget about it!" he replied. I didn't quite understand what he meant but I think I got the message across. I was more concerned about the blood stained apron, and the severed foot lying on a bench behind him.

"Say, Mr...." "Spaghioli." "Spaghioli, why is your apron so bloody, and why is there a severed foot lying over there?" I asked, but before he could answer, another man came from a different room, wearing similar attire. "Eeyy, Tony!" the newcomer said "I need more bags for the shredder we are using to shred people who... who is that?!" "Hi..." I said nervously.

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Credited to Somedudethatisbored 

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